flying

12/18/2006 2:57 PM

United flight 858. In accordance with new flight regulations, all liquids brought on board by passengers on flights bound for the United States, must be placed in checked baggage. I stuffed my contact lens solution and eye gel into my suitcase (one friend told me about how she was forced to throw her lip gloss away, that gets a hell no for my $36 eye gel) but retained my face wash and lotion, and toothpaste despite threatening signs about carrying such items on board. The tubes are almost empty and I’d like to get off the plane with at least a clean face and teeth. Upon touchdown we’re going to be running around on our day of eating; I can’t be overly crusty. I figured that bottled water was ok, since people can’t be expected to dehydrate on a 15-hour flight, can they?

Oh yes, they can. We were all forced to toss our water bottles before getting on the plane. Stupid, honest me, I should have lied when they asked me if I was carrying water. I can’t believe this policy flies (haha) in the U.S.; we are a people permanently attached to our water bottles, much like to our SUVs and Starbucks cups. As travelers go, I am probably one of the more laid-back: I don’t care where on the plane I sit as long as it’s not in the middle, and I pretty much pass out as soon as I sit in my seat and stay that way for most of the flight, no matter the duration. Most times I completely miss takeoff. But a person’s gotta have free and unfettered access to some sort of hydration. That’s just wrong. There are so many reasons why for me alone – digestive, my permacough, pills I take in-flight – and I consider myself fairly healthy and all that. This is outrageous. Being allotted small plastic cups in random intervals that are apt to either be drained immediately or spilled if not at is not the same thing.

What’s making me more cranky is #1: the valium I popped a solid 40 minutes ago hasn’t kicked in (my first foray into this genre – usually I don’t need any help with in-flight sleep) and #2: I am seated next to the most active couple I’ve ever met. We’re all uncomfortable… but they take the cake on movement count, if you’re the type to count things like that (clearly, I am). You’d think that people so inclined to constant and disruptive movement would have the forethought to book seats in the aisle. They’re gone into the overhead compartment twice already, there have been 2 bathroom visits, and the wife changes positions every 7 minutes or so, jamming her foot over her husband into the window and pushing her back against my shoulder, assuming a semi-crouch in the seat, and now there’s a nose-picking competition going on.

Please, valium. I’m begging you.

4:40:34 PM

Ok, so maybe it’s kicked in… not sure because I always thought it was supposed to knock you out as you roll around, miserable and strung out, in your satin sheets. Like Sharon Stone in Casino. So far I just feel pretty chill and I ate most of my requisite United Airlines meal. I don’t know what it is about food on airplanes, but I have never missed a single meal on a flight I’ve been on. For some reason, I manage to eat nearly everything on my little compartmentalized tray, and I do it every time. A morbid curiosity? I think I’m always anticipating that they’ll taste much worse than they do; they definitely get points on the bland scale, but as far as disgusting rates, I’ve had much worse. However, I don’t get the salad in those meals. I would think that the least offensive raw vegetable form in an airplane meal would be some lettuce and maybe a cucumber or something, but most airline salads tend to be topped with some frightening version of smoked salmon or – in my case – dried-out strips of ham. Why get fancy? Just leave the nutritionally deficient iceberg lettuce alone, resist the temptation to fancy it up with gross processed meats.

The couple has settled down somewhat. The husband is asleep and the wife is busily filling out a survey that will enter each applicant into a sweepstakes that may result in up to 140,000 bonus miles. I read the fine print on the back – they don’t actually specify what the prize is because it’s dependent upon the trip upon which you received the survey. Tricky. Apparently you can also enter the sweepstakes by mailing in a 3” x 5” card, but does that mean you don’t get any miles, because there is no flight for them to base their sliding prize scale? But hell, if that’s keeping them still, I can come up with more paperwork to keep her busy. Here, fill out my departure card. My customs declaration, whatever.

I digress. The reason I am suspecting that the valium is working is because I’ve suddenly chilled out. It took my 10 minutes to butter my roll, and another 5 minutes to send it down the hatch (rolls usually last me about 45 seconds). I seem content to type random complaints on my computer and blast Sarah McLachlan on Itunes. Not feeling sleepy, though.

