donezo

presented my last, "seminal" piece of work for my master's program this afternoon. it was well received. my class is a mixed bag of documentary students and long-form magazine-style writers. i am neither. i squeaked into the class because i decided that one of my majors - i had two - wasn't worth a damn, so i dropped it and took this class instead.

if you want to get an idea of what we writers in the class were striving to do, read something written by katherine boo, formerly of the new yorker, or hanna rosin, an editor at the atlantic.

i'm going to be pitching my story to a magazine after the holidays are over. it's sort of my meal ticket, or a big break, if i get published, but i understand that it's a bit of a long shot. a feature-length story by a very green writer... hmm.

so our presentation today consisted of full screenings of all four documentaries (each around 20 minutes in length) and the 10 stories written by the long form writers. we only read excerpts. i was the second person to present, which was lucky, because we still had a full house at that point, and people were still awake. four hours later, not so much. most everyone that wasn't in the class had bounced (could you blame them? four unrelenting hours, no breaks) and the people that were there were completely saturated.

i went and drank a pitcher of 312 afterward with my good friend amy, her roomies and a couple of people from the program. the idea was that our whole class was supposed to go for drinks, but of course being journalists we just dissipate and do our own thing. MBA students we are not. by drank a pitcher i mean we each had a pitcher's worth of beer, not that we split one. this is the midwest, after all.

so now i get to pack up my life yet again, and deploy boxes to the four corners of the earth. i'm beginning to think i don't have the right to own anything. i also can't sleep and have a headache from the beer. i took a melatonin and hope to be sleeping soon.

i can do it, i can do it

reaching the home stretch in the re-write of the story that has dominated my last quarter. i mean literally dominated, because it's my master's thesis, in a way. it's the journalist take on a master's thesis. the last step in my professor's 10-step re-write guidelines (eight of which i have ignored) is to open a blank document and re-write the entire fucking thing without cutting and pasting. i've reached the last section and i just had lunch in order to give myself the mental energy to do this shit. it's been a solid three hours of concentration, which for me and my gnat's brain (thanks, internet!) is a goddamned miracle nowadays.

it's moments of mental clutter and exhaustion that i wish i was religious or that i meditated or some shit. i have crap for tools to clear my head. i feel like i need an energy injection right to the brain. if i was religious, i like to think, i could just get down on my knees and pray for some sort of brain cleaning. i've actually tried to pray, not today but some other time, and my mind wandered and i felt like an ass speaking quietly in my mind to someone that doesn't exist to me. i've also tried to meditate, but that shit was harder than hell and i think i'd rather just finish my story then have to try that again.

so i went and did the closest thing - boiled some water and made some strong, plain black tea. that'll clear the shit out of the frozen trader joe's pizza flavor i have in my mouth, at least. let's hear it for the final push!

argh. help.

and so it happens

all of your older girlfriends, or perhaps more experienced girlfriends, tell you that there's always one person that likes to rain on your parade during a happy event. let's say a recent engagement of marriage. there's always one comment that girds the goat, and even though it usually comes from a person who has less than you in some way, that comment festers.

i can't say that i'm easily bothered by bitchy comments. i like to think it's because i don't hang out with bitches, which helps reduce the likelihood of biting remarks, and so therefore i have a lot less occasion to be confronted with shitty comments. once in a while, though, one sneaks through, and even though you know all about it, this canon of the bitchy engagement news comment, and fully anticipate who the comment-giver might be, it still sucks when that person delivers it.

why? why doesn't anticipating the shittiness and who the shit-delivery person will be negate the crappiness of the message?

all around, you can kind of sense people's emotions when you tell them your news. let's continue with this example of an engagement. there are the friends that flat-out ignore you, there are those who are overjoyed, as you are, there are the really awesome friends and relatives that do fun things with you like ring shopping and dress trying-on and only match your excitement with theirs. and then there are those whose carefully measured responses make you wonder why they're disappointed, and those who just fling evil offhand. it's crazy, how people react, the range of reactions you might get. if a person can say with certainty that no evil has ever been flinged towards this grinchy friend, doesn't it make you wonder how she hasn't once thought about how such statements would be interpreted? and isn't that just a fucking shame?

ladiesbug my ass

photo credit here

the flippin weirdest thing happened yesterday. i was on my way to class, around 1 p.m., just walking on a typical autumn day, leaves falling, overzealous kellogg kids running my ass over on the sidewalk, busy networking or whatever the fuck they do, when something on my exposed collarbone pinches, and i look down at the same time as i reach to see what it is, and a fucking LADYBUG has just bitten the shit out of me, and then flits off into the sunlight.

what the FUCK? since when are ladybugs mean? i didn't run through a meadow of ladybugs and disturb its habitat or anything. if anything, it should've bitten those obnoxious kellogg students, not some innocent-though-stupid medill student who's going to make shit for a living after shouldering massive amounts of debt.

i mean, really. that ladybug was pissed. i have a welt, now. and more importantly, i'm puzzled. should i expect ladybugs to be menacing from now on? they are the one species i won't smash if it's caught in my habitat or on my person, but damn, if they're going to go around biting folks i might have to re-think that.

go giants!

watching game 6 of the NLCS championships (GO GIANTS!) for those of you living under a rock during the past week or so.

also, eating cookies that i just baked, reading back issues of the Times that i missed this week (i stack them up if i don't get through them and read them later. do you do that?), blogging and researching a paper due monday.

an actual paper, not a story.

i find that when i have lots of time to myself, i like to do about 47 things at the same time, each pleasurable in their own way, or mandatory by way of school.

i had a four-hour lunch today with two friends from school. an inadvertent occasion. we went by a place i'd seen on check, please! chicago, which looked good. picked up jesse and spence at their place (a 25-minute endeavor because i live in the sticks), then we went over to this restaurant.

