some vids from last week:
cushion team vs. purple team
Friday, March 28, 2008
frosh
i've been reading celebrity blogs way too damn much. my brain is mush.
its friday night and i couldn't be any happier with my grandma blanket bunched around me on the sofa. fuck that party girl shit. i'm too damn tired.
went to yoga at 7:45 tonight and had a mildly bizarre experience. i say mildly bizarre because after 1.5 years here, it takes some serious weirdness to be rated really bizarre. the teacher was some lanky white dude who spoke his shitty chinese fearlessly, and proved that really large flexible people are just odd. it looks strange, too much going on, too much muscle and flesh and skin all warping matrix-like in front of your face. also, instead of your standard-issue triple ommmmm chant, this motherfucker made us chant the vowels of the alphabet. i'm not kidding. i kept expecting someone to jump out from behind a door and tell us we're on that british show, 'just for laughs' (and damn do i roll when i watch it on the plane).
he was like, 'everyone say ah.'
'ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...'
(i felt like i was at the doctor getting a physical.)
'everyone say eee.'
'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...'
'now oh.'
'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...'
i'm glad he actually stopped after u. i was halfway expecting some 'and sometimes y' bullshit. after he later made some crack about how his job was so easy, he just says stuff and we do it, i knew he was just jacking around, using us for his own petty satisfaction (he also informed us that this was his last class because he got canned). i knew it!
weirdos abound.
what's been going on... not much. work has been getting busy - i spent most of the day running around like some fool trying to hustle sales for a company i don't own.
speaking of weirdos:
this broad had the nerve to sit in front of me on the bus yesterday. excuse moi? this is just furthering my disbelief about the chinese nationals and their love-hate-disregard for their hair. (i will at some point rant about how an entire nation can be cool with running around in public all damn day long with some of the worst bedhead you've ever seen in your life. it's compounded by the fact that chinese folk really do not find hair-washing a priority. oily hair is somewhat 'glued' into place by sebaceous secretions, making for a fine sculpting medium for extreme bedhead. hair hygiene seems to be a curse or crime to be avoided, something that is detrimental to your life, health, and the health of your long and otherwise robust line of descendants. i don't know any other culture in this world that has traditions and folklore supporting hair-washing abstinence.)
i'm effin' geeked about finally having a camera on my phone. i haven't even turned off the loud, faux-shutter click because china is one of those places where you can both run around with a hairstyle like the above and not garner a single stare, and very obviously take multiple pictures of a complete stranger without anyone giving a phuck.
its friday night and i couldn't be any happier with my grandma blanket bunched around me on the sofa. fuck that party girl shit. i'm too damn tired.
went to yoga at 7:45 tonight and had a mildly bizarre experience. i say mildly bizarre because after 1.5 years here, it takes some serious weirdness to be rated really bizarre. the teacher was some lanky white dude who spoke his shitty chinese fearlessly, and proved that really large flexible people are just odd. it looks strange, too much going on, too much muscle and flesh and skin all warping matrix-like in front of your face. also, instead of your standard-issue triple ommmmm chant, this motherfucker made us chant the vowels of the alphabet. i'm not kidding. i kept expecting someone to jump out from behind a door and tell us we're on that british show, 'just for laughs' (and damn do i roll when i watch it on the plane).
he was like, 'everyone say ah.'
'ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...'
(i felt like i was at the doctor getting a physical.)
'everyone say eee.'
'eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...'
'now oh.'
'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...'
i'm glad he actually stopped after u. i was halfway expecting some 'and sometimes y' bullshit. after he later made some crack about how his job was so easy, he just says stuff and we do it, i knew he was just jacking around, using us for his own petty satisfaction (he also informed us that this was his last class because he got canned). i knew it!
weirdos abound.
what's been going on... not much. work has been getting busy - i spent most of the day running around like some fool trying to hustle sales for a company i don't own.
speaking of weirdos:
this broad had the nerve to sit in front of me on the bus yesterday. excuse moi? this is just furthering my disbelief about the chinese nationals and their love-hate-disregard for their hair. (i will at some point rant about how an entire nation can be cool with running around in public all damn day long with some of the worst bedhead you've ever seen in your life. it's compounded by the fact that chinese folk really do not find hair-washing a priority. oily hair is somewhat 'glued' into place by sebaceous secretions, making for a fine sculpting medium for extreme bedhead. hair hygiene seems to be a curse or crime to be avoided, something that is detrimental to your life, health, and the health of your long and otherwise robust line of descendants. i don't know any other culture in this world that has traditions and folklore supporting hair-washing abstinence.)
i'm effin' geeked about finally having a camera on my phone. i haven't even turned off the loud, faux-shutter click because china is one of those places where you can both run around with a hairstyle like the above and not garner a single stare, and very obviously take multiple pictures of a complete stranger without anyone giving a phuck.
Friday, March 21, 2008
oh so cheez
as willie says, we're so disgusting barf barf barf -
)
what i like about this pic is that you can totally see the dude in the car behind us. i do not like so much that the sunlight highlights the pimple on my chin. gross.
what i like about this pic is that you can totally see the dude in the car behind us. i do not like so much that the sunlight highlights the pimple on my chin. gross.
saturday
http://www.badcatpros.com/main.php
that's where i'll be this afternoon. worldwide pillowfight, shanghai chapter. other participating cities include london, beijing, budapest, chicago, copenhagen, melbourne, nyc, paris, vancouver, DC, and more.
not exactly hayward and lijiang. not hating on either, tho. i need to find a pillow that i can get dirty.
sherry is the organizer for the shanghai event. i left her and steph at the diesel-adidas party at 1933 last night, sipping (ok, chugging) free-flow perrier-jouët and shrieking with laughter at the amy winehouse lookalike, and other china hipster-gone-wrong individuals. i couldn't deal. working gal who started with three cocktails after work and tops that off with the slider burgers on jean georges' bar menu only has the capacity of two glasses of bubbly before securing a cab and passing out in it. oops.