I wonder if the flight attendants like working this particular flight. I know that fellow Americans – ABCs, mostly, so don’t get in an uproar – are pretty unhappy on primarily-Chinese passenger flights. It has something to do with cramming all of our cultural complaints (the hawking loogs, the amplified-decimal discussions, the nose-picking, the relative disregard for other people’s comfort, such as practicing seat acrobatics) into a very small space. I just saw this man full-on fall on top of the woman next to him, while attempting to reach the air nozzle above. I guess his arms weren’t long enough, but then he used her head as leverage to get back up. I’m going to assume the woman was his wife, but that was still messed up.

I still haven’t gotten down who you need to sleep within order to at least get on one of the Economy-Plus flights (even an additional inch and those footrests make a world of difference on an international flight) but when I do… look out!

We’ve passed Tokyo and Sapporo and are now flying over the open ocean.

Thoughts about the 1.5 month break between semesters? Assuming I take care of the first concern – money – our plan is to head to Vietnam for a week or so. The bummer about this break is that it takes place during the coldest time of year. I’d like to go somewhere in China to see some of the prettier areas or the panda bear refuge or something, but I do this with the heavy knowledge that I’m going to be a frozen-ass popsicle. I might have to recruit Alvin for that one; fairly sure Cyn has seen pretty much what she wants to see of tourist China. Especially during the one big vacation time of the year for the entire country. Want to talk about Christmas rush? Try Chinese New Year…

I didn’t know that the goal for many people on long flights was to remain standing for as much of the flight as possible. I suppose this is probably a good idea when you’re thinking about the physical demands of a long flight, but I’ve always been inclined to stay in my seat as much as possible. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, wandering around the cabin. Do you walk around and make friends? Stare at people who are sleeping? Read over people’s shoulders? Do you walk with existing friends, like being at a very cramped and dark indoor park? The restroom area always seems a little too questionable for me to want to spend long amounts of time near, but maybe this is preferable to playing seat twister with the people next to you.

7:48:21 PM

Someone’s feet smell like vinegar. I mean, I understand the compulsion to kick off one’s shoes on an airplane, especially during a long flight such as this, but I don’t understand the foot funk thing. If you are one of the chosen few who could easily annihilate a population by the simple removal of your shoes, then perhaps it is for the common good that you keep them on. Or engage in the usage of odor-eaters, plus foot powder, plus that prescription available for super sweaty feet-people. I think it’s like anti-perspirant you rub on your feet. Frequent bathing and changing of socks may also help. During one business trip, I remember sitting next to my manager, and someone behind us unleashed the most foul-smelling feet from their confines. The stench literally hit us like a wall, it was like someone had gangrenous feet and then stepped in shit and mixed it all around like he was going to finger-paint. Although my then-manager had much better manners than I and we were surrounded by colleagues, we both exclaimed loudly and with much profanity. It was a knee-jerk reaction. And the culprit didn’t seem to give a shit, so I guess it doesn’t matter.

And fuck, I think I broke my watch. I was going into a mind-warp trying to understand how it could only be 3:45 when we’d clearly been airborne for more than two hours, but also not possibly for 14. Then it stayed 3:45 for too long. On a side note, why is it so difficult to figure out the length of your flight? I always sit and think for like, 20 minutes trying to figure that shit out, and I’m always wrong anyway. I always thought that the flight to SH was somewhere around 14 hours, but departing at 1:45 pm and landing at 8:18 am means that it’s actually closer to… 11 hours. 10 and some change, really. That makes it not that much longer than flying to Tokyo, which I always found to be an enjoyable 9 hours. I think I really just enjoy eating the soba noodles on the plane, but flights to Tokyo are always cool.