CLOSED for catering, re-opening in 2 hours. we walked down the street (not the best neighborhood, therefore the most promising for good eats), and found a korean hole-in-the-wall that serves only soups of various kinds. spleen, tendon, tripe-filled soups. we had lunch there, but soup with veggies and a bowl of rice is not filling, so we went BACK to the original place, which was packed because of the airing on the show, and waited nearly 90 minutes for food. we were originally just going to order a shitload of lumpia to go, but a table opened up so we decided to order more stuff to try. fortunately, we weren't hungry like some of the other restaurant patrons, who got downright angry at the owner/manager.

you can't really feel bad for the hungry people; if everyone got seated at the same time, you're bound to wait for an hour to eat. the kitchen staff was busting they asses to get food for these people. it was BYOB, so after the first hour, the boys got the bright idea to go next door and get some oversized bottles of sierra nevada. we got our plates eventually, and they were pretty yum.

one of my theories in life is that islanders aren't that good at running businesses. i don't think this applies to all, of course, but if i had a dollar for every hawaiian restaurant owned and run by hawaiians that folded in under two years... i'd probably have a lot of dollars. i'm kind of extending this observation to all islanders, because i'm lazy in the brain and judgmental. i observed this owner guy today, and while the food was good and they surely hustled... who closes their restaurant for 4 hours on the weekend that their restaurant is featured very prominently on a local restaurant review show?! they had a catering event that morning, which i get, but perhaps separating the catering and the restaurant kitchen would be worth its while. or limiting the catering menu only to shit you can slam out in the wee hours of the morning before the restaurant opens for lunch. no?

tell me if you can figure this out

maybe it's the early hour, but i'm having trouble understanding the bar graph towards the top of this infographic. [click to enlarge. again, my blog template has column sizes that are too narrow for the full size, but the automated blogger sizing makes it too small. and i'm too lazy to crunch the image proportions by hand and adjust in html.]

do you get it? how can imports and exports worldwide vs. the U.S. yield such odd numbers? shouldn't the imports and exports be inverted versions of each other?

this infographic, and many others of outstanding quality, comes to you via mint.com's blog. mint.com is a great, free online service that helps people with their personal finances, to budget, reach goals, etc. i don't use the personal finance service (i keep meaning to, but, let's be honest. i live on student loans, so i know exactly how much i have to spend each quarter.), but i do subscribe to their blog. i find that it addresses financial issues that are more sophisticated than the average mass media outlet, but does so in a clear, easy-to-understand way, and often presents them in nice, modern formats like infographics for news nerds like me who like the digital stuff.

that said, i actually do know why the bar graph is yielding such odd numbers. if you look up worldwide coffee import/export numbers on a bloomberg terminal or a website that covers world economic trade numbers (morningstar might also be useful), you're basically going to get tonnage and dollar values for coffee producing around the world. if you graph them, they won't make sense, because of course it would be far too easy for the import/export numbers to be calculated in a straightforward manner.

i'm sure nothing in this post furthers the world in any positive way, but maybe someone out there can help me out.

gamboling about on the internets...

The Black Ivy from Street Etiquette on Vimeo.


if there was a degree to be earned on random treasure-hunting on the internet, i think i could bronze medal. or at least earn an AA degree. seriously.

today was particularly fruitful. one of my friends buzzed (he's one of three that still uses poor 'ol buzz) an esquire magazine infographic on pant sizes by american retailers, and from there i found a male-oriented blog about fashion and general outward appearance called Put This On. that lead me to many other things, but more importantly a video/slideshow/still photo project called The Black Ivy by joshua kissi and travis gumbs of the fashion blog, Street Etiquette.


it's gorgeous. the video production quality is beautiful (i have an appreciation for such things having shot a few shitty video projects myself). the people are gorgeous. it's enviously styled. i don't even subscribe to the prepster movement and i love this project.

if i had a cork inspiration board above my desk like i had most of my life, i would pin these stills up. one day, when i stop living as a gypsy or roma, i will.

ok, so maybe some people are right

so, my tribe (with few exceptions) consists of drum-beat worshipping, morning-growling, daylight-stomping coffee drinkers. i have never apologized for my coffee addiction; quite the opposite, i reveled in it. i celebrated it. i mocked people who did not understand its seduction.

makes your heart palpitate? excellent, it's working! jittery and unfocused? pthhhh, a noob. can't sleep at night? that's why people invented ambien!

oh, so glib.

after hell and back in six days without coffee, i jumped (ok, we all know me better than that. i probably slogged) out of bed at the crack of noon and joyously (alright, inscrutably and unemotionally) poured water from the brita into my coffee maker's water well. i carefully measured (i.e. dumped unceremoniously) peet's italian roast into the gold mesh filter. i hit "start," cackling and rubbing my evil hands together.

i knew my clean, fresh, innocent-pink bodily system should probably start off slowly, so both of my two cups were one-third soy milk. and here i sit, heart palpitating,

jittery and unfocused,

and likely unable to sleep for another 82 hours.

fuck.

i knew this morning that coffee probably wasn't necessary. i even considered tea. but the thought of abandoning my rite of passage into adulthood, my personal vice and source of solace, my morning ritual of reassurance was too much to bear. i had to start up again. no one was going to lead me out of the territory on a sled in the dead of winter and abandon my old ass to die alone. i'm a heart-thumping, hand-shaking, wild-brained warrior in this tribe.

detox days 3, 4, 4.5

eating to feel full. that's what just germinated in my gerbil brain as i sat down and tucked into a bowl of not un-delicious but somehow un-soul satisfying vegan lentil soup (lentils, onion, olive oil, tomatoes, vegetable broth).

that's what detox does for me. it unhooks my need for taste and karmic satisfaction from eating. when detoxing, i eat to fulfill bodily demands, not because i want to eat it or it's particularly interesting or tantalizing. i stop when i am full, which is a feat the unscaleability of which i cannot accurately express.

today, which is day 5, i woke up feeling alert for the first time since saturday. alert and with greatly reduced back pain. days 3 and 4 were defined by what i can only describe as crippling back pain. i spent over an hour last night stretching and downward-dogging and forward-bending in an attempt to ease the tension, which seemed to draw from the base of my spine and spider around my hips into my belly. leaning into the pain made it so acute i became nauseous. trev insisted that i stop this detox foolery and spend tomorrow in pursuit of a hamburger, and see the doctor. i insisted back that's i'd made a big pot of uninspiring lentils and was not about to waste it.

i'm glad i was able to name what it does, these seven days of torture.

an interesting viewing, 23 minutes

one of the professors teaching my capstone course - where i'll be working all quarter on what amounts to my final project for the program - is brent huffman. he and a chinese documentary filmaker teamed up on this project for al jazeera about chinese living in africa, and the existing tensions. it's pretty interesting.



or, you can watch it on al jazeera's website, here.

detox day 2

photo by Su-Lin

i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee. i miss coffee.


that said, i'm feeling a bit better now than i was for most of the day. might have to do with the 90-minute nap that randomly took hold of me this evening. i closed my eyes due to the caffeine-withdrawal headache, and suddenly it was almost 7 and i had nothing in the hopper for dinner.

this afternoon, i went to the school and spoke to the new students coming in this semester along with fellow students, and on my way back i kept forgetting that i was detoxing and considering dinner options:

"maybe i'll get a gyro."

doh!

