today a whole lotta nothing. it's sunday, the sunday before a big holiday, so most people have to work the weekend in order to 'earn' the full 7 days off starting on tuesday. that's how it works in china. so everyone worked saturday and today and will work tomorrow, then they can have the week off. lame, yeah?
i had high designs to get up this morning and meet people for brunch at 1 pm and go to the cool foreign bookstore with sherry, but my eyes opened at 1:50 pm and then i saw the rain outside. the best i could muster was the 7:15 bikram class and that was it. talked to my sister about how the open house for my condo went and it sounded dismal. cruised craigslist for comparison shopping because we're going to sell off most of my furniture. not too productive.
the friggin yoga studio was SO hot today i couldn't hang. usually i stay after and hang out in shivasana for a while, letting all the 'healing' and crap happen, but it was so hot today that i just got up and bailed when class was over. after a cool shower i was still sweating. fuck the makeup - it woulda just slid off my face anyway - run outside where it's cool. they keep the locker room at about 85 degrees so that doesn't help in the slightest.
you sweat like a bitch in bikram but my problem is the snot. something about the intense heat or the movements make my sinuses release and i'm the snot queen for the next 90 minutes. it's downright embarrassing to be in all these random poses and to have a snot thread connecting your face with the towel. i guess maybe a smarter person would bring in some kleenex or smth but i don't remember to, plus i'm self-conscious about blowing fat wads of shit in a relatively silent room. i shouldn't be - i am in china, after all. people belch and fart openly all the time. i don't know, i just can't bring myself to do it.
cyn came home with 2 boxes of beard papa cream puffs that didn't make it on time to a bbq. i ate one, but didn't do a very good job of trying to finish off the 12 puffs that came home. oh well. $10 of cream puffs down the drain.
heading down to guangzhou on the 7th, about which i am not excited. i'm hoping my friend dave will be down there at the same time so i can at least see one friendly english-speaking face. ugh. when i get back, tho, my godbrother willie should be in town, and that's just gonna be fun. maybe we should have a dinner party.
it's midnight and i'm ready for bed. i've only been awake 9 hours. despicable. must be the pinot.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
i'm a lawn girl
so after getting to bed past 5 am yesterday (it was getting light out) and not being able to sleep past noon, you'd think that i - of the mandatory 9 hours of sleep or else i shut down - would have called it an early night tonight. i was going to, really. i was just going to cruise by de la coast and holla at sherry plus meet the shoe designer she was showcasing for a possible story lead that i pitched the other day.
but here i am at 4 am, blogging. laying out my thoughts in a tidy little quilt that makes up my day. i like to pretend that i have to do this while i wait for the melatonin to kick in.
i stayed at dlc because i just kept having good conversations. i think i met my most favoritist gay couple ever tonight. i bonded with them about baking. and then one of the couple asked if i wanted to be a mystery shopper or diner, where they pay for your food and you can bring a friend. hello?! i'm all over that like a cheap suit. and i got to catch up with spanish eric, which is nice. and then i was laying on the beds that they have overlooking the view and some guy jumped up next to me and we started talking as well. met some 22-year old usc alum who works for disney and we talked about books and authors. i got tons of business cards tonight. fun!
today was a good day to be self-indulgent. i woke up feeling not so refreshed after 7 hours of crappy, fitful sleep and parked in front of the laptop. no one from home really emails on the weekends except for shawn (holla!) so after a while i decided i wanted to make scones. and so i did. considering the fact that i used soymilk instead of cream, they came out pretty well. then i decided to do pilates, so i did it. then i wanted to take a bath, and i did that. i just did whatever the hell struck my fancy and nothing more.
you'd think that as a work-at-home person i do this every day. most days, tho, i barely eat because i get so distracted doing what i'm doing. you'll know it's been a busy or productive day for me when it's 6 pm and i'm still in my pajamas, unfed and hopped up on caffeine, typing furiously with magazines, notebooks, and post-its scattered everywhere. i look like a wild man in the forest, but that's probably one of the days where i'm earning my keep. i honestly don't know how people who work at home keep up appearances. on any given day i'm disheveled and wearing the same outfit 4 days in a row, and my hair is sticking out everywhere. do people who work at home get up and shower and get dressed like people who go into an office? or do they do versions of what i do? how do they stay sane? i was starting to get a little stir crazy last week.
