fuck you if you suck

an excerpt of what i just wrote to my friend mhat in an email regarding my current status:

'a somewhat bummed-out almost 29-year old corporate wash up wannabe writer. '

that's me.

[an aside - i have to give credit where credit is due. erik coined the corporate wash up phrase that i found to be so brilliantly self-defining that i had to incorporate it into my identity somehow. because some days it's all i feel like i've accomplished.]

re-discovering something that i learned in college and the reason i never pursued journalism afterwards - i really don't think i'm a journalist. it sucks to pitch article ideas that have to fit into the framework of a business called publishing. you mean what i write actually has to pertain to something? have some sort of relevance to a group of people? that sucks. so here i have committed to a business publication to writing 800 - 1000 words about how china missed their environmental targets in their 5-year plan, and the impact in businesses in china because of this. uh, hello? are you asleep yet? can you believe i pitched that idea to the editor? i can't, either. this from a girl who finds it much more socially impactful to read about a new eyeliner formulation. i can't help it, i'm like professor altieri. my life studies are like walking through the louvre and ending up at the gift shop.

and why the hell is blogger showing up today all in hanzi? i can only make out a few characters here and there. good thing blogger buttons are color-coded so i know which ones to push once this entry is done. beep!

i'm feeling kinda aggro right now, if you can't tell. so even tho i'm not naming names, i want to issue a blanket statement: fuck you if you suck. you know who you are. even if you don't know me, if you're doing something to someone that makes them feel bad, in whatever shape or form, just know that you're creating a little ball of hate for yourself in the universe. visualize a little burning ball of flames, barreling towards you because of something shitty you've said, or some offhand thing you've done and maybe registered on a superficial level that it was kinda selfish or lame but then didn't give it another thought. well, think about it and do something to rectify it. or that ball of flames is going to imbed itself in your face and burn the skin off your cheek, you jerk. and you'll have this raw, meaty, part-blackened portion of your face and everyone will look at you and scream and run away in terror. and THEN how you gonna feel, you selfish turd?!?!

how's this for random - last night i left my heated blanket at a club. no, it's not some encrypted code for something else. i really did leave my heated blanket at a club last night.