"hmm, maybe i'll get sandwich."

doh!

"damn. i guess it's $*#%)^& quinoa again."

tonight i mixed it up and made this recipe, again from the best veg blog ever. brown rice instead of quinoa, yay. lots of garbanzos for protein, and i swapped in kale and artichoke hearts instead of asparagus. i also skipped the dressing and squeezed lemon over everything instead, which turned out quite yummy.

my dessert, if you can call it that, is a small glass of soy milk. and half a peach. i'm actually craving chocolate, which is rare. i'm not really a chocolate person.

from past experience and reading, it seems that day 2 is the toughest. last time i did this, day 2 was headachy and it just got worse from there. i'm hoping this time i'll be energetic starting day 3, like a lot of people say.

the thing that is striking to me is that i'm not eating stuff that i wouldn't ordinarily eat. i actually do eat quinoa with some regularity, and i eat brown rice exclusively, if i'm cooking at home. it's just that between those meals i have nice options like... noodles, eggs, a pork chop once in a while.

detox day 1

photo by Heather Ingram

so, it's that time again. no meat, dairy, caffeine, eggs, refined anything-time. this is partially tipped off by my three weeks at home, spent mostly eating and enjoying myself and my family and friends. i was actually pretty active during the three weeks, managing to hike, run, swim and even lift weights. i also just started to feel the need for a change, maybe because of the change in seasons? i'm not sure. i know i have been craving sweet potatoes and kale, which has got to be the weirdest craving i've ever had.

and... a couple of things happened in a row, namely: #1, i have eyes in my head and clearly i am not at my most svelte, and #2, those eyes in my head saw what the numbers said when i got on the scale in my mom's bathroom (i'm too broke and gypsy-like to have a scale).

so, off i go.

today was the first day back in the chi, so i went on an extensive grocery trip that involved the asian market and trader joe's. i managed to buy about 5 bags of groceries (mostly produce) from the asian market for $40. i managed to spend $65 on two bags at TJs. typical.

breakfast: oatmeal, peppermint tea
lunch: tofu, spinach, broth (lazy girl's soup)
dinner: quinoa, kale, tofu, roasted tomatoes, a recipe from one of my favorite food blogs

my fridge is stuffed full of chard, kale, spinach, tofu, grapes, peaches, cabbage, carrots and various non-dairy milks. i'm giving almond milk a shot. i also bought beans and quinoa up the ying yang for its protein.

i also bought the chicago groupon for this place. i'm curious to see if raw food is as nasty as it sounds.

whilst lost in the land of the internet...

i'm researching and writing a draft (due tomorrow at 10 a.m., way to go procrastinator) of a long-form story about the student loan market for the upcoming quarter. i stumbled across this infographic by collegescholarships.org and ByJess.net and thought i should share. (click on it for a readable version, my damn template has such narrow columns.)

it speaks for itself.



Infographic by College Scholarships.org

my summer

...is almost over. what do i have to show for it?

not much, but it's been fun. 3 weeks of seeing friends and my family and running amok in the streets, when i've felt like it.

i don't even have a single photo. my need to visually record my life has diminished significantly, i suppose.

i would really like one of these. i think it will help with the inspiration!

tee hee.

nighttime adventures

i just saw a very large lady riding a bike crash directly into a wall and wipe out.

???

i guess she just didn't see the wall? it is nighttime.

on another note, in the "free" area downstairs, someone has placed a box containing a broken car headlight.

what the fuck?

all this in a quick trip to 7-11 for some ice cream.

alicia keys isn't doing it for me

neither is adele.

i'm in-process of readying myself emotionally to write. i noticed not-so-recently that for me to produce creatively, i get the best results when i manipulate my own emotions. i have to make myself depressed in order to write something that i'm happy with. i usually deploy extremely emotional ballads to do the dirty work, then go to bed feeling very glum after an hour or so of typing.

this is probably fairly fucked up, but as creativity goes, i'm thinking a lot of people are the same way. aren't a lot of artists totally unstable? i'm not saying i'm van gough, but i think the creative process can be similar for a lot of people.

that said, nothing's working. my usual songs aren't working. is there such a thing as being too stable?

possibly said today

"and, jesse, where's he?"

"yeah, where is jesse?"

"he's drumming."

"drumming?"

"oh. still doing that?"

"yeah, drumming. with a cardboard tube on a... box. and miaowing."

"drumming and miaowing out the window."

"i see."

"he's just so good at it, the miaowing."

in defense of dating a dud

not a dude, a dud. a dud can be a dude or a dame.

it dawned on me while in the shower about 23 minutes ago that dating a complete booooo, thumbs-down, everybody-hated-him-except-my-mother guy really made me appreciate a couple of things.

first, and more obvious, is that it made me appreciate T all the more when he came along.

second, it made me embrace the full, unadulterated me because i gave so little of a shit about this guy that i basically said and did whatever i wanted. his only manipulation leverage was that he could make himself such a complete pain in the ass that i would do what he wanted (on rare occasions) just to avoid the burden of dealing with his tantrums.

i'm going to argue here that being completely selfish and self-involved in a relationship, while shitty for the other person, kind of helped me be me all the way. finally.

i've had trouble with this in the past. the one time my mom had me evaluated by a shrink, he essentially said that i grew up too fast and strove hard to be something i wasn't, which was actually very accurate. i think my mom just felt guilty from the point forward for indulging me when i said i wanted to go to school at 4 years old, thus making me a year younger than the others. i'm not really sure what to think about that nugget.