And, btw, this valium is bullshit. I’ve gotten more sleep without it on any given flight. I may have countered it with the 2 cups of coffee I’ve had in-flight, but usually that doesn’t affect things. If I had been handed a mystery pill like Neo and had to guess by its effects, I would definitely pick upper. What a disappointment. The blue pill…

I wonder if my typing is bothering anyone. I would be betting no, because you can’t hear it over the roar of the plane. Plus, the 3-year old behind us is making a light show out of the overheads in his row, which I bet is winning over my typing. Remind me next time to fly business class. Oh, and get a job so that I can pay for that… yeah.

I think one of my future business ideas is to start an airline that offers the clubbing room. You could have your passengers strap in to these harnesses that allow for movement, but are secure enough to keep them from hitting the ceiling during turbulence. Plus, the ceilings would be higher since there would be no overhead compartments to worry about. I’m feeling stir-crazy enough that I could easily do a couple hours of ass-shaking just to blow off some steam. I bet this kid behind me would benefit from it, too. I’ve got 50 cent here telling me it’s my birthday… which always makes me want to get up and do something, freak someone, clean the house, whatever. My physiology professor at Berkeley used to say that what airlines should have on planes are treadmills, not seats, to prevent the lymph from collecting in your feet and ankles, causing the swollen feet problem. Lymph depends on muscle movement to circulate, unlike blood which has the heart to pump it about, so if you’re sedentary, then your lymph is, as well. And who wants that?! Treadmills might make the whole safety thing kind of an issue, though. Good try, Professor Diamond.

Four more hours. Neither my Ipod nor my laptop are going to last that long. I may be forced to watch tv while this kid performs a drum solo on the back of my seat. He’s cute but cute only gets you so far. I am really not understanding how twister lady next to me is sleeping through this. She must have grown up in China. I’m convinced that Chinese are immune to taking offense at being jostled, pushed, or stepped on because kids start experiencing it at birth. Parents holding babies are smushed on buses and the metro, and little kids are thrown around like toys, getting pushed and pulled through impossible crowds of people. I would have been scared shitless as a kid, but I always watch them in crowds, and these kids don’t even trip. They’re like, going about their business, just totally used to it. American kids? No way.

I’m friggin thirsty. See what I mean? If I had my water bottle at my disposal, this wouldn’t be an issue. But now there’s turbulence, so not only is typing in the dark a challenge, but one cannot jump out of one’s seat to get water. And one’s only choice of receptacle (small plastic cup) is sure to spill the contents during this turbulence. Maybe I should write the FAA. You’re causing the dehydration of entire populations!

caught between grrrr and brrrrr

feeling cold and restless and exhausted. it's a strange mixture because my most dominant malaise (restlessness) could be easily remedied by going to sleep. but because it's dominant, i tend to override the exhausted part with the restless part and ride out the wee hours feeling discontent. there are parties to go to, so i could quash that feeling, but i spent the evening running about (got home at 10) and it's cold like hell. so right now i'm experiencing emotions like a two year old. don't like what i have and don't want what i could have.

going home in less than two days. i know that my mom is going to hear my barking cough (still sick) and rant briefly about it. either my refusal to rest (just a vicious rumor, i rest plenty) or my life in a polluted city or some monologue regarding how i don't take care of myself will be uttered. i know it. for a mom who prides herself on her relatively laissez-faire, avant-garde approach to parenting, my mom does like to wax poetic about my fictional self-abuse.

shanghai - the expats anyway - seems to shut down around the holidays. i'm sure the locals are plugging away as normal (in fact i was on the subway today so i know they are) but the parties i've been-to-slash-heard-from are pretty dead. most have left for their home countries or are getting ready to, we're guessing.

one to add to the list of pros for not going out - last night's smoke-a-rama contest going on between this girl lena (whose going-away we crashed even though we were only introduced that night. i've seen her at other parties tho) and this guy next to me is thankfully absent. i thought for a while that lena was blowing her nasty-ass smoke on me last night, but after observing, she just smokes so much that it drifts everywhere, no matter where she blows it or where you're seated. i hate smoking more than ever here.

what is a hobby?

define it.

to me, hobbies are knitting and scrapbooking and collecting stamps and other things that remind me of middle-aged women in turtlenecks and l.l. bean skirts (unfair stereotype, i know).

