england amorous feeling

that's the name of a shop i just passed on my way home. clever, no? better than ordinary shop names like 'liv tyler' or 'only' or 'belville.' my favorite shop name is 'big toe,' which is a shoe store. logically, you would think, but such logic rarely applies here.

many things have happened since i last checked in. well, not really. trevor left for the states, that's been the biggest news. we're suffering from not being able to text every 7.89 minutes, so consequently we've worked out a semi-schedule that consists of both of us constantly being on the computer no matter what time it is so we can chat. skype has been a rare beast, because mostly he's at his mom's house, which features no less than 2 or 3 people swarming around him at all times. the one time we did skype, his baby sister was at home and later his mom came in and teased him about how 'a certain someone was having an internet conference with a special someone.' trevor, despite his actual age, eventually ended up being flustered about having a skype conversation with me that wasn't a secret to begin with. either way, i log into gmail about 50 times a day to see if he's online. he does the same, often very patiently waiting hours for me to log in. i tell ya, there's got to be another way.

in other news... there really isn't any. yesterday i went to linhai for a factory visit. it is a 3-4 hour drive each way. of course, i slept most of the way in the car. luckily my colleague is shanghainese, so he could at least chop it up with the driver there and back. i cannot stay awake in a vehicle for anything, i'm not sure why. i am the worst road trip companion known to man. except for cynthia. we're tied for last place. once i woke up, however, i was pretty happy, since linhai is situated at the base of the mountains in zhejiang province and is really beautiful and green. much more beautiful than the flat swampland that is shanghai proper.

we met for a total of one hour with the factory execs, did a quick factory tour (15 minutes), then jumped back in the car for another 4 hour drive. this time we had with us the young president of the factory, whose english was excellent. turns out she grew up in linhai but has lived in shanghai the past 16 years, so we gave her a lift back to shanghai for the weekend. i thought for sure i'd stay awake, since there was someone in the car i didn't know too well, plus we had just signed a contract to do work with them, plus she speaks great english, but we managed to chat politely for about 10 minutes before i completely passed out again for 3 hours. i'm shameless, i tell you.

i got home, made myself some dinner, then chatted with trevor (aka helped him with his resume) for a few hours. sherry organized a trip to xitang today and even booked a driver, but i pulled a lame one and decided to stay home. i slept for 10 solid hours last night (despite the 6-odd hours i got in the car) and could not be convinced that touring a water town in 100-degree weather with 65% humidity was a good idea. water to me means mosquitoes, and i get enough of them here. we are looking to try and take more weekend trips before i leave (and just in general), and i applaud sherry for always being the inspired one on excursions.

today i happily spent chatting with trevor, who sent me about 100 pics of chicago and of his dad and brother, then finally getting my shit together to run errands and get my daily exercise. daily exercise is a piece of shit in the summer. my knee is questionable, so i am taking a break from yoga and 'walking' at trevor's urging. one of the first things he learned about me (besides my general dope-ness) is that my mom is diabetic (2) and that i am likely on her heels to be the same. it scares him to death, much more so than it scares me, so he has commenced operation harass-the-shit-out-of-me about exercising every day. the upside about operation-pain-in-the-ass (covert name) is that walking around for 30-40 minutes actually qualifies as exercise, so i am able to do it most days.

i feel a couple of different ways about it. one, i find it ironic and a bit sad that trevor believes it necessary to actually ride my ass about exercise. it means that i've become this inactive person in his eyes, someone that sits on her ass and eat chips. (mmmmm...) ok, sometimes i do that. but generally i'm healthy and active (note that generally = when i don't live in china). here the pollution is terrible, my asthma is terrible, and i've paid about a billion yuan for a yoga membership that doesn't include a stairmaster. it means that as long as trevor has known me, i've been relatively sedentary, which is sad to me for some reason.

two (did i lose ya?), i am a bit concerned myself about my potential for developing this disease, and incredulous that this is actually happening to me. my mom tested my blood sugar when she was here and it was really high. i can't swear that it was after a full 8-hour fast, but regardless is was high enough to be considered pre-diabetic and i am not about to end up like my mom. so i decided that my reasoning (aka excuses, see above) for not exercising outside are paltry and lame and that i just need to do it. so far it's been going ok. i joined the boys at their muay thai class last sunday (note: not easy on my knee but fun as hell and i'm going again), and i've been walking or running. i haven't done it every day, but 3 out of 6 and it will be 4 out of 7 tomorrow. it's better than 0 out of 7.

