Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts

Sunday, June 20, 2010

possibly said today

"and, jesse, where's he?"

"yeah, where is jesse?"

"he's drumming."

"drumming?"

"oh. still doing that?"

"yeah, drumming. with a cardboard tube on a... box. and miaowing."

"drumming and miaowing out the window."

"i see."

"he's just so good at it, the miaowing."

Saturday, May 15, 2010

driving at night

jesse and i decided to go and get popeye's at 10 tonight. then we decided he should learn to drive a stick shift, which he did. and so we had late-night driving and chicken eating, giggling all the while.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

last night

"so then steve jobs is back."

"yeah, he's back."

"what about that other one, the fat one?"

"steve wozniak?"

"yeah, him."

"he's not around. but he was on dancing with the stars!"

[laughter]

"no way."

"totally. and my sister saw him rolling down the embarcadero on a segway!"

[extremely raucous laughter]

"shut the fuck up! only in san francisco, i swear."

Thursday, April 30, 2009

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



waaaaaaaaaay too funny. the cuchini! solves those pesky camel toe problems. you must see the celebrity photo gallery and WATCH THE VID. trust me. it's way too worth it.

Friday, April 24, 2009

so i was standing in line one day...


photo credit


wow, feels funny and great to be using blogger again. i'm beginning to HATE my other web publishing service. hate hate hate. anyhoo.

i had a funny experience yesterday. funny as in laugh-out-loud, funny ha ha. i was standing in line at the kaiser pharmacy, which happened to be my second successive day to be both at kaiser and in line at this particular pharmacy, and was minding my own business, hum dee dum, checking out the assortment of supplements and tummy aides and whatnot. la la la. so i get up to the front of the line and wait for the next available cashier, and happen to get the same guy that rang me up the previous day. i notice these things, but not everyone does, so i make it a practice, dexter-like, to not let my somewhat creepy observational skills out of the jar, lest someone take it offensively, or worse, flatteringly. so the cashier looks at me and says, "oh, you're stuck with me again today."

"oh, haha, yeah, i guess. i like to hang out at kaiser every day." (me, beginning to suspect that this guy didn't notice me because of his hyper observational skills.)

"yeah, i thought that was you in line, but i wasn't sure. i was going to tell you to just come up to me and not wait."

"oh, that's nice, but i don't mind waiting." (me, now certain that this guy rifling through my bag of prescriptions thinks i'm cute.)

and THEN, my new friend pulls out the three-month supply of birth control in my bag and whispers confidentially, "hey, do you need this right away?"

"um, huh? uh, i guess not." (what the fuck in hell? i am too confused to get indignant.)

"well," (still whispering), "i can save you $10 if you fill it through the mail instead of taking it home today."

"oh, cool. yeah let's do that." (kind of relieved - he's just trying to hook a girl up - and kind of knowing on another level that most people would find this invasive and i'm not those people but probably should be.)

"alright i gotta cancel this order and re-enter it..." blah blah the rest fades from memory. but you catch my drift. i thought it hilarious (trevor didn't seem to agree) that some dude was totally commandeering my prescriptions and getting all intimate with my shit. i mean, i guess he IS the cashier at the pharmacy, but it's not like he works the door at a club i want to get in to. you should - for the benefit of people not like me - maintain this facade of pharmaceutical professionalism even if you're handling someone's wart cream or whatever the hell, pretend like you don't know what it's for even though you do, pretend that you don't see it or don't care. i was just happy to have saved $10 and have a friend with questionable lines of professional conduct at the pharmacy, but that's just me. and we all know about me.

[side note: i know better than to jump in line in oakland. you would get called out by everyone from the seven year old in a cast to old grandma ethel waiting for her precor refill. you either have to have an invisible cloak or just had a huge pair of cojones and a thick hide to get away with it, and i have neither.]

Friday, January 23, 2009

morning news



one of the things that never fails to make me laugh hysterically (and irreverantly) is kim jong-il's fucking HAIR. he made news today for finally showing his frail, thinning-hair head along with the rest of him to some chinese officials. i decided to use this photo of a younger despot, when his perm was full and vivacious and no doubt had rainbows and unicorns running through it. oh, but they were emaciated and starving rainbows and unicorns, let us not be distracted by the fabulousness of his big perm to remember that he is one evil crazy fuck.

it struck me this morning, looking at the little 'ol frail thing he has become (and after watching christopher walken in a view to a kill last night) how it is fairly amazing that a single (and small in stature, too) individual can grow to assume so much power and breed so much fear so as to command death and destruction over entire countries. regions, even. fear is a powerful tool and kind of does a lot of your tyrannic footwork for you.

anyways, i won't start. in reading the paper this morning and seeing how old this fucker is getting (plus that rumored stroke), i'm hoping for the north koreans that the power handoff to his son will eventually wane and they'll be free to do as they will, soon. like, eat a whole bowl of rice each. is obama rubbing off on me? feeling optimistic for our oppressed north korean friends. oh, and the congo, too. i hope this morning's news bodes well for them.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

inaugural goofiness

my sister is flying out to DC today to join in the inaugural festivities. she and her friends actually have tickets to THE event on tuesday. pretty awesome, eh? she called me from the airport to ask if i wanted any souvenirs - apparently my dad requested an inaugural yoyo, which he saw god knows where. i searched for inaugural souvenirs online and couldn't find any yoyo, but plenty of other goofy shit:





inaugural hot sauce


inaugural bobble head figure





obamas in pajamas x 1000 applications = shirts, jammies, hats, mugs...





seriously?



again, seriously?


an inaugural fan

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

um, just something funny

http://www.nonchalance.org/

i just linked from sherry's blogroll and i have no idea what this website is about or who does it, but i found the randomness to be hilarious.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

hilarious

some of the best copy i've read in a while. oh yeah, and they sell products. all 2 of them:


http://www.helpineedhelp.com/bored/