but here i am at 4 am, blogging. laying out my thoughts in a tidy little quilt that makes up my day. i like to pretend that i have to do this while i wait for the melatonin to kick in.
i stayed at dlc because i just kept having good conversations. i think i met my most favoritist gay couple ever tonight. i bonded with them about baking. and then one of the couple asked if i wanted to be a mystery shopper or diner, where they pay for your food and you can bring a friend. hello?! i'm all over that like a cheap suit. and i got to catch up with spanish eric, which is nice. and then i was laying on the beds that they have overlooking the view and some guy jumped up next to me and we started talking as well. met some 22-year old usc alum who works for disney and we talked about books and authors. i got tons of business cards tonight. fun!
today was a good day to be self-indulgent. i woke up feeling not so refreshed after 7 hours of crappy, fitful sleep and parked in front of the laptop. no one from home really emails on the weekends except for shawn (holla!) so after a while i decided i wanted to make scones. and so i did. considering the fact that i used soymilk instead of cream, they came out pretty well. then i decided to do pilates, so i did it. then i wanted to take a bath, and i did that. i just did whatever the hell struck my fancy and nothing more.
you'd think that as a work-at-home person i do this every day. most days, tho, i barely eat because i get so distracted doing what i'm doing. you'll know it's been a busy or productive day for me when it's 6 pm and i'm still in my pajamas, unfed and hopped up on caffeine, typing furiously with magazines, notebooks, and post-its scattered everywhere. i look like a wild man in the forest, but that's probably one of the days where i'm earning my keep. i honestly don't know how people who work at home keep up appearances. on any given day i'm disheveled and wearing the same outfit 4 days in a row, and my hair is sticking out everywhere. do people who work at home get up and shower and get dressed like people who go into an office? or do they do versions of what i do? how do they stay sane? i was starting to get a little stir crazy last week.
Friday, April 27, 2007
protein
one of the things that bothers me about living in china is the carbs. carbs, carbs, everywhere. people eat rice wrapped in dough and then drink insanely sweet soy milk to top it off. i like to think i eat pretty well, that i'm active and stuff, so it's probably not the end of the world. but if you're me then you get hungry about 1.2 hours after eating nothing but carbs and then you're eating again. i just feel like you need protein to anchor yourself, to keep from eating mindless crap that delivers little to no nutritional value.
meat in china is questionable. i am the only person i know here in shanghai that refuses to eat the bbq skewers on the street. something about meat that costs 20 cents USD makes me suspicious. because of this (and after countless, and i do mean countless) tummy aches at the dumpling place next to school because of the grease-filled 'meat' dumplings, it's enough to make you consider vegetarianism. generally, the meat options that i am offered here (unless i make it myself, which equals far too much effort) are sub-par because
A: chicken parts favored include only the wing. that's basically eating skin. wings are cool every so often, but a daily/weekly thing it is not.
B: pork is incredibly fatty if in the ground form, and fatty + gristly if in the chop form
C: beef - see above
anything else i don't really eat frequently enough. i know american meat and poultry receives a lot of flack for the mad cow thing, and the dirty chicken processing thing, and the hormones thing. i understand that and i like to pay way too much for my shit from berkeley bowl to ensure that it's a bit cleaner. but in china, not only do i question everything put in front of me, i also can't even question what i'm questioning, because i don't know how to express my concerns. i'm not sure if what i'm asking about even exists here (hormone-free? free range?). most times i'll just do what my mom taught me - shut up and eat. but i draw the line at those nasty-ass skewers. buses zoom by and lay grit and exhaust all over that shit and people love them. it's grilled rat, people. maybe the expensive ones are cat meat, but that's about as quality as you're gonna get.