BD (before dud), i was never fully relaxed enough to express all of my opinions, let my tendencies bust out into the open. i'm a tomboy, i curse enough to make people uncomfortable, i'm logical to a point of emotionlessness, i have a horrible temper, i mistrust every single person on the planet except for like, 3 people of varying connection to me, the list goes on. in the past i've tried to be more stylish than i naturally care to be (stylishness takes effort, which i frequently don't have the energy for), i've tried to be high-maintenance (also takes way too much effort), i've tried to be girly and pleasant. ha. my pleasantness is derived from the fact that i'm deadpan and lazy and sleepy, not because i'm actually pleasant. it's a by-product if it happens.

PD (post dud), i was able to see how much i changed myself to make myself more likeable. that's some wack shit. sadly, it took me about 29 years to figure out how to be me.

part of my 30s loftiness comes from the fact that i have accepted my faults and am more-or-less comfortable in my skin. hats off to people who have had a steeper and faster learning curve. it's not an easy one.

A is for asparagus, P is for pizza!

photo credit

i had my most defining californian-in-chicago moment last week after the cubs game. my friend amy, who grew up in a northwest chicago suburb, was kind enough to invite me to a cubs game with a couple of her family members and friends. we go, and i manage to impress at least amy and the girl next to her with my double hot-dog and fries chowdown. and then after the game we go to a pizza place.

not any pizza place, mind you. this is a walk-in joint just a few steps from wrigley field, meaning it sees dozens if not hundreds of drunk cubs fans a few times a week (and, let me tell you, no one does drunk like cubs fans. maybe white sox fans). its specialty is pasta pizza, by which i mean pizzas that are topped with pasta dishes: tortellini, mac 'n cheese, chicken alfredo penne. after my hot dog duo, i thought i'd go light with a slice of the asparagus and potato pizza. after a couple of bites, i gave up. my stomach couldn't take it. i tried mightily to give my pizza away, but no one, not even amy's trash-compactor of a brother-in-law, would even touch my slice.


shit. in california, a pizza covered in asparagus and thin slices of yukon gold tater would sound like a spectacular idea, especially for the drunk baseball fan who wants to squeeze some veggies into her ballpark diet. in chicago, i became the pizza leper. i got "eewwwwwwws" in surround sound. it was brutal.

driving at night

jesse and i decided to go and get popeye's at 10 tonight. then we decided he should learn to drive a stick shift, which he did. and so we had late-night driving and chicken eating, giggling all the while.

on writing

i had an interesting conversation tonight which made me want to type further about it. yesterday, when my story was filed, i felt mostly ok about the fact that my lede and nut graf were re-written by my professor, joe, who emphasizes clarity over elegance. i like to strive for both, but probably write with less clarity than elegance. whatever. no biggie.

talking to a friend tonight about another classmate's writing, which she described as 'very narrative' - something she admired. something flashed in my head - not quite fully formed enough to be a thought, more like a determined note to myself in fetus form. i know that i'm losing my voice, to a certain extent, in being shaped to write hard news, but this bothers me less than it does others. i just don't care. there's no space for beauty in hard news ledes, you need to be clear and straightforward and present the facts. i think it's a good exercise for me, as i tend towards the willy-nilly school of getting to the point. but i think i can make a stronger case for retaining a sense of me. i need to stop rolling over during edits for the sake of getting the FUCK out of the newsroom before another massive headache comes on. 

i re-read the story i wrote yesterday (ok, i really just skimmed the first couple grafs) and it didn't sound like something i'd written, mainly because it wasn't. and it didn't bother me so much as made me decide that i should publish things i've written and be able to recognize the damn things, right? right. this i will work on. this i want to do.

off to bed.

a note about today

so, today was productive. i got a story idea just before noon from my professor, joe, reported the shit out of it and produced a story by around 4 p.m. i was impressed with myself. it involves a local manufacturer's role in the gulf oil spill cleanup efforts, so i was able to reach the manufacturer, the coast guard and BP in the span of a few hours, which was lucky.

joe was heavy-handed in editing the lede and nut grafs (the first paragraph and the 'graph with "the point" of the story) which i don't love, honestly. i put a lot of thought into word selection, i emphasize flow and language, and he emphasizes clarity. as he should, i suppose. anyway, enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

photo credit: BP p.l.c.

Nalco supplies dispersant for oil cleanup effort 

May 11, 2010

Naperville-based Nalco Holding Co. is keeping up with the need for its chemical dispersant in attacking the huge oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The dispersant has been sprayed multiple times a day, a total of more than 325,000 gallons so far, over the oil spreading on the surface. On Monday the Environmental Protection Agency also conducted its third test of the chemical on the ocean floor, according to the Coast Guard.

The dispersant, called COREXIT, is being tested both for effectiveness and for impact on the Gulf’s water ecology.

The effect of using such a large amount of dispersant is unknown, according to Coast Guard spokesman David Mosley. The impact on sea life is a primary concern for the EPA in continuing tests.

COREXIT is a proprietary chemical compound made of organic sulfonic acid salts, a surfactant, and propylene glycol, a solvent, which breaks the oil into small droplets, making it digestible to ocean bacteria.

COREXIT is being transported via air from stock points around the world and via truck from Nalco’s Texas plant.

“We have been working very hard with our suppliers to get the raw materials,” said Nalco spokesman Charlie Pajor. “We have sufficient production capacity, so that is not a problem.”
The company declined to state the revenues generated from COREXIT shipments in the quarter, but stated that material information would be reported as required to the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Nalco maintains that the dispersant underwent strenuous testing by the EPA before being approved for oil spill cleanups.

Applying the dispersant is one of many efforts made to lessen the impact of the gushing deep-water oil well spilling an estimated 5,000 barrels per day into the Gulf of Mexico. The leak was caused by an April 20 drilling rig explosion, which killed 11 people and sank the rig owned by Transocean Ltd. The deepwater well is located about 45 miles from Venice, La.

Nalco has shipped all available inventory to the cleanup site, and reported that it was receiving “great support” by its suppliers in turning around as much of the compound as quickly as possible, according to its chairman and CEO, Erik Fyrwald, during an interview by CNBC last Monday.

