breakfast: coffee with milk
mid-morning meal: honey nut cheerios
lunch at 3 pm: about four tablespoons of black beans, a rice bowl of honey nut cheerios
dinner: hopefully a proper meal
being busy for the past two weeks has meant that our pantry (also known as the single shelf in our miserably small kitchen) has dwindled down to opened snack food packages that i refuse to throw away, 1.5 bags of dried pearl barley, some old rice noodles and a can of tomato soup i'm saving for a real food emergency. alright, alright, we also have a small tetra-pak of coconut cream, granulated honey, a package of japanese-style curry sauce, and about a teaspoon of oatmeal in a re-sealable that i also refuse to throw away. not sure why.
i even went grocery shopping yesterday, expanding our vittles by a 2.5-kilo bag of brown rice, a can each of sardines and anchovies, dried black beans, a bottle of sesame oil and some vegetables. oh, and a small foil pack of cheddar-cheese flavored snyder's pretzel pieces that i ate out of my bike basket while waiting for a light to change on my way home. (they were out of honey mustard.) oh, and obviously, a box of cheerios.
when grocery shopping consists of me and my two feet or my two bike pedals approaching either a local chinese supermarket whose inventory strangely appears to be composed of 35 percent snack food items, OR an extremely overpriced expat imported food market that may or may not have certain staples you saw there last time, you tend to shop light. there's also a wet market two blocks away, where i can find pretty much any chinese vegetable or fungi and an assortment of live fowl in addition to nosefuls of extreme stink and filthy puddles all dimly lit in some weird, dark concrete compound. some days i just give up and eat a fried egg over rice. sometimes i get really ambitious and hit up no less than FIVE fucking markets to find a chicken breast. it all depends on how much i want a damn chicken breast (not that much, but chicken thighs are mysteriously absent in the chinese local food economy) and what my blood sugar levels are like and how much cash i stole from t's wallet that morning. so if i find some sort of employment soon, it'll be interesting to see what kind of meals we end up eating on a daily basis.
we americans (soapbox alert) have no friggin idea how much our country is a goddamned BOUNTY of food. we have food inventory until the sun comes down. remember the last time you had to visit TWO safeways to find what you wanted? or safeway and trader joe's? remember how irritating that was? remember climbing into your car to pursue that food item?
[sidenote: if i could import one american business to china, it would be trader joe's faster than you can down a small paper cup's-worth of their latest frozen roasted-vegetable-over-quinoa entree. i miss quinoa. i miss frozen green chile and cheese tamales. i miss peanut butter without hydrogenated oil.]
ok, so i inadvertently turned this into a bitchfest, but what i really thought, initially, as i looked down at my rice bowl half-full of chinese "cheerios" that are so sugary they appear to be shellacked, was, damn. i'm so glad i bought these cheerios yesterday. i've had two servings! i feel rich!
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Friday, August 07, 2009
BINGO!
on saturday late afternoon, my sister and i went to see our grandma at the home. saturday late afternoons are actually a terrible time to visit because she plays bingo, and she will ignore the hell out of your ass for some bingo. bingo is grandma's favorite thing to do these days, even though she doesn't know it and will totally forget she played about a minute after the cards are cleared from in front of her. she will actually go so far as to deny that she plays bingo, and then make a face like you're fucking crazy, sort of implying that bingo is for utter losers and she has always played bridge.
so we show up in the middle of bingo, and of course she barely looks up even though she hasn't seen me for three weeks - although what does she know about that, silly me - and my sister and i settle in for some boring-ass bingo times. then someone yells out, BINGO! and we look over and a gaggle of CNAs (employees) are not only playing bingo, they're winning! on top of that, the weekend activities lady we refer to as the placid cow for IQ and appearance reasons trods over there with the tray of prizes and gives them prizes. and top of THAT, they are actually taking these sad prizes, these little tokens that make the residents' day. LAME.
this was too much. not only are these juvenile-ass employees playing bingo against a boatload of senile old people, but they are playing against senile old people who live to play bingo and are now taking prizes? oh hell no.
so of course i go up to placid cow and say, "i really don't think employees should be winning. i don't think you should be giving them prizes. this activity is for the residents and they're at a disadvantage." my sister, of course, jumps in and adds her two cents, and the placid cow gets flustered and starts flapping around and braying, "I DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED! I'M NOT GETTING INVOLVED!" to which we say, "we'll get fucking involved, lady. those CNAs are playing against senile old people and its not fair." we had at this point noticed that the CNAs had a few prizes in front of them, meaning that they had basically been winning all afternoon. the placid cow trods back to the CNAs, and under the guise of telling them to fuck off, actually says, "i need to check your numbers!" then discovers that they don't actually have bingo, but it's too late because she's already handed prizes out to them. see why we call her placid cow? i should call her dumbass for short.
the kicker about the whole thing is that the CNAs were only about ten feet away and placid cow lows very loudly, so we could hear that she didn't tell them to scram, but instead said something totally random. not sly, lady. not everyone has the IQ of a lamp post, try and remember.
i wouldn't normally say shit to how people do their jobs, especially people who clean diapers and shit (literally) for a living, but we pay this fucking facility eight grand a MONTH to take care of our grouchy old lady and she needs to win her ass some bingo. sorry, CNAs, you're going to have to go and actually do your jobs now and stop whooping on old folks at bingo and winning saran-wrapped sugar cookies, bananas, and tangerines.