so as options i try to eat a lot of peanut butter (found the non-hydrogenated, natural kind at city shop), eggs, dairy. eggs are a frequent option - i dump them in noodles, hard boil them and just hit em with some salt and pepper, whatever. dairy is harder because i'm snobby about cheese and yogurt so i don't end up buying it a lot because the good shit is really cost prohibitive.
fish i am also suspicious of because i keep hearing whisperings about fish caught in these really polluted waters. i mean, fish in the US is already a concern. in china? you better believe there's some nasty mercury sulfur weirdness all imbedded up in there. i ate a ton of fish in hong kong because i was so happy to be around reliable seafood. mainland, tho... i just don't know.
i think a lot about this stuff because as an avid reader of many many women's health and fashion magazines over the years, it's been drilled into my head that (from the extreme dogma of the american woman who struggles with weight and self-image issues) we should aim for low-fat protein like chicken breast, salmon (higher in fat but ok because of the omega-3s), and EVEN some lean beef or pork! legumes. tuna. crab meat from a can. cottage cheese. yogurt. almond butter, soy protein shakes, avocado. these are things that american women are told to eat. it's laughable out here in china. i mean, even as an ABC we know that to chinese people, chicken breast is the throwaway, the garbage. it's so dry my mom only deigns to use it in soup. i do actually like and subscribe to part of the 'magazine' mentality - back in the states i'm a regular at trader joe's and berkeley bowl and i do veggie burgers and eat organic whole grains and flax seeds and all that. but that part of me is switched off here. it's survival unless you're pretty wealthy and can afford the imported expensive stuff. you have to get down and dirty and sort of more practical about food quality and availability in china.
in other news... i took a flow 2 class at the yoga studio yesterday. i am a regular in the bikram classes, but i shy away from flow or anything ashtanga related because of my back problems. but after several months of bikram, i wanted to try again.
holy SHIT. i mean, i was doing ok, my balance and flexibility is decent because of bikram, but at one point the instructor was like, 'ok, now reach your right arm around and grab your foot' and i was like, ok, sure, lady. uh huh. i ain't grabbing shit right now. miraculously, it could be done, but it felt immensely awkward. like, at a junior-high dance awkward. and today i'm so sore that i'm still pre-sore. meaning 24 hours later, my muscles are still so shocked that they haven't gotten around to being truly sore yet, and are still in the extremely fatigued / numbish stage. tomorrow's going to suck.
meat in china is questionable. i am the only person i know here in shanghai that refuses to eat the bbq skewers on the street. something about meat that costs 20 cents USD makes me suspicious. because of this (and after countless, and i do mean countless) tummy aches at the dumpling place next to school because of the grease-filled 'meat' dumplings, it's enough to make you consider vegetarianism. generally, the meat options that i am offered here (unless i make it myself, which equals far too much effort) are sub-par because
A: chicken parts favored include only the wing. that's basically eating skin. wings are cool every so often, but a daily/weekly thing it is not.
B: pork is incredibly fatty if in the ground form, and fatty + gristly if in the chop form
C: beef - see above
anything else i don't really eat frequently enough. i know american meat and poultry receives a lot of flack for the mad cow thing, and the dirty chicken processing thing, and the hormones thing. i understand that and i like to pay way too much for my shit from berkeley bowl to ensure that it's a bit cleaner. but in china, not only do i question everything put in front of me, i also can't even question what i'm questioning, because i don't know how to express my concerns. i'm not sure if what i'm asking about even exists here (hormone-free? free range?). most times i'll just do what my mom taught me - shut up and eat. but i draw the line at those nasty-ass skewers. buses zoom by and lay grit and exhaust all over that shit and people love them. it's grilled rat, people. maybe the expensive ones are cat meat, but that's about as quality as you're gonna get.
so as options i try to eat a lot of peanut butter (found the non-hydrogenated, natural kind at city shop), eggs, dairy. eggs are a frequent option - i dump them in noodles, hard boil them and just hit em with some salt and pepper, whatever. dairy is harder because i'm snobby about cheese and yogurt so i don't end up buying it a lot because the good shit is really cost prohibitive.