i always sit and stare at the 'my profile' part of various services (friendster, this blog, whatever) and wonder what to write. i don't decoupage or crochet. i feel like the things i do in my spare time can't truly be called hobbies. working out? snowboarding? yoga? all activities, in my book, not hobbies. eating? i find that falls under 'activity' as well. reading? writing?

sammi listed out a few things that he thought my hobbies consisted of: drinking, swimming, snowboarding, beating people (wait, i think that was actually 'kicking ass'), salsa dancing, and eating. pretty close, i think, except for kicking ass and swimming. i would like to beat people sometimes. mostly when it's early morning and i'm forced to deal with public transportation and people who have really dirty dandruff-y hair that place themselves really close to me and wear black blazers. oh yeah, and people who have halitosis. i don't care, man. take care of your shit. floss and listerine and do whatever. just don't breathe in my friggin face. and yawn with abandon. that's so wrong. oh, and also people who walk slow at the transfer station and like, cut in front of you and decide to start sms'ing or reading their stupid newspaper. it'd be like whack-a-mole.

jin fu virus

alvin and i joke that when someone has a case of insomnia, like yours truly right now, that he or she has a case of the jin fu virus. alvin's chinese name is huang jin fu, and he's becoming notorious for not being able to sleep at night. check him out: http://alvinwij.multiply.com/

once morning arrives, say anywhere from 5 to 8 AM, he seems to sleep fine, but it's those darker hours that he's awake and unable to settle. i understand that; it seems so much more desirable sometimes - and productive, for me - to be awake and writing at night. writing during the day makes you feel the heaviness of unemployment - something seems too quiet and wrong about it. you should be making lunch plans or be stressed out or something. typing busily on a computer or cradling your phone, or both simultaneously.

i have to be up in 5 hours to leave for class. this isn't funny. i downed a melatonin a good 30 minutes ago... i think that because i'm naturally inclined to stay up until around 4 AM, letting myself indulge this tendency for the past week has really messed my body clock up. i was in bed around midnight, wondering why i wasn't already asleep. i'm normally an immediate fall-asleeper, something that i think was annoying for past boyfriends but is damn skippy to me. in my thoughts, i covered subjects varying from thinking about what shoes i'll be bringing back from the states to whether i should go to yoga tomorrow to flashbacks of the weekend.
it doesn't help that i'm getting sick again (what they say about your first year in china seems to be proving true - you're sick a LOT) and for some reason it settled immediately in my chest, and seemingly, my lungs. not much in the way of congestion but lots of coughing and hacking. it makes for not so good sleep. i'm extra dependent on the inhaler these days.

i think a lot about going home and what it will be like. one thing is definitely going to be jarring - the lack of capital. i have a list as long as my arm for things i want/need to bring back; mostly grooming items like real Q-tips and my favorite shampoo and contact leans cleaner, but also need to bring back some serious warm clothes and some requests from the girls here. we as women are product-starved: cindy wants a stila lip gloss like mine, linda wants the c.o. bigelow lip stuff like mine, etc. etc. i also have a rather substantial kiehls order waiting for me to be brought back. how am i going to christmas shop with no money? and almost as importantly, no discount like i've had for the past 6 years? this'll be weird. running to banana and buying cashmere was always a last-minute, reliable gift cop-out, but that's not going to be an option now.

i also wonder if the homesickness is going to kick in once i land on my own turf. my sister and cousin have already planned a 'day of eating' starting the minute i arrive. we head to tartine to meet up with shawn, whom i haven't seen in over a year, and it goes from there. burritos in the mission or at los hermanos, oysters at the ferry building, i'd like to squeeze in an everything bagel egg mitt if i possibly can. is my odd emotional suspension going to end once all of my familiar things are around me? my cat, my family, the general civility of being home? i guess we'll just have to see. i have a feeling that my natural cheapness will kick in here - a survival instinct forcing me to process that everything i do at home costs about 5 times more than it does in china with the exception of starbucks (HOW do they do that? stupid brand marketing) and yoga classes.

on a girly note, i hope i'm not going to gain back any of the weight i've lost here - i'm just starting to figure out how my clothes fit (i.e. everything i brought to china is a little big). those damn joe's jeans i spent a fortune on are now kinda baggy. my body is beginning to look more like it used to... i'd like to keep it that way. i'm going to see how bikram compares at home... and maybe go running if my back holds up ok. i don't know if these measure will hold against the day of eating and likely several more of those.

the end of cwspeak..?