i was so tired i decided to put off sleeping by reading, and vaguely remember sitting up, shocked to find the lights still on and discombobulated, and then i suppose turning it off at some point. i just know i woke up this morning after crazy dreams about my mom's burgundy volvo station wagon from high school and trevor in a ranchero hat and a long ponytail, and the lights were off. the neighbor decided that 9:30 am was the perfect time to bump daft punk, so i'm retaliating with the hip hop, pop, and latin smörgåsbord that is my ipod. i think they particularly like nas. i know i do. jerks.
that's where i'll be this afternoon. worldwide pillowfight, shanghai chapter. other participating cities include london, beijing, budapest, chicago, copenhagen, melbourne, nyc, paris, vancouver, DC, and more.
not exactly hayward and lijiang. not hating on either, tho. i need to find a pillow that i can get dirty.
sherry is the organizer for the shanghai event. i left her and steph at the diesel-adidas party at 1933 last night, sipping (ok, chugging) free-flow perrier-jouët and shrieking with laughter at the amy winehouse lookalike, and other china hipster-gone-wrong individuals. i couldn't deal. working gal who started with three cocktails after work and tops that off with the slider burgers on jean georges' bar menu only has the capacity of two glasses of bubbly before securing a cab and passing out in it. oops.
i was so tired i decided to put off sleeping by reading, and vaguely remember sitting up, shocked to find the lights still on and discombobulated, and then i suppose turning it off at some point. i just know i woke up this morning after crazy dreams about my mom's burgundy volvo station wagon from high school and trevor in a ranchero hat and a long ponytail, and the lights were off. the neighbor decided that 9:30 am was the perfect time to bump daft punk, so i'm retaliating with the hip hop, pop, and latin smörgåsbord that is my ipod. i think they particularly like nas. i know i do. jerks.
Monday, March 17, 2008
from friday night
from my flight to beijing on friday night. i was so perturbed and actually nauseated by the time i got into my cab, i had to record my thoughts on the blackberry.
my flight tonight was the worst one i've had in a while. not because anything was wrong with the flight itself - that was fine - but because i was surrounded by a full bouquet of the most vile odors a body can produce.
it started off innocently enough, i sat window and a guy sat aisle. we split the middle seat reasonably between his coat and my bag. then a third shuttle-load of people started boarding and a man sat between us. fine. and then he began to breathe.
every body odor offense that could be committed, he committed. i was O.O., olfactorily offended. he even dug vigorously in his nose when the hot towels came around - wiping the fruits of his labor on the provided towel. i hoped fervently, having just finished using mine to wipe my face, that they don't re-use them on the airlines. but you know that they do.
i could smell the oiliness of his hair (a bit of a feat since he didn't have much) and the rot in his gums. it smelled like a swamp thing shat in his mouth, then wiggled in and died in its murky depths. after our snack was served, i was treated to a string of roiling farts. at this point, i had the napkin from our meal box jammed up my nose. a sour foot scent came wafting about in waves. i looked down at his feet, but he was wearing shoes. someone else near us had decided to add the cherry on this rank sundae.
other than my fragrant flight and hellish time getting back (hello? no liquids of any kind allowed in hand carried bags on any flights... imagine what that does to the security line in this country), the weekend was wonderful and happy. we spent trev's bday night at med, where the environment is a puzzling hybrid of slick japanese eatery-slash-club and the warm homey environment of a mediterranean restaurant..? but the food was commendable. trev started with a cocktail and i started with bubbly, then we graduated to a pinot noir for the mains, and we had the most startling service. the main waiters for our table - there were two who seemingly worked in competition - would pop out from nowhere whenever a dish was placed on the table, or a new drink was introduced, and ask, 'how is your FOOD? [or wine, or whatever]' and when we answered positively, each waiter would beam at us and say, 'THANK you!' you'd of thought they made it themselves. after a bottle of wine, our opinion of the service went from slightly disturbed to downright hilarious, and we giggled our way through dessert.
too short, the weekend.
i came down with some bizarre flu-like thing yesterday (oh, and it was heaven fighting with security at beijing airport while sweating with a fever) but i got in bed pretty much as soon as i got home last night and slept the 9 hours till morning. i woke up around midnight to my neighbor shouting at his family, but i was groggy enough to observe the shouting and presume he was drunk, then gamely fall asleep again. the flu is going around - everyone in the office is dropping like flies. i think i got off rather lightly.
my chest is ragged from coughing - it feels like i swallowed a microplane like a sword-eater, then grated it up and down my windpipe (a fine microplane... like the one used for hard cheese and chocolate). i opted out of yoga tonight in favor of leaving the office before 7 pm, doing a jiu guang run, and then coming home to eat and get in bed before 11. i am allowed days off, right?
right.
my flight tonight was the worst one i've had in a while. not because anything was wrong with the flight itself - that was fine - but because i was surrounded by a full bouquet of the most vile odors a body can produce.
it started off innocently enough, i sat window and a guy sat aisle. we split the middle seat reasonably between his coat and my bag. then a third shuttle-load of people started boarding and a man sat between us. fine. and then he began to breathe.
every body odor offense that could be committed, he committed. i was O.O., olfactorily offended. he even dug vigorously in his nose when the hot towels came around - wiping the fruits of his labor on the provided towel. i hoped fervently, having just finished using mine to wipe my face, that they don't re-use them on the airlines. but you know that they do.
i could smell the oiliness of his hair (a bit of a feat since he didn't have much) and the rot in his gums. it smelled like a swamp thing shat in his mouth, then wiggled in and died in its murky depths. after our snack was served, i was treated to a string of roiling farts. at this point, i had the napkin from our meal box jammed up my nose. a sour foot scent came wafting about in waves. i looked down at his feet, but he was wearing shoes. someone else near us had decided to add the cherry on this rank sundae.