the additional component to this sad tale is that grandma usually wins since she is one of the more alert residents and we always find little packets of cookies hidden in her fleece jacket pockets, or a bag of animal crackers on her dresser. sure enough, the last game was BLACKOUT and grandma won that shit and chose some cookies, which she immediately tried to give to my sister. since saturday, i've retold the story to my parents and now that i'm up at four thirty in the morning, i am deciding that i'll tell the weekday activities director, whom i'm guessing is placid cow's boss. i'm not kidding myself into thinking that placid cow will be fired or even reprimanded, or that the CNAs will be told to cut it out, because this is a nursing home and shit is always retarded. it must be hard to find idiots to pay to call out bingo numbers. but seriously, someone needs to let the staff know that their employee is a fucking idiot. at the end of the game, placid cow walks over to me and says conspiratorially, "you know, i think they were just trying to trick me. i went and checked their numbers and they didn't actually have the right numbers." um, what? duh. why are you telling me this? to look more like an idiot? you don't think i already fucking gathered that? jesus.
so it's 5:13 am and i woke up at 3:30 and started ranting about bingo in my head. i got up a few minutes ago to type it out and eat some maple + brown sugar mini wheats. and now i should try and get some sleep. it's fucked up that i only spent three weeks in asia and i am so brutally jet lagged. i was still jet lagged in asia, which for me stands to reason that i should have adjusted to being home fairly quickly. guess not.
so we show up in the middle of bingo, and of course she barely looks up even though she hasn't seen me for three weeks - although what does she know about that, silly me - and my sister and i settle in for some boring-ass bingo times. then someone yells out, BINGO! and we look over and a gaggle of CNAs (employees) are not only playing bingo, they're winning! on top of that, the weekend activities lady we refer to as the placid cow for IQ and appearance reasons trods over there with the tray of prizes and gives them prizes. and top of THAT, they are actually taking these sad prizes, these little tokens that make the residents' day. LAME.
this was too much. not only are these juvenile-ass employees playing bingo against a boatload of senile old people, but they are playing against senile old people who live to play bingo and are now taking prizes? oh hell no.
so of course i go up to placid cow and say, "i really don't think employees should be winning. i don't think you should be giving them prizes. this activity is for the residents and they're at a disadvantage." my sister, of course, jumps in and adds her two cents, and the placid cow gets flustered and starts flapping around and braying, "I DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED! I'M NOT GETTING INVOLVED!" to which we say, "we'll get fucking involved, lady. those CNAs are playing against senile old people and its not fair." we had at this point noticed that the CNAs had a few prizes in front of them, meaning that they had basically been winning all afternoon. the placid cow trods back to the CNAs, and under the guise of telling them to fuck off, actually says, "i need to check your numbers!" then discovers that they don't actually have bingo, but it's too late because she's already handed prizes out to them. see why we call her placid cow? i should call her dumbass for short.
the kicker about the whole thing is that the CNAs were only about ten feet away and placid cow lows very loudly, so we could hear that she didn't tell them to scram, but instead said something totally random. not sly, lady. not everyone has the IQ of a lamp post, try and remember.
i wouldn't normally say shit to how people do their jobs, especially people who clean diapers and shit (literally) for a living, but we pay this fucking facility eight grand a MONTH to take care of our grouchy old lady and she needs to win her ass some bingo. sorry, CNAs, you're going to have to go and actually do your jobs now and stop whooping on old folks at bingo and winning saran-wrapped sugar cookies, bananas, and tangerines.
the additional component to this sad tale is that grandma usually wins since she is one of the more alert residents and we always find little packets of cookies hidden in her fleece jacket pockets, or a bag of animal crackers on her dresser. sure enough, the last game was BLACKOUT and grandma won that shit and chose some cookies, which she immediately tried to give to my sister. since saturday, i've retold the story to my parents and now that i'm up at four thirty in the morning, i am deciding that i'll tell the weekday activities director, whom i'm guessing is placid cow's boss. i'm not kidding myself into thinking that placid cow will be fired or even reprimanded, or that the CNAs will be told to cut it out, because this is a nursing home and shit is always retarded. it must be hard to find idiots to pay to call out bingo numbers. but seriously, someone needs to let the staff know that their employee is a fucking idiot. at the end of the game, placid cow walks over to me and says conspiratorially, "you know, i think they were just trying to trick me. i went and checked their numbers and they didn't actually have the right numbers." um, what? duh. why are you telling me this? to look more like an idiot? you don't think i already fucking gathered that? jesus.
so it's 5:13 am and i woke up at 3:30 and started ranting about bingo in my head. i got up a few minutes ago to type it out and eat some maple + brown sugar mini wheats. and now i should try and get some sleep. it's fucked up that i only spent three weeks in asia and i am so brutally jet lagged. i was still jet lagged in asia, which for me stands to reason that i should have adjusted to being home fairly quickly. guess not.
Monday, July 27, 2009
stupid maya
So, yesterday included some random misadventures par for the course here in Shanghai. My friend Sherry that has been housing me for the past two weeks left for Seoul early yesterday morning and before doing so, ensured that I would be up to no good by signing T and I up for a photo shoot at a fancy restaurant, Maya. Lured by the promise of endless free drinks and fish tacos in exchange for some posing and smiling, I unwittingly sent out smses to my other nearest and dearest, encouraging them to stop by one of their favorite joints for drinks and food while watching me and T make utter fools of ourselves. And fools we were.
The amateur-hour theme of the photo shoot was not surprising. This is, after all, Shanghai, where every amateur is given his/her own fifteen minutes of fame and, if particularly enterprising, can extend it to a full hour. But three hours, five weak margaritas, and about two metric tons of chips and salsa (the “canapés” we were promised) later, we were starving, glassy-eyed with awkwardness and boredom, and ready to punch someone in the face. I had somehow gotten other friends dragged into it, friends who were in good faith just coming to Maya to hang out on one of my last days and wanted only some form of taco or chorizo or cheesy item to gnaw on while doing so. God. After the last shot (a long-table, romantically-lit banquet dinner where people apparently keep napkins folded on top of plates and eat only chips and guac), we were told that the kitchen was now closed and we could feel free to finish all the chips on the table.