fish i am also suspicious of because i keep hearing whisperings about fish caught in these really polluted waters. i mean, fish in the US is already a concern. in china? you better believe there's some nasty mercury sulfur weirdness all imbedded up in there. i ate a ton of fish in hong kong because i was so happy to be around reliable seafood. mainland, tho... i just don't know.
i think a lot about this stuff because as an avid reader of many many women's health and fashion magazines over the years, it's been drilled into my head that (from the extreme dogma of the american woman who struggles with weight and self-image issues) we should aim for low-fat protein like chicken breast, salmon (higher in fat but ok because of the omega-3s), and EVEN some lean beef or pork! legumes. tuna. crab meat from a can. cottage cheese. yogurt. almond butter, soy protein shakes, avocado. these are things that american women are told to eat. it's laughable out here in china. i mean, even as an ABC we know that to chinese people, chicken breast is the throwaway, the garbage. it's so dry my mom only deigns to use it in soup. i do actually like and subscribe to part of the 'magazine' mentality - back in the states i'm a regular at trader joe's and berkeley bowl and i do veggie burgers and eat organic whole grains and flax seeds and all that. but that part of me is switched off here. it's survival unless you're pretty wealthy and can afford the imported expensive stuff. you have to get down and dirty and sort of more practical about food quality and availability in china.
in other news... i took a flow 2 class at the yoga studio yesterday. i am a regular in the bikram classes, but i shy away from flow or anything ashtanga related because of my back problems. but after several months of bikram, i wanted to try again.
holy SHIT. i mean, i was doing ok, my balance and flexibility is decent because of bikram, but at one point the instructor was like, 'ok, now reach your right arm around and grab your foot' and i was like, ok, sure, lady. uh huh. i ain't grabbing shit right now. miraculously, it could be done, but it felt immensely awkward. like, at a junior-high dance awkward. and today i'm so sore that i'm still pre-sore. meaning 24 hours later, my muscles are still so shocked that they haven't gotten around to being truly sore yet, and are still in the extremely fatigued / numbish stage. tomorrow's going to suck.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
lost in paradise
when my sabbatical - or life change, or whatever it is i'm doing - is over, i'm going to think back on my mornings.
granted, they aren't even usually in the morning. when you go to sleep at 3 or 4 am normally, then you wake up almost noon-ish. i get up, take my acidopholus, chug water, turn on the laptop, make myself a latte, and do my rounds of emails and blog checking and various putterings. i'm a younger girl version of my dad. he likes his routine. on weekends he gets up, makes coffee, starts making breakfast - muffins, scones, pancakes, what have you - gets the paper, maybe pokes around outside for a bit. we are two people who are going to be the best retirees ever. except that i have another 30 years to go.
it's funny how you can be so similar to a parent. when i first arrived at my cousin B's in hong kong, his wife, biann would watch me, and i thought maybe i had a booger or something in my teeth, or i had bad table manners. i think she was just observing, though, because later she would tell me several times over the course of those 6 weeks that A: i look exactly like my mother, and B: i act exactly like my father.
i like hearing this stuff. obviously, i love my parents, but i also really like them. i think they're generally good people, and i like how i was raised, and people tend to like my dad a lot, so i guess it's good that i act like him. although i entertain no notion that people like me as much as they like him. he's like alvin, people just see my dad, they might not even know him, and they think he's a cool, nice guy. people see me, and the general feedback i get is that they think i'm stuck up. c'est la vie. i am kinda stuck up. i'm ok with it.
me me me, and more me. isn't this my blog?
so today i need to get shit done. i need to design some tees, call the t-shirt printer dudes, and email more publications. yes! be productive! last night i headed to de la coast for sherry's wednesday socials and i had 2 beers with the free appetizers, then this vodka PR guy that throws parties sends over rounds of shots.