other than my fragrant flight and hellish time getting back (hello? no liquids of any kind allowed in hand carried bags on any flights... imagine what that does to the security line in this country), the weekend was wonderful and happy. we spent trev's bday night at med, where the environment is a puzzling hybrid of slick japanese eatery-slash-club and the warm homey environment of a mediterranean restaurant..? but the food was commendable. trev started with a cocktail and i started with bubbly, then we graduated to a pinot noir for the mains, and we had the most startling service. the main waiters for our table - there were two who seemingly worked in competition - would pop out from nowhere whenever a dish was placed on the table, or a new drink was introduced, and ask, 'how is your FOOD? [or wine, or whatever]' and when we answered positively, each waiter would beam at us and say, 'THANK you!' you'd of thought they made it themselves. after a bottle of wine, our opinion of the service went from slightly disturbed to downright hilarious, and we giggled our way through dessert.
too short, the weekend.
i came down with some bizarre flu-like thing yesterday (oh, and it was heaven fighting with security at beijing airport while sweating with a fever) but i got in bed pretty much as soon as i got home last night and slept the 9 hours till morning. i woke up around midnight to my neighbor shouting at his family, but i was groggy enough to observe the shouting and presume he was drunk, then gamely fall asleep again. the flu is going around - everyone in the office is dropping like flies. i think i got off rather lightly.
my chest is ragged from coughing - it feels like i swallowed a microplane like a sword-eater, then grated it up and down my windpipe (a fine microplane... like the one used for hard cheese and chocolate). i opted out of yoga tonight in favor of leaving the office before 7 pm, doing a jiu guang run, and then coming home to eat and get in bed before 11. i am allowed days off, right?
right.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
hump day
my day today:
8 am - finally roll my ass out of bed and into the shower
9:54 am - bleep into work using the fingerprint machine
11 am - go to china mobile office with my assistant to pay the bills they never sent to me
12 pm - start reviewing all of the mock-up boxes the graphic team made for our packaging review meeting with the founders
1:30 pm - get hungry and go eat
3 pm - start packaging review meeting
5 pm - take christine up on her offer to go down to the cart guy on the corner for some pork-stuffed fried dough goodness (1.4 rmb each)
6:30 pm - leave office for yoga
9:30 pm - leave yoga studio and head for ramen joint with sherry, hip flexors in recovery mode.
11 pm - call trev to say goodnight
today was cush but busy. the rolling into work at 10 thing was an accident - having a head cold and a big meeting today basically meant that i had to be at work, but really just wanted to sleep all day. luckily i keep busy and work is pretty fun, so i can forget about the sore throat and sinus pressure and play with boxes and foam sheets for a few hours.
i was trying to download some pics from the blackberry that i took today but my head is stuffy and the stupid bluetooth thing is eluding me. the manual is in the other room, pretty much meaning that this post will be picture-less. maybe tomorrow?
8 am - finally roll my ass out of bed and into the shower
9:54 am - bleep into work using the fingerprint machine
11 am - go to china mobile office with my assistant to pay the bills they never sent to me
12 pm - start reviewing all of the mock-up boxes the graphic team made for our packaging review meeting with the founders
1:30 pm - get hungry and go eat
3 pm - start packaging review meeting
5 pm - take christine up on her offer to go down to the cart guy on the corner for some pork-stuffed fried dough goodness (1.4 rmb each)
6:30 pm - leave office for yoga
9:30 pm - leave yoga studio and head for ramen joint with sherry, hip flexors in recovery mode.
11 pm - call trev to say goodnight
today was cush but busy. the rolling into work at 10 thing was an accident - having a head cold and a big meeting today basically meant that i had to be at work, but really just wanted to sleep all day. luckily i keep busy and work is pretty fun, so i can forget about the sore throat and sinus pressure and play with boxes and foam sheets for a few hours.
i was trying to download some pics from the blackberry that i took today but my head is stuffy and the stupid bluetooth thing is eluding me. the manual is in the other room, pretty much meaning that this post will be picture-less. maybe tomorrow?
Thursday, March 06, 2008
canto luuuuuuv
this is what i was doing this weekend...
this little number came before the food, mind you. biann and i hadn't eaten in something like 8 hours by this point, so i was feeling close to suicidal when the lights dimmed and i realized what was going to happen. after a few notes i realized the amazingness and mustered enough energy to record it for what would no doubt be lots of enjoyment later...
this little number came before the food, mind you. biann and i hadn't eaten in something like 8 hours by this point, so i was feeling close to suicidal when the lights dimmed and i realized what was going to happen. after a few notes i realized the amazingness and mustered enough energy to record it for what would no doubt be lots of enjoyment later...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
cold as a motha
cyn and i are hashing over the latest hollywood gossip. and the whole hk edis*n chen thing. did you see the pics? scan-do-licious.
my ass is typing with some froze-ass fingers because stupid shanghai went and dropped back down into the 30s this week. about this i am quite salty. there's nothing meaner than weather that goes from icicle to semi-balmy and then back to icicle. in our world, we call that 'so not right.'
i came from my new level 3 putonghua class. it was alright. at least its only twice a week and only 2 hours a day this time around. i had the foresight to run to paul's (as i always have the wisdom to do before class) and purchase copious amounts of overpriced bread. the effin' regular baguette just increased from rmb 14 to 18. jerks. i gnawed on an olive-embedded baguette for a snack whilst walking from the west tower to the east. it's only a matter of a 45-second commute, but i managed to consume about half the baguette. the closer i got to my classroom, the bigger the hunks were that i tore off, and the less i chewed them. i wonder sometimes if my intestines aren't poked full of holes.
alright. i'm cold and have to get up early tomorrow. i hope the goddamn rats or whatever it is that lives in my walls and kept me up with squeaking and scratching last night has the common sense to make noise downstairs for the neighbors and not me. this will be the 5th night in a row without decent r.e.m. and mankind may plummet because of it.