What the fuck?! I don’t even get one stinking taco out of this mess? Eff all of you to hell. There are a lot of things that I will do for food, which apparently includes cajoling and berating my boyfriend into dressing in “smart casual” and accompanying me to Most Awkward Situation Ever née Most Irritating Experience I’ve Had For a While, then obligating my friends via Guise of Free Drink to participate as well, but to then be fed only small trough by small trough of tortilla chips accompanied by ridiculously shallow containers of salsa?? RUDE. Eff you again. Don’t tell me I’m getting canapés when I am in fact getting Shanghai versions of the jumbo Costco bag of Mi Tierra chips and Kool-aid versions of margaritas. I don’t want to see you again, particular in a dark alley while I just happen to be carrying those aforementioned items, which may or may not be jammed down your gullet while the words, “FEEL FREE TO FINISH THE CHIPS AT THE TABLE” are being screamed into your ear.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
sfo to hk to sh to broke
omfg. i keep saying that. over and over. i am lit from within, and by that i mean raging. mad. angry. flummoxed. frustrated. ridiculous!
communication style in chinese families goes like this: (uncle to cousin-in-law to me) hey, i told your mom about the price of the plane ticket, so it's already booked, ok?
and i get the itinerary in my inbox and it's about 3x as much as i want to or can pay. !)!(@#$^%&%(#)#! WTF? wait, WHY? how does this happen? i call my mom and ask her if they talked to her about a plane ticket. she says, yeah, they mentioned something about 3000 HKD. wait, so why am i now booked on probably the most expensive ticket from hong kong to shanghai? it's a 2 hour flight! it's costing me nearly as much as my flight from san francisco to hong kong! how does this happen?
oh, if only the answer was simple. it has to do with my mom's birth positioning (oldest of seven), my language barrier, my black sheep uncle who does whatever the hell, my cousins' deference to him for whatever reason, and so on. for the love of friggin GOD. now i'm paying $456 USD for a 2-hour flight. and without any consent on my part. and without any money on my part. and if i complain, everyone will get offended. why do i do this to myself? i should know better. i'm just going to blame myself because there's no one else here. my mom told me on the phone, "well this is your situation so you deal with it. i'm hanging up now. bye" i had thanked her sarcastically for her help navigating her crazyass family and it didn't faze her a bit. "you're welcome. ok bye." THIS is why i never tell her anything. THIS is why i do things myself. THIS is why i moved halfway around the world. my people is crazy! crazy crazy crazy. and now i'm $456 in the hole. what the hell.
anyone want to hire me?
communication style in chinese families goes like this: (uncle to cousin-in-law to me) hey, i told your mom about the price of the plane ticket, so it's already booked, ok?
and i get the itinerary in my inbox and it's about 3x as much as i want to or can pay. !)!(@#$^%&%(#)#! WTF? wait, WHY? how does this happen? i call my mom and ask her if they talked to her about a plane ticket. she says, yeah, they mentioned something about 3000 HKD. wait, so why am i now booked on probably the most expensive ticket from hong kong to shanghai? it's a 2 hour flight! it's costing me nearly as much as my flight from san francisco to hong kong! how does this happen?
oh, if only the answer was simple. it has to do with my mom's birth positioning (oldest of seven), my language barrier, my black sheep uncle who does whatever the hell, my cousins' deference to him for whatever reason, and so on. for the love of friggin GOD. now i'm paying $456 USD for a 2-hour flight. and without any consent on my part. and without any money on my part. and if i complain, everyone will get offended. why do i do this to myself? i should know better. i'm just going to blame myself because there's no one else here. my mom told me on the phone, "well this is your situation so you deal with it. i'm hanging up now. bye" i had thanked her sarcastically for her help navigating her crazyass family and it didn't faze her a bit. "you're welcome. ok bye." THIS is why i never tell her anything. THIS is why i do things myself. THIS is why i moved halfway around the world. my people is crazy! crazy crazy crazy. and now i'm $456 in the hole. what the hell.
anyone want to hire me?
Monday, May 04, 2009
what happened to the simple things
no more pure enjoyment of twitter for its random thoughts and artful observations. it's sad, but it's typical. you can't be part of something as successful as twitter without it turning into a useful marketing tool for shit like the diet-fucking-evaluation-council-dot-fucking-org who is following me because i mentioned how much water i drank today. so fucking american.
#disgusted
um, so
i've got a million-dollar observation.
when things seem bleak in your own life, when you are too tired or too sad to even think about moving forward, don't watch that show on A & E, Intervention.
i mean, jesus christ. i am watching a family that was torn apart by a daughter's abduction, rape, and murder, which resulted in, amongst other things, another child's severe drug addiction. add to that the mother's decades of grief and enabling, and it's just the most depressing shit ever.
i guess on one hand you can be grateful that you aren't the one heading down to the crack house to sell yourself for sixty bucks. driven by your fiance.
that elusive silver lining!
ugh. i feel like i need a shower just watching what people do to themselves.
when things seem bleak in your own life, when you are too tired or too sad to even think about moving forward, don't watch that show on A & E, Intervention.
i mean, jesus christ. i am watching a family that was torn apart by a daughter's abduction, rape, and murder, which resulted in, amongst other things, another child's severe drug addiction. add to that the mother's decades of grief and enabling, and it's just the most depressing shit ever.
i guess on one hand you can be grateful that you aren't the one heading down to the crack house to sell yourself for sixty bucks. driven by your fiance.