so that's whats been up over here. not a lot.

sleeplessness

there's a sense that things are drawing to a close, even though i'm going to be around for another couple of months. i don't really feel like i'm going to be here for another 60-odd days. trev is already getting his stuff together to ship off into the neverneverland of china post, and he's gone as of next week. i still have a bit of time, however i choose to think about it.

basically rounding up the rest of my task list before i leave work (and jesus is it LONG) and trying to do survivalist things like find a job in where i'm going to be relocating, and thinking about what household shit trevor and i are going to need (read: everything). oh yeah, and wresting my belongings from my family members, who have been both secretly and openly appropriating shit from my boxes in the garage. i guess that's what happens when you're too broke / cheap to rent a storage space.

weeks are booking solid in terms of extracurricular activities. have to work to squeeze in the odd yoga class or stay-at-home-and-watch-the-wire nights. at the rate that my apartment appears to retain heat these days, there's not much incentive to be home anyway. i am going to weigh about 300 pounds by the time i leave here. every evening is an opportunity to try this or that place either for the first time or one last time before i leave.

must. reign. in. appetite.

the more or less chronic GI tract issues that i have in the summers in asia seem to have little to no impact on my actual appetite. i like to think it actually makes my body MORE efficient at calorie absorption, therefore accounting for the beer belly i'm cultivating on my frame. and, for the first time in my life, i can actually attribute beer consumption (and dinners no earlier than 9 pm every day) for this unwelcome addition to my physique. if i wasn't so busy all of the time, it would rather suck.


waiting for the melatonin to work...

gu rei hai

chatting with t-money - who believes himself to be one of the more healthy-like-a-healthnut individuals in china, except for his LIVER, mr. smartypants - i realized that it had been weeks since i'd eaten a fruit that wasn't in a cocktail.

what?

i've had a busy past 4-6 weeks, ok? shit. i'm also only eating meals that come either from a delivery person or a package. ramen diet. at least i'm eating plenty of EGGS, the protein everyone here seems to subsist off of. besides pork, of course.

hee hee. show me a chinese person with a vitamin E deficiency and i'll show you a north korean escapee.

day 5

this morning was difficult. i wanted to hunt down a cheeseburger, spear it, and devour it while still standing, then chase after some seared foie gras and then maybe a roasted chicken. lunch hit and my stupid brown rice and sweet potato was for the birds. i ate it but i felt like throwing it across the room at the unsuspecting contract sales team. i was too tired after 3-full scale kitchen cleanings yesterday (vegan cooking is a bitch for cleanup, you have to make like 13 dishes to be full) to cook up the rest of the tofu for protein, so i had a very carb-intensive lunch.

meh.

been a bit homesick today, not sure why. and, even more inexplicably, i decided to peruse bay area dog rescue websites to quell the feeling. it didn't help the homesickness, but it did entertain me while at work, when i have 100 other things to do. i am feeling unfocused, clearly.

i've been wanting to go home and see my family and have a bbq in the backyard. i want to pet the dog and harass my cat and listen to my aunts talking smack to one another. i want to walk around grungy-ass lake merritt with my sister and my cousin, and go to brunch with them on the weekends.

not sure what's causing the sudden surge of nostalgia; i had a lovely weekend with great weather. lots of bike riding and produce-buying and sitting in sunny courtyards eating rabbit food. no swim in jill's pool yet (hehe), but we have a short week with the may holiday starting on thursday (when the cleanse is over, YES). i've already signed up for 2 yoga classes this week with 2 good teachers, i should be feeling content and even somewhat sanctamonious about my willpower and veggie-containing insides.

mysteriously, i'm not.

two wheels

for christmas, trevor proved what a good listener he is and presented men with a bicycle. i had been going on one day about how much i wanted one, especially since steph has one and we can go riding around the city. it has, since then, been sitting on the first floor of my building, gathering dust. it's lovely, actually, if i'm allowed to say that about a bicycle. i loved it upon sight - pearl white with green detailing, a happy reincarnation of my snowboard in bicycle form. like most bicycles here, it's a one-gear beach cruiser. just my speed - i can drive any manual transmission, but give me gears on a bike and i freeze up.