over and out.
my ass is typing with some froze-ass fingers because stupid shanghai went and dropped back down into the 30s this week. about this i am quite salty. there's nothing meaner than weather that goes from icicle to semi-balmy and then back to icicle. in our world, we call that 'so not right.'
i came from my new level 3 putonghua class. it was alright. at least its only twice a week and only 2 hours a day this time around. i had the foresight to run to paul's (as i always have the wisdom to do before class) and purchase copious amounts of overpriced bread. the effin' regular baguette just increased from rmb 14 to 18. jerks. i gnawed on an olive-embedded baguette for a snack whilst walking from the west tower to the east. it's only a matter of a 45-second commute, but i managed to consume about half the baguette. the closer i got to my classroom, the bigger the hunks were that i tore off, and the less i chewed them. i wonder sometimes if my intestines aren't poked full of holes.
alright. i'm cold and have to get up early tomorrow. i hope the goddamn rats or whatever it is that lives in my walls and kept me up with squeaking and scratching last night has the common sense to make noise downstairs for the neighbors and not me. this will be the 5th night in a row without decent r.e.m. and mankind may plummet because of it.
over and out.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
dreams
i dreamt last night that one of my eyes fell out and so i carried it around in a tea cup, looking for a doctor.
the night before i dreamt i saw an ex and his hair was overgrown and shaggy and his eyelids had fallen and were droopy.
what's with the presence of eyes in dreams?
the night before i dreamt i saw an ex and his hair was overgrown and shaggy and his eyelids had fallen and were droopy.
what's with the presence of eyes in dreams?
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
happy v day
for my general amusement -
whatd u guys have for dinner
sister: er
pigsfeet and hair
chicken
cabbage
me: did dad buy mom the requisite see's candy in the old heart box?
pigs feet and hair?!
sounds delish
sister: you know the faat choy or whatever that is usually in jai?
it was actually pretty good
me: yeah i know
i like that stuff
sister: dad didn't get shit for
mom, not even the sees
me: dang
cold, man, cold
sister: i know
mom got desserts at la farine
me: you can tell him i said that
sister: dad says he's become an orthodox hindu that disapproves of valentines day
me: lmao
wtf
he's hella random
why do hindu disapprove of valentine's day
sister: too risque
me: it can be conservative love day
sister: hehe
btw, your cat is hells of fat
whatd u guys have for dinner
sister: er
pigsfeet and hair
chicken
cabbage
me: did dad buy mom the requisite see's candy in the old heart box?
pigs feet and hair?!
sounds delish
sister: you know the faat choy or whatever that is usually in jai?
it was actually pretty good
me: yeah i know
i like that stuff
sister: dad didn't get shit for
mom, not even the sees
me: dang
cold, man, cold
sister: i know
mom got desserts at la farine
me: you can tell him i said that
sister: dad says he's become an orthodox hindu that disapproves of valentines day
me: lmao
wtf
he's hella random
why do hindu disapprove of valentine's day
sister: too risque
me: it can be conservative love day
sister: hehe
btw, your cat is hells of fat
Thursday, February 14, 2008
latest cat update
sister: kvgbkvbkvb (from scarlett who's on my lap)
me: hi scarly
whats she up to
sister: oh sleeping under the library chair in the
living room again. and sharpening her claws on the under side of the chair!
I caught her the other day on her back with all 4 claws in the chair!
me: lol
the usual
sister: yup
me: i am thinking about taking her to denver
sister: please do!
me: i hope she doesn't freak out again
sister: shes rubbing her face on the monitor
me: yeah
she'll bat the cursor, too, if she sees it
sister: mom will be pleased
she says, get away from me, you! to her all the time
me: lol
yeah, poor scarly
no one plays with her
she's a brat
sister: dad says it sounds like a fantastic idea, she will love the snow
me: lol
i'm going to teach her to board
me: hi scarly
whats she up to
sister: oh sleeping under the library chair in the
living room again. and sharpening her claws on the under side of the chair!
I caught her the other day on her back with all 4 claws in the chair!
me: lol
the usual
sister: yup
me: i am thinking about taking her to denver
sister: please do!
me: i hope she doesn't freak out again
sister: shes rubbing her face on the monitor
me: yeah
she'll bat the cursor, too, if she sees it
sister: mom will be pleased
she says, get away from me, you! to her all the time
me: lol
yeah, poor scarly
no one plays with her
she's a brat
sister: dad says it sounds like a fantastic idea, she will love the snow
me: lol
i'm going to teach her to board
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
wednesday surfing
there are people as ridiculous as me -
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/la/inspiration/streamlining-the-medicine-cabinet-042601
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/la/inspiration/streamlining-the-medicine-cabinet-042601
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
two wheels
for christmas, trevor proved what a good listener he is and presented men with a bicycle. i had been going on one day about how much i wanted one, especially since steph has one and we can go riding around the city. it has, since then, been sitting on the first floor of my building, gathering dust. it's lovely, actually, if i'm allowed to say that about a bicycle. i loved it upon sight - pearl white with green detailing, a happy reincarnation of my snowboard in bicycle form. like most bicycles here, it's a one-gear beach cruiser. just my speed - i can drive any manual transmission, but give me gears on a bike and i freeze up.
i had been stalling about riding it - something was always wrong. too cold, snow on the ground, i don't know the roads well enough, something. i was super excited to try, but also scared. i have a thing with bikes, some weird nervous chickenshit craziness. i remember as a kid riding around all the time, tearing up and down the joint like my ass was on fire. more recently i'm a nervous wreck and i guess two disastrous vacations expeditions involving mountain biking haven't really helped to alleviate that.