that elusive silver lining!
ugh. i feel like i need a shower just watching what people do to themselves.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
let's take a moment (warning: rant)
very happy about most of last night's results, not only because of the historic nature of the major event, but also because for this event, we chose the candidate whose intellect, temperament, and unifying message were what we actually needed, not what was marketed down our throats.
however, to be a total downer, would like to draw attention to california voters, who approved by 52.2% to 47.8% the ban on gay marriage, effectively worded to define marriage as between one man and one woman.
the bored busybody segment:
on a superficial plane, i just don't understand why those (who aren't part of the religious aspect of the debate) care whom marries whom. don't agree with same sex marriage? then don't marry someone of the same sex! otherwise, mind your own business!
this segment of the gay-hating population remind me of a psychotic mother of one of my schoolmates (warning #2: a long-winded story), who absolutely loathed me for reasons i can only postulate on. one guess is that i dated her daughter's ex-boyfriend after he broke up with her. another is that she was a racist fucking bitch. and yet a third is that she had frustrations about her own personal failures AND was a racist fucking bitch. anywho, she befriended the mother of my best friend, and actually wanted to brainstorm with her on how to get me out of the picture. i think that's actually how she worded it. this weirdo wanted her own daughter to be best friends with my best friend. (actually, i think she actually wanted me to be killed, but that's just my take.) thankfully, my best friend's mom declined the invitation to brainstorm, but this insane woman could frequently be found sidling into our teenaged activities, trying to be the 'cool' mom who hung out with teenagers (? that's another issue altogether. see? i told you she was nuts). regardless, she was some nosy-ass weirdo who imposed her insane mental delusions where they did not belong, and made me ask myself, "why are there people out there so bored that they act crazy? why don't these people go and get jobs and work their asses off like my parents, who don't have time to attmept to engineer relationships between 16-year olds? why can't she use her time constructively, like volunteering at a shelter, or start smoking bomb and roasting chickens to satiate her munchies, or doing something more interesting with their time?" so my take on one portion of the prop 8 supporters is that they are fucking busybodies who need to get a fucking life and stay out of everyone else's.
the jesus freaks:
the major segment of same sex marriage opponents cite religion as the reason. i read that churches fear that prop 8's failure to pass will force their religious institutions to recognize gay marriage in their church, and will prevent them from disallowing gay marriage ceremonies. this makes me wonder about their core beliefs on homosexuality. i want these people to clearly state for me what you think of homosexuality (from where it stems, why people are gay, and etc.) and then answer my questions below:
however, to be a total downer, would like to draw attention to california voters, who approved by 52.2% to 47.8% the ban on gay marriage, effectively worded to define marriage as between one man and one woman.
the bored busybody segment:
on a superficial plane, i just don't understand why those (who aren't part of the religious aspect of the debate) care whom marries whom. don't agree with same sex marriage? then don't marry someone of the same sex! otherwise, mind your own business!
this segment of the gay-hating population remind me of a psychotic mother of one of my schoolmates (warning #2: a long-winded story), who absolutely loathed me for reasons i can only postulate on. one guess is that i dated her daughter's ex-boyfriend after he broke up with her. another is that she was a racist fucking bitch. and yet a third is that she had frustrations about her own personal failures AND was a racist fucking bitch. anywho, she befriended the mother of my best friend, and actually wanted to brainstorm with her on how to get me out of the picture. i think that's actually how she worded it. this weirdo wanted her own daughter to be best friends with my best friend. (actually, i think she actually wanted me to be killed, but that's just my take.) thankfully, my best friend's mom declined the invitation to brainstorm, but this insane woman could frequently be found sidling into our teenaged activities, trying to be the 'cool' mom who hung out with teenagers (? that's another issue altogether. see? i told you she was nuts). regardless, she was some nosy-ass weirdo who imposed her insane mental delusions where they did not belong, and made me ask myself, "why are there people out there so bored that they act crazy? why don't these people go and get jobs and work their asses off like my parents, who don't have time to attmept to engineer relationships between 16-year olds? why can't she use her time constructively, like volunteering at a shelter, or start smoking bomb and roasting chickens to satiate her munchies, or doing something more interesting with their time?" so my take on one portion of the prop 8 supporters is that they are fucking busybodies who need to get a fucking life and stay out of everyone else's.
the jesus freaks:
the major segment of same sex marriage opponents cite religion as the reason. i read that churches fear that prop 8's failure to pass will force their religious institutions to recognize gay marriage in their church, and will prevent them from disallowing gay marriage ceremonies. this makes me wonder about their core beliefs on homosexuality. i want these people to clearly state for me what you think of homosexuality (from where it stems, why people are gay, and etc.) and then answer my questions below:
- do you believe that being gay is a mindset? that it is a result of watching too much tv or reading the devil's work or playing video games or hanging out with heathens?
- do you believe that people can be de-programmed of their homosexuality?
- do you believe that people are intentionally choosing to occupy a portion of the population that is discriminated against and continuously harassed? against whom there are violent acts every day? who are beaten to death in numerous countries as a matter of religious expression? why do you think a person would subject him/herself to this instead of taking the easy 'n straight road? you think they just enjoy a good challenge?
- how does one rid oneself of gayness?
- would you disown your child if he or she was gay? refuse to see him or her again?
- bonus question: didn't god preach tolerance and forgiveness above all? don't most of you believe that the big jc got nailed to a cross and then forgave the people holding the hammers? did he withhold this forgiveness from the gay hammer-holders? does he only love his straight followers?
- bonus + question: regardless of whether you bigots believe that a person "chooses" to be or is born gay, do you realize that you support stripping citizens of their civil rights? that they should not be allowed to do what straight couples can do in legalizing their bond for social recognition or legal protection?
