catching up

what have you been up to?

my life of late has been a study in elder care. i am becoming intimately knowledgeable about the differences between a board-and-care, an assisted living home, and a skilled nursing home. i know what a dementia ward is, and what services it offers as opposed to a board-and-care. i know what different forms of bed and wheelchair alarms there are in existence, and why severely demented grandmas will never be able to sleep in a bed without fall pads and full bed rails. i've resorted to bribery with cheese puffs. it's a whole other world out there.

my grandma is very very lucky that she has one unemployed grandchild and a retired daughter-in-law. she doesn't remember it, but she gets daily visits, lots of snacks, tucked into bed and chatted with, cajoled to eat her meals, hot tea, and strolls around the premises. it's heartbreaking to only provide those creature comforts for the two or three hours you are there, but truthfully it's much more family contact than the average dementia ward resident receives.

you learn things. the staff at both of the two facilities she has occupied in the past month have been surprisingly attentive and observant, and i have learned to be more than grateful for the down 'n dirty CNAs that check on her every 30 minutes, sing songs with her, clean up after her, bathe and feed her. it's like caring for a very stubborn, dexterous, capable, oversized 2-year old.

you also learn that with senility comes suspicion. as a frequent visitor, some residents have routinely found me untrustworthy, others have only shooed me away or flapped at me with sheets on occasion. my old person is the same - anyone she doesn't recognize is instantly suspicious and receives a scowl. we thought it was just her and felt embarrassed about her anti-social ways, but after her roommate, mary, looked me very calmly in the eyes and told me she was waiting for me to leave, i decided this is normal. this is par for the course. don't worry about what it should be and get with what it is.