long intro aside, i finally got into the saddle this afternoon. and, drumroll... it was lots of fun, actually. a bit annoying because there are several big streets around me that bikes aren't allowed on, so i had to figure out some roundabout way to get to jiu guang for some grocery shopping. i tried riding on the sidewalks for a bit, but if you've ever tried walking - let alone riding a bike - on a sidewalk in urban china, well, it's not the best way to alleviate fears. the next concern was theft - my bike is shiny new and white. it literally gleams next to the other stacks of bikes standing by. trevor bought a couple of locks, but they're really more of a deterrent and anyway i'm just a big worrywart.
the impetus behind the bike riding arrived in the form of a fitness plan. i was cruising around on yahoo and somehow landed in the yahoo health section, and started idly reading the various articles and blogs about fitness and nutrition. (all of this as a method of procrastination for studying chinese.) lots of this at this time of year because of those resolutions, i expect, but also the reality is that most people that live in china carry a bit more weight than they do at home so i'm always aware of how crappy my fitness level is these days. it's hard to buy the nonfat yadda yadda or the flax seed this and that here, and most chinese food is oil city. i don't run outside because we are all concerned here about the repercussions of running outdoors in a highly polluted area. when i first arrived, i lost a ton of weight pretty quickly, but that was due to the non-sitting-all day, no-car change of status that my life underwent. i'm now back to the sitting-all-day business, and my gut reflects it. ew. i also took this free diet/fitness assessment where your diet is analyzed not only for calories + fat, but also for your nutrition. i'm think about my diet here a lot because i know how i am - the easiest thing for me to get is new york deli sandwiches (MONSTER MEAT sized, no less, because it would just be too much for me to consider eating in moderation) for lunch, and something fast at night since i get home so late. recently it's been these dried japanese noodles that i can't stop eating. my diet is abhorrent. i bought a big costco bag of raw almonds for snacks, but i also space out meals with crackers and those rice seaweed triangles from family mart. i'm a fast food junkie these days. if it's not ready in under 10 minutes, fuck it!
anyway, i do the yoga classes during the week, but every little bit helps, right?
p.s. the point of this entry was supposed to revolve around a conquering-my-fears theme but it really is turning into c's diet gripes. sorry.
snow 2008
so those of you outside of china were probably hearing about all of the severe weather that was hitting china the week before and of cny. i've heard that it may snow on occasion here, but it's pretty rare and never sticks.
here are some photos of the snow (from the week before cny) coming down outside of my office, which is located on the bund. the bund area is a stretch of buildings on the huangpu river where a lot of the ritzy boutiques, restaurants, and clubs are located. it's kind of annoying - especially if you work there - but the buildings are heritage architecture and are quite pretty.
out the front window looking at #3 bund
out the back window where some of the smaller buildings (residences) hide behind the grander bund structures
here are some photos of the snow (from the week before cny) coming down outside of my office, which is located on the bund. the bund area is a stretch of buildings on the huangpu river where a lot of the ritzy boutiques, restaurants, and clubs are located. it's kind of annoying - especially if you work there - but the buildings are heritage architecture and are quite pretty.
out the front window looking at #3 bund
out the back window where some of the smaller buildings (residences) hide behind the grander bund structures
Monday, February 11, 2008
asymptomatic
t left today for his chinese new year trip to guiyang. he spent a year or so down there during his block of years here, and it proved a defining time for him. he has a good friend down there and spends the time with the friend and the friend's family. when asked to describe guiyang, he usually says something like, 'its the capital of the poorest province in china' to which i usually interject some smartass comment about how he beelined for the poorest area whereas i would run far far away from anything that sounded that grim. but he loves it down there, has a great time, and that's that.
recovery from over 2 weeks of having couple-time is in-process. because its still the cny holiday and my friends have literally all fled the country, i'm in no mood to venture out. it would just be more of the same. my holiday consisted of watching 'rome,' cooking, eating, and taking walks with t. the longest time we spent apart for these 5 days was yesterday afternoon when i took a yoga class and he met his buddy for meat sticks and beers. i think we would make most people vomit, including myself.
last night must have been some specific day in the new year where it is auspicious to blow up all of the explosives you can get your hands on. the warfare started at dusk and heavy artillery fire did not cease until about 10 this morning. those of you who live here know what i'm talking about - you can't really describe it because verbal accounts don't even come close. i would say it sounded like a battle, but i don't think any military on this planet would have the luxury of using ammunition like firecrackers are used here.
a few days before the actual new years day, our friends all gathered to watch a member of the social circler, anthony, in his annual tradition of blowing shit up. he spent 1200 rmb on fireworks this year. i thought they were bringing in cases of beer, but they were 12-packs or 18-packs of rockets, and giant wheels of firecrackers laced together. these are not the measly little bottle rockets we get at home, these mothers were loud, powerful, and housed together so you need only light one wick on a case to set off about 12 rockets. it was pretty awesome, actually. a bit concerning knowing how many knuckleheads there are out there and how completely unregulated it is, but fun nevertheless.
i dropped a short video in here for your enjoyment. this was last night from my bedroom window. unfortunately i didn't think to film during midnight, when it honestly sounded like we were in the middle of an air raid, but this does pretty well to demonstrate what was going on all around. mind you, i live in one of the most densely populated areas in the city, so these are blowing up in between apartment buildings in narrow lanes that cars can't even squeeze through.
recovery from over 2 weeks of having couple-time is in-process. because its still the cny holiday and my friends have literally all fled the country, i'm in no mood to venture out. it would just be more of the same. my holiday consisted of watching 'rome,' cooking, eating, and taking walks with t. the longest time we spent apart for these 5 days was yesterday afternoon when i took a yoga class and he met his buddy for meat sticks and beers. i think we would make most people vomit, including myself.
last night must have been some specific day in the new year where it is auspicious to blow up all of the explosives you can get your hands on. the warfare started at dusk and heavy artillery fire did not cease until about 10 this morning. those of you who live here know what i'm talking about - you can't really describe it because verbal accounts don't even come close. i would say it sounded like a battle, but i don't think any military on this planet would have the luxury of using ammunition like firecrackers are used here.