“Our focus is not on the business impact of this. Our only focus is to supporting BP and the government agencies in dealing with this crisis as best we can,” said Fyrwald. “This is a crisis that we all want to help make sure comes to a positive end.”

Nalco’s stock closed at $24.09 on Tuesday, down 0.21 percent or 5 cents after reaching a four-month high of $26.19 on May 3, which was the day CEO Fyrwald appeared on CNBC as well as on Fox Business News.

the elysium fields

such a lovely sounding grouping of words. one forgets that it refers to the somewhat unsettling concept of the afterlife, a final resting place for deserving souls, and not to the more modern concept of paradise.

while i certainly hope my grandmother is resting somewhere beautiful, where stand-in grandchildren bring her tea and cakes and massage her feet with lotion, i feel for myself there is no there there. (she would probably prefer somewhere noisy and filled with food smells and actual foods and a blaring cantonese-language tv program.) another reason concepts like heavens and green pastures were invented by the living - we need to feel that there was a higher reason for our loss, and like to lazily believe in the existence of lush fields, galloping horses, floating angels and other emotional associations with beauty and peace. the souls themselves could actually prefer sharper realities, like the funkiness of durian on a hot night, to spending eternity in a silky white robe, playing the harp.

been kind of mulling over the concept in the back of my mind tonight, thinking about my elysium fields. oddly enough, thinking long and hard on that blasted elliptical machine that i'm shamefully loyal to. there's not much else to do when your ipod is out of battery and an amateurish and actually quite nauseating cooking show is on tv while you sweat your way to penitence. as i work to be good and smart and faithful, will the shit just not matter in the end? i just want to say, 'fuck it' and be completely bad ass, bad and terrible all rolled into one.

it's just the lack of sleep talking. you probably don't understand what i'm trying to discuss with myself, and i don't blame you.

other recent stories II

New CTA cars prioritize capacity, not service, experts say

April 16, 2010

Two Chicago transportation experts expressed doubts about the seating configurations in the new Chicago Transit Authority rail cars unveiled Thursday during a press conference.

The center-facing seats are seen as less comfortable for passengers, and may make the CTA less competitive as a mode of transportation.

“When you’re looking at the viewpoint of competing for riders, then that’s not going to achieve it. Purely from a service standpoint, having the new cars with the technology is good, that’s all positive. The main negative is from the overall user experience,” said Professor Hani Mahmassani, director of the Northwestern University Transportation Center.

The new train car model retires the current seat configuration in favor of space-saving aisle-facing seats. The new design reduces the number of seats by about 17 percent.

“The density in our system isn’t so great that we should write off getting a seat. I’m not talking about the Red Line at rush hour, I’m talking about the other 90 percent of the system,” said Joseph Schwieterman, director of DePaul University’s Chaddick Institute for Metropolitan Development.

The prototypes, which will start test runs on the Red Line next week, have four fold-up and 34 aisle-facing seats, creating a wider center aisle and more space for bicycles, strollers and luggage at the expense of up to eight fewer seats per car. Overall, the new model increases maximum passenger capacity to 123 passengers.

“I think as other modes of transportation become more comfortable, it’s a shame that the CTA is taking a step backwards with fewer seats. It reinforces the notion that transit is inherently uncomfortable,” Schwieterman said.

In the Chicago area, the average commute by train is approximately 45 minutes, including walk time, while in a car it’s about 25 minutes, according to experts.

The seating configuration was at the request of the CTA, according to the manufacturer, Montreal-based Bombardier Transportation Mass Transit Corp.

“The end result is a wider aisle, more room to maneuver. It’s easier to get on and off,” said Maryanne Roberts, spokeswoman for Bombardier.

The new fleet, comprising 406 rail cars and a $603.6 million investment, is sorely needed. The new models will replace cars that have been in service for up to 41 years and have outdated, inefficient propulsion and braking systems. The recommended lifespan for a rail car is 25 years.

The new design adds six inches to the narrowest point of center aisles, and will have passenger support poles and hard straps plus two spaces for wheelchairs. The prototypes include several new passenger safety features, a more efficient braking system, an improved communication system and modernized climate regulation.

New safety features include seven networked security cameras per car, an intercom enabling the rail operator to see and communicate with passengers, and an emergency communication system. Lighted station indicator maps and destination signs will also be on the interior and exterior of the new 5000 series model.

Navistar optimistic for 2010 earnings

April 08, 2010

Commercial truck and engine manufacturer Navistar International Corp. Thursday increased earnings guidance for 2010, raising its net income forecast to between $198 million to $234 million, or $2.75 to $3.25 per diluted share.

The improved outlook was attributed to a stronger economic climate, an increase in military sales and improved margins in the truck and parts business. Previous earnings guidance for the fiscal year ending Oct. 30 was $1.75 to $2.25.

Navistar, based in Warrenville, anticipates its defense segment revenues to land in the range of $2.6 billion to $2.8 billion, with confirmed orders worth $2 billion. Military sales last year totaled $2.8 billion.

Analysts responded positively, if cautiously, to the news. Chicago-based Barrington Research Associates Inc. analyst Walter Liptak highlighted the company’s potential for an early rebound as an advantage over competitors, and identified Navistar as a solid company for longer-term investment.

“The military sales is a positive for this year, but the thing that will really help NAV is the new 2010 trucks which should help the company gain market share,” Liptak wrote in an email.

Navistar Chairman and CEO Daniel Ustian told analysts that the revenues from the military orders would fall primarily into the third quarter, and that the profitability outlook for the second quarter was “right on the line.” Non-operational items, not margin on existing orders, will swing the second quarter results, Ustian said.

Liptak decreased his second-quarter earnings estimates to a penny from 20 cents, but increased third-quarter estimates to $1.52 from $1.33.

Commercial truck industry sales dropped sharply during the economic slowdown, bringing Navistar’s retail truck sales in 2009 to its lowest point in 47 years.

Navistar’s stock increased 94 cents, or 2 percent, to close at $48.00 Thursday.

other recent stories

UAL reports higher sales, narrowed losses

April 27, 2010

UAL Corp. reported improved first-quarter results with a narrower loss driven by an uptick in revenue. Earnings beat the Wall Street consensus estimate by a considerable margin but the stock dropped 8.3 percent.