- bonus ++ question: what do you think of willa cather, ellen degeneres, rock hudson, abraham lincoln, elton john, harvey milk, kevin spacey, william burroughs, tobias wong, jodie foster, david sedaris, alan cumming, queen latifah, james baldwin, beth ditto, sheryl swoopes, tom ford, k.d. lang, annie leibovitz, cole porter?
Saturday, August 09, 2008
3 showers a day. cold.
i'm feeling slightly disgusted with the media hype about the 5-ring circus. there are hella foreigners here! who the hell was talking shit about all the denied visas? wait, that was me. well, i should know better than to listen to the hype. although i guess trevor had a nightmare of a time getting his visa extended to a pathetic july 15. they must've kicked out all the dj types scraping by on F visas in between visits to hong kong every 30 days and replaced them with a shitload of smiling faces and happy families, because that's all i'm seeing on the street. i barely see chinese people. in a city of 17 million, that's saying something.
i finally watched american psycho. i never really wanted to see the movie, mostly because i'm a culture snob and prefer to read the book over seeing the movie while sticking my nose in the air, but also because christian bale weirds me out. i'll have to get over that when i go home and see batman, but meanwhile... i don't know if it was the msg-laden (leaving in a month! gotta bone up on msg before i leave!) dumplings we had for dinner, but that movie was making me feel dizzy and ill. and it wasn't nearly as nasty as the book.
who knows.
it's thundering like a mother outside and i hope the weather clears up for tomorrow's brunch 'n pool session. we've grabbed about 8 friends, rented a van, and are heading to le meridien on the outskirts of shanghai for the all-you-can eat brunch and pool usage.
i should start a new section for the shit i'm about to dive into (pun intended).
here we go.
ahem.
pools in china (where the fuck is the underline function?)
are either dirty or have about 100000000000000000000000000000 people in them. i am not fucking kidding you. see pic below of madhouse fake beach pool thing called dino beach in shanghai (totally ripped the photo from the sh municipal government page, sorry), aka hell on earth. therefore it stands to reason that any decent pool in shanghai is closely guarded by strict-ass, borderline ridonkulous regulations for entry. normally sherry and i circumvent the workout aspect of pool access by going to jill's place, which has a clean 50 m pool, usually fairly empty. still, we had to promise our first born children to gain access. but for the summer, all of us americans want that vegas pool party, strawberry daiquiri, my-flag-is-up, hawaiian tropics kind of pool thing. and we are sadly deprived.
so we hatched a plan, resourceful vitamin d-hungry alcoholic girls that we are. tomorrow we are going to le meridien, boondocks version (vs. the one centrally located), and will plunk down rmb 318 for free flow beer and wine (including sparkling, you know that got my ass on board) and all you can eat, which in shanghai usually includes beijing duck, foie gras, dim sum, and sashimi. plus you get all day access to an actual outdoor pool. i am not sure how the mosquito thing will work out, but i'm bringing my 7% deet. i suspect it will be super crowded and less than clean, but shit, don't know till you try, right?
*end rant*
jesus, my place is being blown to pieces. and now its pouring rain. this shit better clear up before we leave tomorrow.
i'm normally happy about getting a little bit of color, but i'm kinda eh about getting darker in my old age. is it the whitening products endlessly marketed in asia finally getting to me? doubtful. i went and became one of those people that burns a lot after my teenage years. it's the weirdest thing. the minute you go and stop swimming outdoors year round, you turn into a differently-complected person. my dad was kind enough to point out that i was 'really pale!' when he came a-visiting. thanks, dad. i would have felt strangely insulted about that in my younger day, but now it's kinda like, meh. i work inside all day. it happens.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
ain't trying to hate
"Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints members left the courthouse on Thursday after a ruling in their favor in San Angelo, Tex." (unabashedly ripped from the ny times, both image and copy.)
...but i mean, damn. if any sect told my ass that i would have to sport THOSE outfits and that HAIR, i would immediately tell them to get lost. pound sand. stop freebasing. get real.
sometimes i wonder if general guidelines for life can't be at least somewhat based on the rules of fashion? like, when crazy people dressed like this tell you that you are going to be the 4th wife of some old fat fart and your 12-year old daughter is going to be married off to some beer belly crazyman, you take one look at the getups they're sporting and the warning signals go off.
right?
Friday, February 08, 2008
and me, incredulous
i have been accused, more than one or two times, that i speak condescendingly, that i am patronizing and arrogant. my usual response (mentally) is that i can't help it if everyone around me is stupid. sometimes i'm not kidding, sometimes i am. i don't necessarily think that everyone is dumb, but i do think that most people suffer from not-paying-attention-itis, which gets complicated when i am and i expect that you were, as well, so when i go on to start a lively discussion about what just happened, or what happened three hours ago, or what happened six months ago, i am frustrated when met with blank stares.
this is quite frustrating.
i also usually remember, verbatim, what so-and-so said during an argument or conversation. it really doesn't matter to me if the conversation was three years ago or three minutes ago; usually if i remember a conversation, i remember it and that's that. so it puzzles me when people aren't the same way, or worse, they start arguing in contradiction to what they were arguing about previously. i don't understand how you can have an opinion about something to the point where you are representing one side of a debate, and next time 'round you suddenly do the 'ol switcheroo and are on the other. that doesn't work in my world. does not compute.