a few days before the actual new years day, our friends all gathered to watch a member of the social circler, anthony, in his annual tradition of blowing shit up. he spent 1200 rmb on fireworks this year. i thought they were bringing in cases of beer, but they were 12-packs or 18-packs of rockets, and giant wheels of firecrackers laced together. these are not the measly little bottle rockets we get at home, these mothers were loud, powerful, and housed together so you need only light one wick on a case to set off about 12 rockets. it was pretty awesome, actually. a bit concerning knowing how many knuckleheads there are out there and how completely unregulated it is, but fun nevertheless.
i dropped a short video in here for your enjoyment. this was last night from my bedroom window. unfortunately i didn't think to film during midnight, when it honestly sounded like we were in the middle of an air raid, but this does pretty well to demonstrate what was going on all around. mind you, i live in one of the most densely populated areas in the city, so these are blowing up in between apartment buildings in narrow lanes that cars can't even squeeze through.
Friday, February 08, 2008
and me, incredulous
i have been accused, more than one or two times, that i speak condescendingly, that i am patronizing and arrogant. my usual response (mentally) is that i can't help it if everyone around me is stupid. sometimes i'm not kidding, sometimes i am. i don't necessarily think that everyone is dumb, but i do think that most people suffer from not-paying-attention-itis, which gets complicated when i am and i expect that you were, as well, so when i go on to start a lively discussion about what just happened, or what happened three hours ago, or what happened six months ago, i am frustrated when met with blank stares.
this is quite frustrating.
i also usually remember, verbatim, what so-and-so said during an argument or conversation. it really doesn't matter to me if the conversation was three years ago or three minutes ago; usually if i remember a conversation, i remember it and that's that. so it puzzles me when people aren't the same way, or worse, they start arguing in contradiction to what they were arguing about previously. i don't understand how you can have an opinion about something to the point where you are representing one side of a debate, and next time 'round you suddenly do the 'ol switcheroo and are on the other. that doesn't work in my world. does not compute.
i have also never really understood mainstream feminism (this is going somewhere, i promise. bear with me). i studied feminism in college, and found it baffling and alienating because of the rage and divisiveness in the rhetoric. it seemed unreasonable and self-limiting. this may be why i make a damn poor activist. i remember one girl in a social movements class, taunting some guy who didn't understand some point or another about cesar chavez, but making it a gender-based taunt. something about him being a man and life being so easy because of it. it seemed unnecessary, forced, and honestly a bit beside the point. to be filled with that much rage about him being a guy and being somewhat lame didn't fulfill a purpose. moreover, cesar chavez was a man. so what the fuck?
that said (wait for it...), i am finding that the older i am, and the more experience i have with interacting with the opposite sex, that i am starting to draw broad conclusions about the simplicity and somewhat low-IQ behavior of most dudes. sorry, guys, it blows my mind as well. i actually found myself on the verge of shouting, 'what you don't know could fill a book!' i am turning into that girl in my lecture.
seriously, tho. i am met with behaviors that make me want to beat my face against the wall and make those 'donk donk donk' noises. the gender divide just gets wider and wider the older i get. is it me? i know i had a hard time accepting that i was a girl for maybe the first 25 years of my life, but that was mostly because i had and have a thing about emotions, and expressing them, unless it included rage or ego. emotions were for girls, so count me out. but the older i get, the more i learn about guile, and the more i associate it with females, and the more i understand that guys don't have a goddamned clue. you could club them over the head with the reason that their ex-girlfriends thought for 11 months that they would be getting back together and still get the blank stare. some even have the nerve to argue.
pshh. please. i am surrounded by fools.
this is quite frustrating.
i also usually remember, verbatim, what so-and-so said during an argument or conversation. it really doesn't matter to me if the conversation was three years ago or three minutes ago; usually if i remember a conversation, i remember it and that's that. so it puzzles me when people aren't the same way, or worse, they start arguing in contradiction to what they were arguing about previously. i don't understand how you can have an opinion about something to the point where you are representing one side of a debate, and next time 'round you suddenly do the 'ol switcheroo and are on the other. that doesn't work in my world. does not compute.
i have also never really understood mainstream feminism (this is going somewhere, i promise. bear with me). i studied feminism in college, and found it baffling and alienating because of the rage and divisiveness in the rhetoric. it seemed unreasonable and self-limiting. this may be why i make a damn poor activist. i remember one girl in a social movements class, taunting some guy who didn't understand some point or another about cesar chavez, but making it a gender-based taunt. something about him being a man and life being so easy because of it. it seemed unnecessary, forced, and honestly a bit beside the point. to be filled with that much rage about him being a guy and being somewhat lame didn't fulfill a purpose. moreover, cesar chavez was a man. so what the fuck?
that said (wait for it...), i am finding that the older i am, and the more experience i have with interacting with the opposite sex, that i am starting to draw broad conclusions about the simplicity and somewhat low-IQ behavior of most dudes. sorry, guys, it blows my mind as well. i actually found myself on the verge of shouting, 'what you don't know could fill a book!' i am turning into that girl in my lecture.
seriously, tho. i am met with behaviors that make me want to beat my face against the wall and make those 'donk donk donk' noises. the gender divide just gets wider and wider the older i get. is it me? i know i had a hard time accepting that i was a girl for maybe the first 25 years of my life, but that was mostly because i had and have a thing about emotions, and expressing them, unless it included rage or ego. emotions were for girls, so count me out. but the older i get, the more i learn about guile, and the more i associate it with females, and the more i understand that guys don't have a goddamned clue. you could club them over the head with the reason that their ex-girlfriends thought for 11 months that they would be getting back together and still get the blank stare. some even have the nerve to argue.
pshh. please. i am surrounded by fools.