**warning - old post from monday, december 4, snatched from cwspeak**

hello hello?



so the story is this - i am able to access squarespace now, but since i've gotten started on blogger again and blogger is free... i'm inclined to stay with it and cancel my squarespace subscription. thoughts? blogger is actually more dependable for me and faster to use, but i do like some of the squarespace features. plus, blogger is free and squarespace is not. for those of you who read this regularly, is there any preference? i hate switching back and forth like this - it's the OCD part of me that needs to have all my entries lined up in order on one source - but as the foreigners here like to say, i hit the 'great firewall of china.' hard and fast.

other than that, just doing my thing, enjoying being single and without obligations. hehe. i've been pretty good about going to class, but not with studying this week. i feel like i'm kinda getting into a groove, socially at least, and really enjoying just living here and meeting people and exploring the boundaries of my own personality. i hung out with a friend today, which was interesting because i've been really tentative about hanging out with him, afraid of creating a situation where attachments (not mine, necessarily) could be formed. but he's moving back to austria next week so i thought, well, fuck it, we can just hang out - i always have fun with him and like him as a person. and it was cool, despite my reservations. i'm not consciously trying to cast aside my own personal precautions, but wanting to think less and do more. if there's anything i can be rightly accused of, it's overthinking. i think we covered that a few entries ago. i've always been really wary-slash-hyperconscious of situations that could potentially be date-like. but, honestly, what's bad about spending time with a person that is generally good and interesting and just proceeding on the plank of positive intent? doesn't mean i need to hook up with that person or feel obligated in any way.

one of the things about shanghai - which i've been discussing w/ alvin - is that it's so incredibly easy to meet someone on any given night. if you wanted to, every time you went out you could meet someone and go home with him/her. most of the people i know (single ones anyway) are juggling like, 2-3 potentials at any given time. i think this is a good thing, it's a great thing, but sometimes i feel like shaking myself and seeing if this is real. for me, this comes at a good time - i don't want to be serious about anyone now, i feel like taking sips of different samples is right about my speed right now. anyhoo.

Posted on Monday, December 4, 2006 at 01:54AM by

like, whoa

**warning: old post from sunday, december 10, snatched from cwspeak**

so it's cold now. i officially live in a cold place. being in the bay area doesn't really impact you much in terms of weather; rainy days suck but there are very few times where you step outside a door fully 'rugged up' in a coat and scarf and the wind still takes your breath away. today was a relatively vicious day in terms of cold weather and i understand the popularity with boot-like footwear. i was sporting these silver ballet slipper deals from the night before (don't ask) and every millimeter of uncovered skin was immediately apparent. remind me to find a solution for evening footwear that doesn't involve stilettos (not good in china, not good in rain) and fully covers the foot. boots, i guess.

i didn't leave myself much recovery time from the night before so the evening started off rather sleepily. christoph's going-away was tonight and i finally got to view the famous apartment; famous primarily for the unsightly turquoise pleather sofas and the disco-esque lighting in the living room. the apartment itself, to my surprise, was nicely habitable. furniture aside, it's a relatively new building with what looks like perfectly suitable accomodations (besides the hideous furniture). the problem with renting is that you are at the mercy of the landlord when it comes to decor. you can either be fairly lucky - we are - and be equipped with neutral ikea-like furnitre and dark wood accents and floors, or you can escape with really horrible chinese-inspired decor. there's a reason china is not the forefront in home fashion, or any fashion, for that matter.

the party was nice - plenty of food and drink, and good company. we decided to head out around midnight and ended up at logo. logo is a divey bar near school that is low-key and plays good music. i started off completely sober but ordered a beer, then someone kept ordering rounds of b-52s so what was supposed to be a low-key evening in recovery from last night turned out to be another dizzy night. i was so sleepy that i started to doze to the reggae playing over the speakers, clearly announcing time to go home. and yet i'm here past 4 AM blogging.

off to bed now - we have brunch at 'the kitchen' tomorrow, then off to the fabric market to fix my coats. i'm excited for some warm gear, although i'll be home in a week and pawing through my boxes of clothes.