i have also never really understood mainstream feminism (this is going somewhere, i promise. bear with me). i studied feminism in college, and found it baffling and alienating because of the rage and divisiveness in the rhetoric. it seemed unreasonable and self-limiting. this may be why i make a damn poor activist. i remember one girl in a social movements class, taunting some guy who didn't understand some point or another about cesar chavez, but making it a gender-based taunt. something about him being a man and life being so easy because of it. it seemed unnecessary, forced, and honestly a bit beside the point. to be filled with that much rage about him being a guy and being somewhat lame didn't fulfill a purpose. moreover, cesar chavez was a man. so what the fuck?
that said (wait for it...), i am finding that the older i am, and the more experience i have with interacting with the opposite sex, that i am starting to draw broad conclusions about the simplicity and somewhat low-IQ behavior of most dudes. sorry, guys, it blows my mind as well. i actually found myself on the verge of shouting, 'what you don't know could fill a book!' i am turning into that girl in my lecture.
seriously, tho. i am met with behaviors that make me want to beat my face against the wall and make those 'donk donk donk' noises. the gender divide just gets wider and wider the older i get. is it me? i know i had a hard time accepting that i was a girl for maybe the first 25 years of my life, but that was mostly because i had and have a thing about emotions, and expressing them, unless it included rage or ego. emotions were for girls, so count me out. but the older i get, the more i learn about guile, and the more i associate it with females, and the more i understand that guys don't have a goddamned clue. you could club them over the head with the reason that their ex-girlfriends thought for 11 months that they would be getting back together and still get the blank stare. some even have the nerve to argue.
pshh. please. i am surrounded by fools.
this is quite frustrating.
i also usually remember, verbatim, what so-and-so said during an argument or conversation. it really doesn't matter to me if the conversation was three years ago or three minutes ago; usually if i remember a conversation, i remember it and that's that. so it puzzles me when people aren't the same way, or worse, they start arguing in contradiction to what they were arguing about previously. i don't understand how you can have an opinion about something to the point where you are representing one side of a debate, and next time 'round you suddenly do the 'ol switcheroo and are on the other. that doesn't work in my world. does not compute.
i have also never really understood mainstream feminism (this is going somewhere, i promise. bear with me). i studied feminism in college, and found it baffling and alienating because of the rage and divisiveness in the rhetoric. it seemed unreasonable and self-limiting. this may be why i make a damn poor activist. i remember one girl in a social movements class, taunting some guy who didn't understand some point or another about cesar chavez, but making it a gender-based taunt. something about him being a man and life being so easy because of it. it seemed unnecessary, forced, and honestly a bit beside the point. to be filled with that much rage about him being a guy and being somewhat lame didn't fulfill a purpose. moreover, cesar chavez was a man. so what the fuck?
that said (wait for it...), i am finding that the older i am, and the more experience i have with interacting with the opposite sex, that i am starting to draw broad conclusions about the simplicity and somewhat low-IQ behavior of most dudes. sorry, guys, it blows my mind as well. i actually found myself on the verge of shouting, 'what you don't know could fill a book!' i am turning into that girl in my lecture.
seriously, tho. i am met with behaviors that make me want to beat my face against the wall and make those 'donk donk donk' noises. the gender divide just gets wider and wider the older i get. is it me? i know i had a hard time accepting that i was a girl for maybe the first 25 years of my life, but that was mostly because i had and have a thing about emotions, and expressing them, unless it included rage or ego. emotions were for girls, so count me out. but the older i get, the more i learn about guile, and the more i associate it with females, and the more i understand that guys don't have a goddamned clue. you could club them over the head with the reason that their ex-girlfriends thought for 11 months that they would be getting back together and still get the blank stare. some even have the nerve to argue.
pshh. please. i am surrounded by fools.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
some chick got hitched
cyn's looking at photos of a high school friend's wedding. it's funny to scroll through and see all the goofing around people do at weddings. this is much more fun than admiring the bride or the groom or flowers or whatever the hell else. mostly it's because we're sort of irreverent about the couple; i assume if you actually care about the people getting married, you pay a little bit of attention.
i think i'm lucky to be 29 and a girl and not really feel anything about getting hitched. i assume that when you meet the right person and you're ready emotionally, than you proceed accordingly. my mom's forceful reminders that she would like to see me knocked up as quickly as possible are unrelated to my unmarried status. she advises that i should just have kids out of wedlock. nice, mom. since i'm unemployed, now is a stellar time to think about kids.
no one in our close circle of friends is married, or even engaged. not even close, last i checked. we're all 28-31, happily bopping along: several in b-school, one doctor, one just finishing an MPP, a couple of slackers (me), one ph.D in comp lit, one in biotech, one architect, a lawyer, a couple kids running their family businesses. everyone's dating or whoring or something in between. once one falls, a few others will go quickly. it's inevitable. i am not looking forward to that day, although i'm not necessarily opposed to it, because i assume it will mean that one of my very good friends is really happy and is about to get happier. so on that rather simplified level, i can accept.
i mean lucky because i'm not there yet, and i don't want to wake up one day and feel like i need to be someplace i'm not. i've never been a goal-setter when it comes to things like that, and i get almost infuriated with societal pressures on women who hit 30. i have known far too many women who have become consumed with the idea that they're shitty, terrible, inadequate, lacking something, whatever, because they're over 30 and still single. i think it's bullshit. being single is not worse than being married, and is certainly not a negative reflection on anyone. if you're a lovely person in general, than chances are you're still lovely, regardless of age and ball-and-chain status. my aunt got married for the first time in her 50s, and she's giddy as all hell. everything in due time.
i had a boss, my first job out of college, who would refer to herself frequently as a 'spinster' and would sprinkle her conversation with self-depracating comments about how no one wanted her and that she was washed up. she even had a blown-up cartoon taped to her wall of a skeleton sitting on a bench, holding a purse, with the caption, 'waiting... for the right man.' i think she scarred me for life. i'd honestly never met anyone who so openly hated her life or herself, and it was friggin scary.