Friday, January 25, 2008
friday nights
isn't there some football sitcom that's entitled something something friday nights?
it snowed a little again today. i'm so glad this week was over. i was bitching and moaning to trev like on tuesday night or something that i wanted life to end, that i was too tired to live through this week. honestly i don't know how he puts up with my ass. i'm such a drama queen sometimes. in my own defense (to my own criticism), i always mean it at the time, i'm not trying to be disingenuous. but damn, he must be rolling his eyes when he listens to me. seriously. he deserves a gold star for not strangling me this week.
but i guess its hard to strangle someone remotely.
hello, firecrackers! apparently chinizzle new year is off the hinges with the firecrackers. i wouldn't know. last year this time cyn and i were busy getting ripped off in vietnam. we didn't even have pho that was exemplary. wherever all the good shit is in the country, we fucking missed it. usually i don't want to leave whatever country i'm in. this time i couldn't wait to bail and find someplace better. wrong, huh.
so my latest thing is to come home, switch on the radiator and mattress heat, wash up, and immediately get into bed. its too cold to heat up the other parts of the house without it being a complete waste of energy, and i get home late enough where going to sleep immediately is feasible. of course i just sit and fuck around until way too late and end up pissed at myself in the morning, but the farting around part is fun.
am i hungry or not. hmm. i ate dinner at like 5:30, being overexcited that it was the weekend and i could order burritos from ny deli. i ate half and stuffed the other half in my bag with my manolos. then i looked down at my beautiful sage green suede bag with the huge sheng jian bao grease splat on it (from last week, oops) and wondered if that was such a good idea. made it home (and through a 70 minute shiatsu treatment) just fine, tho.
it snowed a little again today. i'm so glad this week was over. i was bitching and moaning to trev like on tuesday night or something that i wanted life to end, that i was too tired to live through this week. honestly i don't know how he puts up with my ass. i'm such a drama queen sometimes. in my own defense (to my own criticism), i always mean it at the time, i'm not trying to be disingenuous. but damn, he must be rolling his eyes when he listens to me. seriously. he deserves a gold star for not strangling me this week.
but i guess its hard to strangle someone remotely.
hello, firecrackers! apparently chinizzle new year is off the hinges with the firecrackers. i wouldn't know. last year this time cyn and i were busy getting ripped off in vietnam. we didn't even have pho that was exemplary. wherever all the good shit is in the country, we fucking missed it. usually i don't want to leave whatever country i'm in. this time i couldn't wait to bail and find someplace better. wrong, huh.
so my latest thing is to come home, switch on the radiator and mattress heat, wash up, and immediately get into bed. its too cold to heat up the other parts of the house without it being a complete waste of energy, and i get home late enough where going to sleep immediately is feasible. of course i just sit and fuck around until way too late and end up pissed at myself in the morning, but the farting around part is fun.
am i hungry or not. hmm. i ate dinner at like 5:30, being overexcited that it was the weekend and i could order burritos from ny deli. i ate half and stuffed the other half in my bag with my manolos. then i looked down at my beautiful sage green suede bag with the huge sheng jian bao grease splat on it (from last week, oops) and wondered if that was such a good idea. made it home (and through a 70 minute shiatsu treatment) just fine, tho.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
no reward in sight. must procrastinate.
so i really must do two of two things. one is check my work email, review the revised presentation, and update my notes to reflect the changes so i don't suck ass at the client pitch tomorrow. the second is to do my rather extensive mandarin homework assignment for tomorrow's class. can't do it during lunch because i'll be pitching to the client at that point in time.
so what am i doing then? of course. feasting on ayi's jiaozi and roasting my toesies in front of the heater. watching scrubs season 6 and writing in the blog. so so def.
mandarin class was brutal today, only because i can really be a dunce sometimes. i have a theory: once the synapse has occurred and the track has been laid in my brain about what something is, if i learn it incorrectly, i can't fix it. i can't fix what 'yi dianr' means vs. 'yi xiar' because i wrote it wrong in my notebook, and when conjuring up how to use those two phrases, i recall how it looks in my notes and always pick the wrong one.
wtf is wrong with me? my cognition is too heavily visual.
some french dude participated in our class tonight as a makeup class, and tho his english was fair, his french accent was entertaining. imagine hearing 'mapodoufu' with a french accent. i had to use my eyedrops in an effort to not giggle.
this week is going to suck. i keep telling myself - something that always works when i'm feeling panicky and stressed - that it's just an hour. or a week. and how many gajillions of those have i lived? it's nothing, a drop in the bucket. it'll be over before you know it.
i'm surprised that there are walls in my apartment. i am so cold and getting accosted by so many drafts that i feel like i'm typing on the roof. how can one make an apartment with so many invisible holes? as sherry says, so not right.
as i curse to (and at) myself every day, i can't believe i'm paying this much for such a stupid apartment. in china.
ok. i'm off for a flossing and brushing session that will be followed nicely with a snoring session.
so what am i doing then? of course. feasting on ayi's jiaozi and roasting my toesies in front of the heater. watching scrubs season 6 and writing in the blog. so so def.
mandarin class was brutal today, only because i can really be a dunce sometimes. i have a theory: once the synapse has occurred and the track has been laid in my brain about what something is, if i learn it incorrectly, i can't fix it. i can't fix what 'yi dianr' means vs. 'yi xiar' because i wrote it wrong in my notebook, and when conjuring up how to use those two phrases, i recall how it looks in my notes and always pick the wrong one.
wtf is wrong with me? my cognition is too heavily visual.
some french dude participated in our class tonight as a makeup class, and tho his english was fair, his french accent was entertaining. imagine hearing 'mapodoufu' with a french accent. i had to use my eyedrops in an effort to not giggle.
this week is going to suck. i keep telling myself - something that always works when i'm feeling panicky and stressed - that it's just an hour. or a week. and how many gajillions of those have i lived? it's nothing, a drop in the bucket. it'll be over before you know it.