UAL lost $82 million, or 49 cents per share, an improvement from the prior-year loss of $382 million, or $2.64 per share, even as volatile fuel expenses increased nearly 20 percent.

Analysts surveyed by Yahoo Finance were expecting a loss of 77 cents in the quarter ended March 31. Chicago-based UAL, the holding company for United Airlines Inc., reported a revenue increase of nearly 15 percent to $4.24 billion from $3.69 billion the prior year.

UAL executives said the airline is still has a long way to go. “There is much more work to do and much more potential to be realized,” said United's Executive Vice President John Tague.

The company announced Friday a change in its frequent flier mileage revenue calculation. Analysts were supportive of the change in accounting practice, which lifted revenue per available seat mile – an industry metric measuring demand—by an estimated 1.5 percent to 2 percent

Hudson Holding Corp. analyst Daniel McKenzie raised his full-year earnings estimate to $3.20 per share from $2.30 based on the accounting change.

Analysts’ reactions ranged from tentative to positive about the quarter.

“We believe fundamentals are very solid,” wrote Gary Chase, an analyst with Barclays Bank PLC, in a research note. He raised his earnings estimate for the year to $2.55 from $1.40 and the target stock price to $30 from $25.

UBS Securities LLC analyst Kevin Crissey maintained his 2010 target price of $30 and full-year earnings per share forecast of $2.30. He wrote in a note that “compared to our model, revenue and costs were in-line to slightly worse.”

United executives expressed cautious optimism about the quarter during a conference call with analysts, referencing signs of recovering customer demand.

CEO Glenn Tilton said the company was “encouraged to see early recovery” in business passenger revenues. He also repeatedly mentioned United’s position among its competitors, adding the company posted the “best net margin of the five major U.S. carriers.”

Despite repeated attempts by analysts to address United’s merger talks with Continental Airlines, executives declined to comment during the conference call.

United stock closed Tuesday at $20.51, down $1.85 or 8.3 percent.

Cautious optimism for Boeing in 2010

April 21, 2010

Boeing Co., a leading aerospace manufacturer, reported decreased earnings Wednesday based on continuing soft sales in its commercial aircraft segment, but beat analysts’ expectations by 6 cents. Its stock rose 3.9 percent.

First-quarter earnings for the Chicago-based company fell 14.9 percent to $519 million, or 70 cents per diluted share, down from $610 million, or 87 cents per diluted share, last year. Analysts surveyed by Yahoo! Finance were expecting earnings of 64 cents.

Earnings reflected a 20-cent per share charge related to the recent healthcare legislation.

Boeing’s revenue for the quarter ended March 31, decreased 8 percent to $15.2 billion from $16.5 billion in 2009.

Boeing decreased its earnings guidance for the rest of the year to between $3.50 and $3.80 from its previous forecast of $3.70 to $4.00 based on healthcare costs. The $64 billion to $66 billion revenue forecast for 2010 was attributed to lowered aircraft production rates and reduced military spending.

“We are pleased with our first-quarter performance but recognize there is a lot of work to be done this year across both of our businesses,” said Boeing President James Bell during a call with analysts.

The company’s commercial airplanes segment saw an upswing in profit margin but decreased revenues, which dropped 13 percent to $7.47 billion from the same quarter last year. Boeing attributed lower revenues to fewer 747 airplane deliveries and issues with its seat supplier. Even so, margins for the commercial unit increased to 9.1 percent of sales from 4.9 percent during the first quarter of 2009. The company cited “strong operating performance” as the reason for the increase.

Boeing’s other business sector – defense, space and security – also saw a modest decrease in revenues over the previous year, shrinking 1 percent to $7.61 billion. The decline was driven primarily by lower volume in its network and space systems division. Margins decreased to 8.7 percent of revenue from 9.2 percent last year.

Chairman and CEO Jim McNerney indicated that the U.S. Department of Defense and other military agencies continue to face significant budget pressures.

Boeing’s business volume is split between its commercial and defense segments. Despite some shrinkage in its military revenue forecasts and slower sales on the commercial side, Boeing will continue to invest in program development for the rest of the year. R&D spending is forecast to rise to between $3.9 billion and $4.1 billion. Operating cash flow is expected to be zero for the year, reflecting a pension contribution of less than $100 million and a buildup of inventory.

Analysts are supportive of Boeing’s significant capital expenditures but are cautious about program development costs. A new assembly line for 787s in South Carolina, was an expected investment with the bulk of the costs landing in 2010.

“Boeing has significant execution risk related to its development programs, both in its commercial and military businesses,” wrote UBS Securities LLC analyst David Strauss in a research note. Strauss maintained his “neutral” rating with earnings estimates of $3.80 for the year, on the high end of the company’s guidance.

“We believe it is a positive sign that R&D guidance remains unchanged for the year,” wrote Stifel Nicolaus & Co. Inc. analyst Troy Lahr in a research note.

The company expects R&D spending to drop in fiscal 2011.

Boeing stock closed at $74.16 on Wednesday, up $2.75 per share, or 3.9 percent.

by popular demand

or really, just one person...

the url for medill's new service is: http://news.medill.northwestern.edu/chicago/

this story is on the front page now, but front pages get changed just about daily. the best way to find business writing (which is frequently too boring to be included on the front page) is to click on the "business" link at the bottom of the page.

to find my stuff, i type my name into the search box.

believe me, we know how ghetto and user-unfriendly our website is. everyone is embarrassed by it, especially the knight scholars, who could easily re-build the front end in a day if someone would let them. our CMS is also off the hook and involves pounding flax into paper and making ink out of crushed beetles.

keep in mind that we write to a local audience, so everything is localized unless it's a story involving news in chicago or illinois. i've become the queen of graphs and the consultant extraordinaire in the newsroom for quick excel graphs that look terrible (but are accurate). we get extra points (literally) for graphs that we make, so i - being of reasonable intelligence - always include a graph or image with my stories. it basically doubles the points for my stories, enabling me to halve the number of stories i actually need to write for the course.

here's my story from thursday:

Unemployment claims drop, economy still weak

April 29, 2010

Advance initial claims for unemployment insurance dropped to 448,000 in the week ended April 24, according to a report released Thursday by the U.S. Department of Labor. That was down 11,000 from a revised figure of 459,000 the previous week.