my mom doesn't pressure me about marriage. i'm not sure why, but i appreciate it. a lot of my girlfriends' moms do, openly, and sometimes not in a nice way. the whole grandkids thing is weird to me, coming from my mom. she's not particularly maternal, but i guess she does like to play with babies. i always thought, as a child, that my mom was too busy for her kids, but now that i've emerged somewhat from that petulant, self-involved childhood bit, of course i realize it was all for us. she's resorted to blackmailing my sister and i into having kids, but we don't succumb. she's instilled in us more strength than to fall for a silly trick like that. she's probably kicking herself now.
in other news... today spent spiraling in randomness. went and checked out the last dance studio on the list, so now i can sit my ass down and actually go about writing the article. met up with steph and her friend janet at a random art showing on fuxing lu. we spent about 45 seconds looking at the paintings and 1.5 hours drinking the free wine on the terrace. went over to 3 on the bund and strolled through the gallery on the third floor, where the art and the wine were much better. stalked the waiters and bumbled around the space, admiring some of the cooler pieces. met some intense fashion photographer named jeremy, who weirded steph out to the point where she excused herself to stare at a painting more closely. went to the weird place in the basement of 5 on the bund that replaced number five and had some fairly crappy bar food. albert and scott and a visiting friend joined us, then we headed to a rather outstanding yakitori place on shimen at nanjing.
instead of heading to pirates with everyone else, i elected to come home to drop off the laptop and change into something less daytime than a jersey skirt and my reefs. predictably, i'm still parked on the sofa. i don't have it in me to go all the way to xujiahui by myself to inhale lungfulls of smoke and drop another few hundies on drinks and taxi.
volar last night was lovely. really. nice scene, nice people, perfect cocktails, and you can't complain about the decor. but the cigars were killing me. there was one point when every inhalation felt like i was barbequeing my cilia. i could visualize the nice and healthy-pink tissues in my trachea withering and turning gray-black. ugh.
i think i'm lucky to be 29 and a girl and not really feel anything about getting hitched. i assume that when you meet the right person and you're ready emotionally, than you proceed accordingly. my mom's forceful reminders that she would like to see me knocked up as quickly as possible are unrelated to my unmarried status. she advises that i should just have kids out of wedlock. nice, mom. since i'm unemployed, now is a stellar time to think about kids.
no one in our close circle of friends is married, or even engaged. not even close, last i checked. we're all 28-31, happily bopping along: several in b-school, one doctor, one just finishing an MPP, a couple of slackers (me), one ph.D in comp lit, one in biotech, one architect, a lawyer, a couple kids running their family businesses. everyone's dating or whoring or something in between. once one falls, a few others will go quickly. it's inevitable. i am not looking forward to that day, although i'm not necessarily opposed to it, because i assume it will mean that one of my very good friends is really happy and is about to get happier. so on that rather simplified level, i can accept.
i mean lucky because i'm not there yet, and i don't want to wake up one day and feel like i need to be someplace i'm not. i've never been a goal-setter when it comes to things like that, and i get almost infuriated with societal pressures on women who hit 30. i have known far too many women who have become consumed with the idea that they're shitty, terrible, inadequate, lacking something, whatever, because they're over 30 and still single. i think it's bullshit. being single is not worse than being married, and is certainly not a negative reflection on anyone. if you're a lovely person in general, than chances are you're still lovely, regardless of age and ball-and-chain status. my aunt got married for the first time in her 50s, and she's giddy as all hell. everything in due time.
i had a boss, my first job out of college, who would refer to herself frequently as a 'spinster' and would sprinkle her conversation with self-depracating comments about how no one wanted her and that she was washed up. she even had a blown-up cartoon taped to her wall of a skeleton sitting on a bench, holding a purse, with the caption, 'waiting... for the right man.' i think she scarred me for life. i'd honestly never met anyone who so openly hated her life or herself, and it was friggin scary.
my mom doesn't pressure me about marriage. i'm not sure why, but i appreciate it. a lot of my girlfriends' moms do, openly, and sometimes not in a nice way. the whole grandkids thing is weird to me, coming from my mom. she's not particularly maternal, but i guess she does like to play with babies. i always thought, as a child, that my mom was too busy for her kids, but now that i've emerged somewhat from that petulant, self-involved childhood bit, of course i realize it was all for us. she's resorted to blackmailing my sister and i into having kids, but we don't succumb. she's instilled in us more strength than to fall for a silly trick like that. she's probably kicking herself now.
in other news... today spent spiraling in randomness. went and checked out the last dance studio on the list, so now i can sit my ass down and actually go about writing the article. met up with steph and her friend janet at a random art showing on fuxing lu. we spent about 45 seconds looking at the paintings and 1.5 hours drinking the free wine on the terrace. went over to 3 on the bund and strolled through the gallery on the third floor, where the art and the wine were much better. stalked the waiters and bumbled around the space, admiring some of the cooler pieces. met some intense fashion photographer named jeremy, who weirded steph out to the point where she excused herself to stare at a painting more closely. went to the weird place in the basement of 5 on the bund that replaced number five and had some fairly crappy bar food. albert and scott and a visiting friend joined us, then we headed to a rather outstanding yakitori place on shimen at nanjing.
instead of heading to pirates with everyone else, i elected to come home to drop off the laptop and change into something less daytime than a jersey skirt and my reefs. predictably, i'm still parked on the sofa. i don't have it in me to go all the way to xujiahui by myself to inhale lungfulls of smoke and drop another few hundies on drinks and taxi.