i'm surprised that there are walls in my apartment. i am so cold and getting accosted by so many drafts that i feel like i'm typing on the roof. how can one make an apartment with so many invisible holes? as sherry says, so not right.
as i curse to (and at) myself every day, i can't believe i'm paying this much for such a stupid apartment. in china.
ok. i'm off for a flossing and brushing session that will be followed nicely with a snoring session.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
the mechanics of missing
i listen to my girlfriends' stories, mine through them for motivation, for reason, for patterns. bad behavior can usually be filtered down to one or two simple reasons - attention and insecurity. related to each other, sometimes, often. behaviors that seem irrational frequently have a very ordinary, very logical explanation, if you look carefully enough. humans are so much more human than we give us credit for.
a few days short of my 30th birthday. as always, i'm relatively underwhelmed about the whole thing. i catch a few moments of excitement from my friends' enthusiasm, but in the end no one's here to celebrate it and the birthday fairy isn't descending from the heavens to plan it for me, so i'll end up doing what i was going to do originally. not much. i think trev will be down here and we'll likely go to dinner or something, but the candlelit romantic crapity bullshit dinner is not what i have in mind. i'd rather have the world's best jiaozi or pulled noodles or something. nice dinners are... nice, but they remind me of going on dates and feeling awkward.
looking back on my 20s, especially in the current phase i'm experiencing, is a calibration of the times when i banged my head on walls hard enough to learn something from it. oh, that time. oh, right, that one. that's how a guy looks when he's scrambling for lies to tell you. that's what a company does when it's in trouble. that's how things fall apart when you don't keep your mouth shut about your friend's new boyfriend.
all of these chronicles of hardship. good things, too, but i'm in no mood to conjure them up. in the marathon that is a long distance relationship, i'm about halfway through and feeling like i could just sideline to the mall over there, rip the number off of my chest, and look for a place that sells lemonade. try to blend in. it's the dailiness of the absence that's started its wily erosion. it's spending yet another week with only yoga and the company of the only two people i can stand to be around these days to look forward to.
i try to look back on my 20s and learn from them to get me through this. what have i learned, what do i know about myself that will help me understand why i'm suddenly inconsolable about a single word, the way something is phrased, the hint of impatience in his voice. why two hours on skype isn't enough. why i suddenly need something so badly i want to walk out of my office at 2 in the afternoon and fall into an abyss. when was the last time i felt like this? before the epic meltdown of 2006. what drove that? work pressure and the perfectionist devil sitting on my shoulder. how did i deal with it? i brought down the house. i am, if nothing, impactful.
some people who know me well blame it on work. stop taking work home with you, don't be so hard on yourself. quit your job. you're sounding like you need to see a shrink. don't obsess. my answer to that was that you're telling a person who has obsessive patterns and rules by which she lives to not obsess. my my, that is a blunt tool we are using. try a laser, those are more sophisticated.
i can't dissect right now. i don't have the clarity i need to pinpoint the culprit for the moods, the sadness. the fatigue. the quicksilver of pain in the back of the throat. feeling like the world is too heavy. if i had a handful of percoset i'd make a damn fine addict. i am feeling that sharon stone had it pretty good in casino. lolling around in satin nightgowns, downing painkillers. wearing bad 80s hair.
going to sleep.
a few days short of my 30th birthday. as always, i'm relatively underwhelmed about the whole thing. i catch a few moments of excitement from my friends' enthusiasm, but in the end no one's here to celebrate it and the birthday fairy isn't descending from the heavens to plan it for me, so i'll end up doing what i was going to do originally. not much. i think trev will be down here and we'll likely go to dinner or something, but the candlelit romantic crapity bullshit dinner is not what i have in mind. i'd rather have the world's best jiaozi or pulled noodles or something. nice dinners are... nice, but they remind me of going on dates and feeling awkward.
looking back on my 20s, especially in the current phase i'm experiencing, is a calibration of the times when i banged my head on walls hard enough to learn something from it. oh, that time. oh, right, that one. that's how a guy looks when he's scrambling for lies to tell you. that's what a company does when it's in trouble. that's how things fall apart when you don't keep your mouth shut about your friend's new boyfriend.
all of these chronicles of hardship. good things, too, but i'm in no mood to conjure them up. in the marathon that is a long distance relationship, i'm about halfway through and feeling like i could just sideline to the mall over there, rip the number off of my chest, and look for a place that sells lemonade. try to blend in. it's the dailiness of the absence that's started its wily erosion. it's spending yet another week with only yoga and the company of the only two people i can stand to be around these days to look forward to.
i try to look back on my 20s and learn from them to get me through this. what have i learned, what do i know about myself that will help me understand why i'm suddenly inconsolable about a single word, the way something is phrased, the hint of impatience in his voice. why two hours on skype isn't enough. why i suddenly need something so badly i want to walk out of my office at 2 in the afternoon and fall into an abyss. when was the last time i felt like this? before the epic meltdown of 2006. what drove that? work pressure and the perfectionist devil sitting on my shoulder. how did i deal with it? i brought down the house. i am, if nothing, impactful.
some people who know me well blame it on work. stop taking work home with you, don't be so hard on yourself. quit your job. you're sounding like you need to see a shrink. don't obsess. my answer to that was that you're telling a person who has obsessive patterns and rules by which she lives to not obsess. my my, that is a blunt tool we are using. try a laser, those are more sophisticated.
i can't dissect right now. i don't have the clarity i need to pinpoint the culprit for the moods, the sadness. the fatigue. the quicksilver of pain in the back of the throat. feeling like the world is too heavy. if i had a handful of percoset i'd make a damn fine addict. i am feeling that sharon stone had it pretty good in casino. lolling around in satin nightgowns, downing painkillers. wearing bad 80s hair.
going to sleep.
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