sanctuary

i'd decided offhand that tonight might be the night. to have some bevvies, of course. but i came home first and my PIC is sleeping her ass off (again) and i don't have the heart to wake her. plus i said hello to my little friend, ambien, last night and was off my rocker in about 30 minutes (did my entry from last night even make it? i was typing and i swear the world was spinning), and 8 hours later my alarm went off. it felt so marvelous i might just do it again. i hit 3 pm this afternoon and i wasn't doing the nod. there are definitely benefits to sleeping and sleep-inducing drugs and the like.

spent a few minutes chatting with dinx today. nice work reprieve. we got onto the subject of the blog genre; mine, specifically. it's always interesting to hear what people have to say about your subject matter; i've gotten the range from 'you don't really say anything personal' to 'you say shit i don't even tell my best friends.' i guess i just say what i say because it's an expression of how i'm feeling that day or what interesting shit went down or whatev. it's my blog, i like to express what's on my mind... sorta. to be honest, i regulate certain areas with a massive filter. you don't ever hear shit about my personal life, do you? i mean outside of the drinking and falling and recovering and all that. i know there are exes and semi-pseudo exes and etc. that probably scan from time to time, but that doesn't bother me. if you don't want to know, don't bring your voyeuristic tendencies to this site, partner. and, as i mentioned before, i don't give the dirt on things that really matter to me, in that arena. that, rather ironically i suppose, is no one's beeswax but mine.

blogs are funny things. i'm at the mercy of google (my analytics give me about usually around 21 - 35 hits a day, anywhere from 8 to 23 unique viewers a day across 3 continents. i ain't that popular, there aren't that many folks out there that know and love me and read me daily. clearly there are search threads that are coughing up my shit (although only about 20% of my hits are through referral sites, and those are usually - not always - friends' blogs), but aside from keeping full names off-limits (unless i guess you're a celebrity or some shit) i don't try too hard to prevent unfettered access. it just doesn't matter that much - so few people know about this anyway, i'd rather the limited few get to read whatever crap i spew forth at their leisure then get all crazy-paranoid about regulating it. (i'm sure some of you are shaking your head... why waste so much energy spying on people, and then telling them the readouts? eh, probably because i just don't care.)

how can i not have a picture of dinx and me where i don't look like an idiot? how is this possible? i have a ton of pictures of him looking lovely with and without me... esp in rio, where for some reason i had a running streak of the most unphotogenic shit ever goin on. way to go.

i'll settle for a super-idiotic one at a churrasquaria on ipanema. feb 2004, i think. i was like, reigning queen of stupid faces on that trip. but he looks pretty, no? i just like to show off how beautiful my peeps is.

sorry, stinky poop. i guess putting your name (ish) on here makes both you and your image findable. sorta.

how many times can i listen to this blakq audio track? how excited are we (back to my 22 other personalities and me) about their album dropping in less than 4 weeks?! august 14, babies.

on a nice note, my papa sent me an email that consisted of more than 2 lines AND did not contain anything regarding my personal finances. isn't that nice? he also asked if i was still blogging and what my url was. i was caught between laughing and being a little sad.