Economists were expecting 445,000 claims, according to Yahoo Finance.

“Any time it goes down is good news,” said Michael Miller, associate professor of economics at DePaul University in Chicago.

Despite the decrease and other early indications of a stabilizing American economy, local experts say that the country is still in recession. The four-week moving average of initial claims rose by 1,500 to 462,500, an increase from the prior week’s average. The moving average has climbed for the past several weeks.

In Illinois, the four-week average decreased by 228 claims compared with the prior week. The four-week number paints a more accurate picture, and shows that last week’s claims are “in essence relatively flat, and down significantly from a year ago,” said Richard Kaye, an economist with the Illinois Department of Employment Security. Compared with the same period a year ago, new claims are down 41 percent, or 9,320 claims.

Illinois had fewer layoffs in the construction and service industries, according to the report.

“Job loss is slowing down, but you still have a pretty terrible labor market. That’s certainly true for Illinois,” said Bob Bruno, a professor at University of Illinois at Chicago’s School of Labor and Employment Relations. “The average duration on unemployment is still terribly high. Illinois is in that group of states that has to keep extending unemployment benefits.”

During a robust economic phase, initial unemployment claims can number from 325,000 to 400,000, according to Miller.

“While moving in the right direction, we’re still at the level of claims in the middle of recession numbers. We still have a long way to go,” Miller said. “We were worse for so long in the 600-range.”

In March, more than 44 percent of the nation’s unemployed had been jobless for 27 or more weeks, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The March unemployment rate in Illinois was 11.7 percent, compared with the national average of 10.2 percent.

The four-week average may have been negatively skewed due to the timing of the Easter holiday, according to local experts.

The Dow Jones industrial average climbed 122 points Thursday.

warming up

the view out of the back of the el train, purple line to evanston.

end of my second week of my second quarter. this week was decent. i filed two stories this week, the first of which made it to the "front page" of our web site. to be fair, one third of the newsroom - the "urban" reporters - weren't in that day and so didn't compete for front page status. business stories, unless linked with some hot topic or glamorous topic like sports or celebrities, aren't necessarily front-page fodder.

part of the reason i'm thinking the week wasn't so bad was because i only had to get up at 5:45 a.m. twice this week. wednesday was the "career fair" in evanston so i slept in til 8 that day. woo fucking hoo. career fairs are all the same. predictably lame. i walked around, talked to CNN, bloomberg and travelzoo, got some free pens. i also went to a meeting in preparation for this workshop next week, for which i am a student volunteer.

been skyping with trev at night. it's nice for me because i get to wind down from the day hearing his voice and what he did the day before. once he starts work next week it won't work out so nicely - shanghai is 13 hours ahead so his mornings, which he's been spending leisurely talking with me, will be a tad busier. and my mornings tuesday through thursday are brutal - i'm out the door when the sun is coming up. we'll see how this works out, time-wise, this quarter. international relationships, as good as we are at them, are tough.

i need a pick-me-up

friday nights = too tired to do anything + too anxious to not do anything

is this why a disproportionate percentage of journalists are alcoholics?

i started my second quarter, including the voyage towards specializing in digital media. it's pretty remedial so far... i'll reserve my comments for a later time, when i've taken more than just one class, but i hope it goes faster than this first class. we're blogging on wordpress.

everyone says how j-school is one of the best years of their lives. i'm not experiencing that. i'm learning a lot, but it's stressful and grueling and not that fun. so, let me dispel that myth.

for the first time since i left california in early december, i'm actually feeling sort of homesick. it's weird, because i plugged along in the freezing weather, and now that it's warm out i want to go home.

reading the paper

now, more and more, when i read the paper i find myself marveling, "damn! those are some good quotes. i wonder how she was able to get those."

case in point: nicholas confessore's story on gov. david paterson this morning in the times, excerpt below.

“This is a devastating blow to a campaign that had problems to begin with,” said State Senator Eric T. Schneiderman, a Manhattan Democrat who is one of Mr. Paterson’s closest friends in Albany. “I don’t think there’s any way around that, and I think he knows that. I think everyone knows that.”

i mean, damn! how do people get such awesomeness.

i'll never know, from washington anyway since i'm not a reporting person, just striving to be an interactive nerd. but still, i find it admirable.

yes, i'm geeking out.

the inevitable

after way too many convos with my main prof where he tells me i'm the bees knees, the "class valedictorian, if we had one" and many other waaaaaaaaay over-the-top exaggerations that have basically backfired and made me even more self-conscious... i've finally fucked up royally on a story and have to re-do the motherfucker.

it was bound to happen.

i keep telling myself that, but i guess i still feel bad. i should have known better than to blunder like i did. the bitch about my re-do is that video is fucking PAIN in the ASS and takes about 100x longer than writing a story. this is extra-double verifying that i never want to go into broadcast. ever.

i also have to bring lunch for the class on wednesday, which is - i have to be honest - probably stressing me out just as much as that 75. i am a freak.

ugh, ok. i just recalled that i have to friggin do some extra website shit for work study. whoever circulated the memo that grad school is easier than undergrad... is full of shit! i may have made it up in my head, but i really thought it wouldn't be such a struggle.

fug.

epic procrastination

dirtay bingo at cans bar

the closer the deadlines loom, the more i must comb facebook like i'm searching for nits on a scalp, desperately putting off another three hours wasted editing tracks in garageband. deep down, i'm thrilled that i was actually forced to blunder my way through the audio process (because a useless 40-minute training on that piece of garbage audacity program the school wants us to use for audio didn't do shit) but now that i semi-understand what i'm doing, i'm ready to do something else.

once i figure out how to drop an audio player into this little window, i'll post my 90-second audio package for NPR on dirty bingo. just kidding. about the NPR part, that is. you know i wrote and produced a story about dirty (filthy, actually) bingo instead of doing something with any weight. i got a 94 on it, too. don't judge! my friend amy did hers on the taco bell diet. the future of journalism, right here.

for my audio slideshow i covered a yoga-for-haiti fundraiser at the school. yes, i know. i can hear you judging. i'm just not going to be a hard news person, ok? that was never in the cards.