Posted on Sunday, December 10, 2006 at 03:59AM

useful things

every rainy day i'm reminded of this - chinese people be loving them some plastic bags. it's kinda strange or maligned to me in a country where toilet paper is not considered a 'must' in most public restrooms that plastic bags are so esaily and widely available. walk into any mall and there's a plastic bag dispenser to dump your dripping umbrella into, most breakfasts are steamed buns and warm soy milk carried around in a tissue-thin plastic bag distributed by the steam house where purchased, and at the malatang (spicy soup) place we go to, they serve up your noodle soup in a bowl lined with a plastic bag.

i was somewhat puzzled by the umbrella thing in the beginning - my cheapo umbrella came with its own little pouch which to me signifies that you use said pouch to more neatly and color-coordinatingly carry your wet umbrella... but i have since misplaced the matching pouch and do the plastic bag thing if i must. i prefer to let it drip most of the time just to be a contrarian.

i still don't understand why my mom always carried around at least one or two plastic bags in her immense purse when we were growing up. i mean, they came in handy when she and dad took their two very motion-sickness inclined children on long road trips, but carrying one around at all times? i don't get it.

other fun uses i've noticed for plastic bags - in shower cap form which you wear over your shoes when entering someone's house (replacing the need to completely remove of the shoe), to stuff into the opening of your odd arm-warmer type item worn partially over the hand to the elbow (strangely these are usually printed with some sort of american football team logo - the lady at my campus cafe wears greenbay packers arm warmers), as a way of carrying all your worldly possessions. today, a man boarded the bus carrying two enormous plastic bags (think of what the woven sacks of rice are made of) and a bamboo pole.

expat thanksgiving

i have to agree with david sedaris on this one - the term, 'expat,' is widely used but rather confusing. i have never been much of a 'pat,' and adding an 'ex' to that just makes it more inaccurate. rather, the americans out here can be more aptly called 'citizens living abroad' or something like that. i guess the name is just too long, so expats we are... but it's just a strange term. i conjure up images of enthusiastic flag-waving and top hats and - strangely - the civil war.

yesterday cyn and i hosted our first thanksgiving. we made the whole thing - brined the turkey, made the stuffing, candied the yams, mashed the kartoffel... it turned out really well for our first one. i'm proud of us, and it was nice to have that holiday food prep here. kinda makes you realize that the holidays are here, because mostly i don't have any reminders of holiday stuff during my daily routine. part of why i feel that i'm so content here is because i just don't have anything here that reminds me of home and therefore prompts any sort of homesickness. it's like being on an extended vacation mode - quasi-student, definitely broke, but doing what i want, when i want, mostly.

we had alvin over, and mike from school, jody, and ulf. truthfully i spent most of the week preparing for this dinner. most of my apres-school activities involved procuring either food or tools for the preparation. to our knowledge, there are 2 places in shanghai that you can buy a turkey - both western supermarkets. i managed to find cornmeal for the cornbread stuffing, which i was starting to get a little desperate about - it's my dad's staple and my favorite - and we even found friggin marshmallows for the yams. the only thing was the cranberry sauce; i ended up getting lingonberry jam from ikea, which did the trick. they're pretty similar.

of course, we ended up playing drinking games and we got really smashed. i, uh, lost my dinner and passed out on the sofa for like an hour or two, and everyone else kept drinking except cyn, who was cleaning up and making jook. sigh.

i think cindy is voguing here?


one of the drinking games consisted of blowing cards off of the top of a bottle. we spent several hours on this one.


did i mention several hours?


alvin and mike waking me up after my nap. i was feeling much better. once a cheap date, always a cheap date.