volar last night was lovely. really. nice scene, nice people, perfect cocktails, and you can't complain about the decor. but the cigars were killing me. there was one point when every inhalation felt like i was barbequeing my cilia. i could visualize the nice and healthy-pink tissues in my trachea withering and turning gray-black. ugh.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
diethylene glycol
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/06/world/americas/06poison.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin
some shit just blows your mind. even for this country. selling barrels of antifreeze instead of glycerin so that thousands of people die around the globe? parents feeding their kids what they think is cough syrup and it's actually an industrial chemical? fucking awesome.
i understand wanting to make some money, but this is absolutely revolting. it goes beyond profit, this is a singular and aggravated disregard for human life in the most evil form. if ever i will this country to burn to the ground, this would be why. fuck the olympics and the cheap exported goods and movable type and gunpowder and silk. how can a civilization that led the way in progress throughout history sire such a pathos?
from the article:
bold type is my own addition:
"In China, the government is vowing to clean up its pharmaceutical industry, in part because of criticism over counterfeit drugs flooding the world markets. In December, two top drug regulators were arrested on charges of taking bribes to approve drugs. In addition, 440 counterfeiting operations were closed down last year, the World Health Organization said.
so note here that the government is 'vowing' (which they seem to do a lot of) to clean up their act because of the criticism they are facing, not because it is morally wrong to ship barrels of poison and sell it as a consumable product. not because you are essentially guaranteeing death. not because lives of people you don't know matter. nope. that would be facing the issue and perhaps shouldering some sort of responsibility.
*gasp*
within the expat community here, there is constant discussion of getting this country 'caught up' to the pace of westernized countries. although i do sometimes employ this rhetoric, i also partly disagree with what it implies - that the differences between the 'east' and the 'west' are due to the 'east' being behind in progress. on some levels, i disagree. my dislike of the service i get in restaurants and the fat gobs of loogies being hawked and the filthy hair and long dirty fingernails and getting shoved on the metro is based on what i am used to. i'm a westerner... plus spitting spreads disease. china is filthy and disgusting sometimes, but can also be completely amazing. at the foundation of all that i find amazing is its history, and i disagree that china should start working immediately towards 'western' mimicry. it should find its way by proceeding on the plank of its own history and culture.
but FUCK, it really needs to understand certain things. call them western, call them whatever the hell you want.
and a major note to any pharmaceutical companies importing raw goods from here - test the fucking hell out of your shipment.
some shit just blows your mind. even for this country. selling barrels of antifreeze instead of glycerin so that thousands of people die around the globe? parents feeding their kids what they think is cough syrup and it's actually an industrial chemical? fucking awesome.
i understand wanting to make some money, but this is absolutely revolting. it goes beyond profit, this is a singular and aggravated disregard for human life in the most evil form. if ever i will this country to burn to the ground, this would be why. fuck the olympics and the cheap exported goods and movable type and gunpowder and silk. how can a civilization that led the way in progress throughout history sire such a pathos?
from the article:
"When at least 88 children died in Haiti a decade ago, F.D.A. investigators traced the poison to the Manchurian city of Dalian, but their attempts to visit the suspected manufacturer were repeatedly blocked by Chinese officials, according to internal State Department records. Permission was granted more than a year later, but by then the plant had moved and its records had been destroyed.
“Chinese officials we contacted on this matter were all reluctant to become involved,” the American Embassy in Beijing wrote in a confidential cable. “We cannot be optimistic about our chances for success in tracking down the other possible glycerine shipments.”"
blatant and inexcusable disregard.bold type is my own addition:
"In China, the government is vowing to clean up its pharmaceutical industry, in part because of criticism over counterfeit drugs flooding the world markets. In December, two top drug regulators were arrested on charges of taking bribes to approve drugs. In addition, 440 counterfeiting operations were closed down last year, the World Health Organization said.
But when Chinese officials investigated the role of Chinese companies in the Panama deaths, they found that no laws had been broken, according to an official of the nation’s drug enforcement agency. China’s drug regulation is “a black hole,” said one trader who has done business through CNSC Fortune Way, the Beijing-based broker that investigators say was a crucial conduit for the Panama poison."
so note here that the government is 'vowing' (which they seem to do a lot of) to clean up their act because of the criticism they are facing, not because it is morally wrong to ship barrels of poison and sell it as a consumable product. not because you are essentially guaranteeing death. not because lives of people you don't know matter. nope. that would be facing the issue and perhaps shouldering some sort of responsibility.
*gasp*
within the expat community here, there is constant discussion of getting this country 'caught up' to the pace of westernized countries. although i do sometimes employ this rhetoric, i also partly disagree with what it implies - that the differences between the 'east' and the 'west' are due to the 'east' being behind in progress. on some levels, i disagree. my dislike of the service i get in restaurants and the fat gobs of loogies being hawked and the filthy hair and long dirty fingernails and getting shoved on the metro is based on what i am used to. i'm a westerner... plus spitting spreads disease. china is filthy and disgusting sometimes, but can also be completely amazing. at the foundation of all that i find amazing is its history, and i disagree that china should start working immediately towards 'western' mimicry. it should find its way by proceeding on the plank of its own history and culture.
but FUCK, it really needs to understand certain things. call them western, call them whatever the hell you want.
- because there are 1.3 billion people in this country does not mean that lives are worthless.
- lifting of censorship and providing fundamental education to all citizens will only serve to prevent more diethylene glycol massacres, not that the sky will fall.
- ridding the government of corruption and cronyism will only benefit the people and will perhaps serve to more evenly distribute the current and highly skewed ownership of wealth and power.
- align the government's constant propaganda about bettering the country with what will actually make the country better, i.e. safer.
and a major note to any pharmaceutical companies importing raw goods from here - test the fucking hell out of your shipment.
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