so now i have to write a fictional obit on some poor soul from my hometown (tom hanks, here i come) and instead i'm watching new A.F.I. videos and making tea and mucking around with my camcorder. oh yes, and blog-blathering. i am really asking for it.

one note - if you want to be taken seriously as a journalist, don't arrange beforehand with the organizer of a fundraiser to take photos, then show up with a rinky-dink point 'n shoot. i don't even think he noticed, but i felt like a total ass. i need a big fancy SLR to look legit. shouldn't the school have loaners so their masters students aren't laughed at? um, and bring a tripod so half your pictures from your weak little camera don't come out blurry.

damn, so

photo credits, by the way, are documented by way of photo links

grad school went and got all hard this week. wtf?! i thought i was just going to be partying the whole way through. oh wait, that's b-school. my bad.

i have something like 7 deadlines by next tuesday. didn't i used to get paid to have a to-do list like that? all of us in my main class, newswriting, kind of freaked out this morning and pressured our teacher into pushing our audio story deadline out a few days. having to crunch numbers is one thing, but when you have to interview folks you can't actually work late at night. inconvenient.

i am still working on a project where we go and hit the members of 4 suburbs with interviews. it's not fun. my classmate amy and i are devising a rather clever plan to go to local dives and conduct our interviews. it must be easier to talk to fools after a drink or two. and amy reasons that people don't wander far for their local watering hole, so we're definitely going to be getting actual residents of that town, unlike at malls, where everyone from the 3 closest states come to shop. people travel for commerce.

was feeling mighty discouraged (friggin sources won't cooperate when you want them to, i'm discovering) and then heard from my professor to call him. damn it. it turned out well, i'm getting some decent grades up front, and he said some nice things. this is still the beginning, mind you. i'm anticipating an epic fail somewhere along these lines. helped brighten my outlook a bit.

write a lede summarizing your first week at medill

don't forget who what where why when...




A purveying sense of camaraderie and expectation defined the first week of the Winter 2010 Medill MSJ program, said Carolyn at its close.

The professors, she found, were generally of impressive pedigree and proved to be as enthusiastic about their guidance as their storytelling of past days.

******************************

Driving wind and water-heavy snow did little to diminish the mixture of thrill, fear, and expectation of Carolyn’s first week at Medill.

The longest week of her life began Jan. 4, 2010, as the 31-year-old masters student found herself, after nearly a decade of analyzing profitability and streamlining processes for Fortune 500 companies, constantly re-calibrating in her social negotiations with fellow students still damp with undergraduate exertions while she strived to maintain focus on academics.

*****************************

Efficiency, observed a newly minted journalism masters student Carolyn, was not a priority for the seasoned journalist.

The decade she spent counting minutes, streamlining processes, and driving profitability was abruptly turned on its head with her first week at the Medill School of Journalism, which commenced Jan. 4, 2010. In its place was a shocking disregard for organization and the concept of informed preparation. She knew immediately that she had made the right decision.

*****************************

It was possible, graduate student Carolyn concluded on Friday, to experience simultaneous and competing currents of excitement, fear, extreme discomfort, awe, and joy for five consecutive days and emerge relatively unscathed.

A newly minted student at the Medill School for Journalism, Carolyn said she realized that she had finally found her tribe after decades of uncertainty during a lecture by a highly-regarded professor which effectively melded sage wisdom and copious expletive usage.

week two

[insert photo of some snow-covered street as i am beginning to understand i will be completely obsessed with the weather until summer]

so starting week two of classes. it has been a whirlwind, i suspect mainly because of how many people have told me that this year will be the craziest of my life (versus it actually being that crazy quite yet). last monday was our orientation, all eight hours of it. by the time the reception rolled around at 5 pm, i went immediately to the bar, procured booze, then bee-lined to a chair and sat in it for a few minutes without speaking or making eye contact. i was completely drained.

day two was our editing class, four hours of grammar and punctuation. it will be a useful and painful weekly occurrence.

the rest of the week was/is spent in newswriting. this class is all-day and intensive. i can't manage to put together strings of words to describe it other than my assigned projects will force me to learn how to present news in formats including written features, audio, video, written investigative reporting, written hard news reporting, and such. so far it has proved interesting, if a bit unwieldy, time-wise.

i am learning that journalists like very much to talk (about themselves, about their experiences, about people they know, about you, about people you know, about your experiences, about dude next to you, his experiences, his opinion on the kindle and how digital readers will impact the industry) and don't seem to give much of a fig about efficiency. it doesn't seem to bother most of the class, but it does bother me some. i think that at nearly 32 years old (about 10 years older than everyone else, sort of joking but not entirely) and having had a career where business processes are constantly being evaluated for efficiency... it's difficult to sit in a classroom for six hours when we could have covered the material, the assignment, and a fair amount of bullshit in three. but... that's not a big complaint. i rate the faculty as excellent so far. i've met a few people and they seem cool and interesting and funny. i like the administration. the cafeteria options are pretty shitty, but that's to be expected. i like my apartment. i ordered a new backpack because i didn't own one with a laptop sleeve (that's how long i've been out of school) and i like my new backpack. i am close to school and i like that.

so we shall proceed and see what comes next.

indoors daisy

early observation: it's strange that most activities (and admittedly, i have few these days) are spent in avoidance of being outside. i've never avoided going outside unless it's pouring rain. today, you couldn't get me to leave the building without a crow bar, and it's "warmed up" to 15 degrees. fahrenheit.

sunday bloody sunday

well, it's really only saturday but to say the building above is the only thing i'm thinking about wouldn't be entirely inaccurate. what i'll be doing in that building come monday, to be more precise. not sure what exactly i'm nervous about but i suppose it's just the pre-masters program jitters. what to expect? not sure. haven't been in school in a decade, which is a bit strange to consider. historically i've been a good student but i'll postulate that the rules have changed in the past 10 years.

it is a whopping 10 degrees outside and it's the kind of cold that you can't not think about. forget to pull on your left glove before leaving the building and your hand immediately screams a reminder. i'm kind of dully going through the motions of living without actually having to execute on anything of consequence. the apartment is pretty tiny but trevor and i are delighted to be inside. clear, cold, and sunny.