i had been stalling about riding it - something was always wrong. too cold, snow on the ground, i don't know the roads well enough, something. i was super excited to try, but also scared. i have a thing with bikes, some weird nervous chickenshit craziness. i remember as a kid riding around all the time, tearing up and down the joint like my ass was on fire. more recently i'm a nervous wreck and i guess two disastrous vacations expeditions involving mountain biking haven't really helped to alleviate that.

long intro aside, i finally got into the saddle this afternoon. and, drumroll... it was lots of fun, actually. a bit annoying because there are several big streets around me that bikes aren't allowed on, so i had to figure out some roundabout way to get to jiu guang for some grocery shopping. i tried riding on the sidewalks for a bit, but if you've ever tried walking - let alone riding a bike - on a sidewalk in urban china, well, it's not the best way to alleviate fears. the next concern was theft - my bike is shiny new and white. it literally gleams next to the other stacks of bikes standing by. trevor bought a couple of locks, but they're really more of a deterrent and anyway i'm just a big worrywart.

the impetus behind the bike riding arrived in the form of a fitness plan. i was cruising around on yahoo and somehow landed in the yahoo health section, and started idly reading the various articles and blogs about fitness and nutrition. (all of this as a method of procrastination for studying chinese.) lots of this at this time of year because of those resolutions, i expect, but also the reality is that most people that live in china carry a bit more weight than they do at home so i'm always aware of how crappy my fitness level is these days. it's hard to buy the nonfat yadda yadda or the flax seed this and that here, and most chinese food is oil city. i don't run outside because we are all concerned here about the repercussions of running outdoors in a highly polluted area. when i first arrived, i lost a ton of weight pretty quickly, but that was due to the non-sitting-all day, no-car change of status that my life underwent. i'm now back to the sitting-all-day business, and my gut reflects it. ew. i also took this free diet/fitness assessment where your diet is analyzed not only for calories + fat, but also for your nutrition. i'm think about my diet here a lot because i know how i am - the easiest thing for me to get is new york deli sandwiches (MONSTER MEAT sized, no less, because it would just be too much for me to consider eating in moderation) for lunch, and something fast at night since i get home so late. recently it's been these dried japanese noodles that i can't stop eating. my diet is abhorrent. i bought a big costco bag of raw almonds for snacks, but i also space out meals with crackers and those rice seaweed triangles from family mart. i'm a fast food junkie these days. if it's not ready in under 10 minutes, fuck it!

anyway, i do the yoga classes during the week, but every little bit helps, right?

p.s. the point of this entry was supposed to revolve around a conquering-my-fears theme but it really is turning into c's diet gripes. sorry.

silver bells

man it took me a long time to gain access to blogger tonight. good thing i have work to distract me from the long load times :)

i got some 'comment' from what looks like a german website. may i ask why fools spam your ass in a different language than that which you speak (or in this case, write?). not only are they ignored because they're rude enough to send spam, but they're double ignored because they send german spam. probably latched onto the one german word or phrase i have on here and decided it was worth the risk.

what's new... not too much. decided that i need to learn to stay my ass at home. sherry and i are way too used to calling each other up at the end of the day, or sending 'what time you off???' messages to each other, our secret code language for, 'let's get our eat on!' which ensures both of us spending money we don't need to spend, plus me staying out hella late when i should be jumping my ass on the bus around 8:45 (i rolled in at 10:45 this morning. for the love of god what is wrong with me) in the morning, meaning that i should be asleep right about now. and also it tends to drive this habit of eating really late at night, which is no good for the digestion or the waistline. and though i struggled so much with this last year around xmas, i really AM looking forward to going home next week and hiking with the doggy or running by the ocean. the likelihood is higher this time, esp since my cousin and sister are all gung-ho walkers now. around the lake, in the hills, whatever. i'm going to make them make me do it. i can still fall asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace with my dad and the dog, but this time it needs to be after a long stroll or run. capice?


i am super babbling.

went to a trial mandarin class today. i will start early jan, but i wanted to make sure i liked the institution and the system before committing. survey says... i'm relatively impressed. the lessons ain't cheap, but it is quite professional, and the class i sat in on (only one student) was quite good. the teacher included me in the convo as much as the student, and made me talk a lot. that's good. i need an ass-kicker type to motivate me, or i run all over your ass. additional bonus - it's always a relief to hear a non-shanghainese person speak mandarin. shanghainese-tinged mandarin is a mushmouth, oddly-accented, very confusing sound for the beginning mandarin speaker. i do not lie.


time for bed.