ok, so maybe some people are right

so, my tribe (with few exceptions) consists of drum-beat worshipping, morning-growling, daylight-stomping coffee drinkers. i have never apologized for my coffee addiction; quite the opposite, i reveled in it. i celebrated it. i mocked people who did not understand its seduction.

makes your heart palpitate? excellent, it's working! jittery and unfocused? pthhhh, a noob. can't sleep at night? that's why people invented ambien!

oh, so glib.

after hell and back in six days without coffee, i jumped (ok, we all know me better than that. i probably slogged) out of bed at the crack of noon and joyously (alright, inscrutably and unemotionally) poured water from the brita into my coffee maker's water well. i carefully measured (i.e. dumped unceremoniously) peet's italian roast into the gold mesh filter. i hit "start," cackling and rubbing my evil hands together.

i knew my clean, fresh, innocent-pink bodily system should probably start off slowly, so both of my two cups were one-third soy milk. and here i sit, heart palpitating,

jittery and unfocused,

and likely unable to sleep for another 82 hours.

fuck.

i knew this morning that coffee probably wasn't necessary. i even considered tea. but the thought of abandoning my rite of passage into adulthood, my personal vice and source of solace, my morning ritual of reassurance was too much to bear. i had to start up again. no one was going to lead me out of the territory on a sled in the dead of winter and abandon my old ass to die alone. i'm a heart-thumping, hand-shaking, wild-brained warrior in this tribe.

detox days 3, 4, 4.5

eating to feel full. that's what just germinated in my gerbil brain as i sat down and tucked into a bowl of not un-delicious but somehow un-soul satisfying vegan lentil soup (lentils, onion, olive oil, tomatoes, vegetable broth).

that's what detox does for me. it unhooks my need for taste and karmic satisfaction from eating. when detoxing, i eat to fulfill bodily demands, not because i want to eat it or it's particularly interesting or tantalizing. i stop when i am full, which is a feat the unscaleability of which i cannot accurately express.

today, which is day 5, i woke up feeling alert for the first time since saturday. alert and with greatly reduced back pain. days 3 and 4 were defined by what i can only describe as crippling back pain. i spent over an hour last night stretching and downward-dogging and forward-bending in an attempt to ease the tension, which seemed to draw from the base of my spine and spider around my hips into my belly. leaning into the pain made it so acute i became nauseous. trev insisted that i stop this detox foolery and spend tomorrow in pursuit of a hamburger, and see the doctor. i insisted back that's i'd made a big pot of uninspiring lentils and was not about to waste it.

i'm glad i was able to name what it does, these seven days of torture.

detox day 2

photo by Su-Lin

i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee.


that said, i'm feeling a bit better now than i was for most of the day. might have to do with the 90-minute nap that randomly took hold of me this evening. i closed my eyes due to the caffeine-withdrawal headache, and suddenly it was almost 7 and i had nothing in the hopper for dinner.

this afternoon, i went to the school and spoke to the new students coming in this semester along with fellow students, and on my way back i kept forgetting that i was detoxing and considering dinner options:

"maybe i'll get a gyro."

doh!

"hmm, maybe i'll get sandwich."

doh!

"damn. i guess it's $*#%)^& quinoa again."

tonight i mixed it up and made this recipe, again from the best veg blog ever. brown rice instead of quinoa, yay. lots of garbanzos for protein, and i swapped in kale and artichoke hearts instead of asparagus. i also skipped the dressing and squeezed lemon over everything instead, which turned out quite yummy.

my dessert, if you can call it that, is a small glass of soy milk. and half a peach. i'm actually craving chocolate, which is rare. i'm not really a chocolate person.

from past experience and reading, it seems that day 2 is the toughest. last time i did this, day 2 was headachy and it just got worse from there. i'm hoping this time i'll be energetic starting day 3, like a lot of people say.

the thing that is striking to me is that i'm not eating stuff that i wouldn't ordinarily eat. i actually do eat quinoa with some regularity, and i eat brown rice exclusively, if i'm cooking at home. it's just that between those meals i have nice options like... noodles, eggs, a pork chop once in a while.

detox day 1

photo by Heather Ingram

so, it's that time again. no meat, dairy, caffeine, eggs, refined anything-time. this is partially tipped off by my three weeks at home, spent mostly eating and enjoying myself and my family and friends. i was actually pretty active during the three weeks, managing to hike, run, swim and even lift weights. i also just started to feel the need for a change, maybe because of the change in seasons? i'm not sure. i know i have been craving sweet potatoes and kale, which has got to be the weirdest craving i've ever had.

and... a couple of things happened in a row, namely: #1, i have eyes in my head and clearly i am not at my most svelte, and #2, those eyes in my head saw what the numbers said when i got on the scale in my mom's bathroom (i'm too broke and gypsy-like to have a scale).

so, off i go.

today was the first day back in the chi, so i went on an extensive grocery trip that involved the asian market and trader joe's. i managed to buy about 5 bags of groceries (mostly produce) from the asian market for $40. i managed to spend $65 on two bags at TJs. typical.

breakfast: oatmeal, peppermint tea
lunch: tofu, spinach, broth (lazy girl's soup)
dinner: quinoa, kale, tofu, roasted tomatoes, a recipe from one of my favorite food blogs

my fridge is stuffed full of chard, kale, spinach, tofu, grapes, peaches, cabbage, carrots and various non-dairy milks. i'm giving almond milk a shot. i also bought beans and quinoa up the ying yang for its protein.

i also bought the chicago groupon for this place. i'm curious to see if raw food is as nasty as it sounds.