*groan*
shots! on a lovely wednesday evening outside on the terrace! i only had to do 2 rounds, then cyn sailed in with a gold taxi like a knight on a white horse and i was outta there. went home, ate more, and passed out sitting up next to my roommate, who was industriously working on her laptop.
granted, they aren't even usually in the morning. when you go to sleep at 3 or 4 am normally, then you wake up almost noon-ish. i get up, take my acidopholus, chug water, turn on the laptop, make myself a latte, and do my rounds of emails and blog checking and various putterings. i'm a younger girl version of my dad. he likes his routine. on weekends he gets up, makes coffee, starts making breakfast - muffins, scones, pancakes, what have you - gets the paper, maybe pokes around outside for a bit. we are two people who are going to be the best retirees ever. except that i have another 30 years to go.
it's funny how you can be so similar to a parent. when i first arrived at my cousin B's in hong kong, his wife, biann would watch me, and i thought maybe i had a booger or something in my teeth, or i had bad table manners. i think she was just observing, though, because later she would tell me several times over the course of those 6 weeks that A: i look exactly like my mother, and B: i act exactly like my father.
i like hearing this stuff. obviously, i love my parents, but i also really like them. i think they're generally good people, and i like how i was raised, and people tend to like my dad a lot, so i guess it's good that i act like him. although i entertain no notion that people like me as much as they like him. he's like alvin, people just see my dad, they might not even know him, and they think he's a cool, nice guy. people see me, and the general feedback i get is that they think i'm stuck up. c'est la vie. i am kinda stuck up. i'm ok with it.
me me me, and more me. isn't this my blog?
so today i need to get shit done. i need to design some tees, call the t-shirt printer dudes, and email more publications. yes! be productive! last night i headed to de la coast for sherry's wednesday socials and i had 2 beers with the free appetizers, then this vodka PR guy that throws parties sends over rounds of shots.
*groan*
shots! on a lovely wednesday evening outside on the terrace! i only had to do 2 rounds, then cyn sailed in with a gold taxi like a knight on a white horse and i was outta there. went home, ate more, and passed out sitting up next to my roommate, who was industriously working on her laptop.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
will work for food
http://www.smartshanghai.com/blog/700/Trattoria_Isabelle_shanghai
my first restaurant review. michael bauer, here i come!
yeah right.
had dinner with dave last night, who's in town on work stuff. we ate with his business colleagues (10 of us en totale, the other 7 were older, married, very nice). M on the Bund. i wasn't that impressed. it was my first meal on the bund and while my dish was lovely, cyn wasn't enthralled with hers, and the steaks that a lot of the table ordered weren't sublime, as they should be for that price. it was so nice to see dave, tho. he looks fantastic and he informed me that he's much healthier than the last time i saw him. i brought the camera but completely forgot to take pics.
we went downstairs to glamour bar and bumped into the pastry chef from jean georges. yay! cyn met him already and he re-extended his offer to have us come in anytime and sample the goods (pastry, not him, although i suppose we could ask). NICE! that made my night. then we met alvin and the indonesian mafia so that's always nice.
i was im'ing with william yesterday. that's always fun. even though we mostly just trade insults, it's good (not-so-clean) fun that has both of us rollin'. well, i was definitely rollin', and when i told cyn about it, she was rollin', too, so i guess that's what matters. he's been commenting with his usual smartass remarks on the blog, which is hilarious. keep 'em coming, fartyhead.
i've got a nice pic for you to see (i can't figure out how to rip them off the website so i had to snatch a screen shot):
that's frank with me on the clockwork orange night. he's since left the building (the country, actually) and is taking some time off. we'll miss you, spastic! it was one of those 'awwww' moments bc at the end of the night some girl ran up to us and handed frank the photo, all printed out as a postcard. i'm sure he's lost it by now, but it was cool. good idea (mental note).
shout out to sherry for spying the photos.
my first restaurant review. michael bauer, here i come!
yeah right.
had dinner with dave last night, who's in town on work stuff. we ate with his business colleagues (10 of us en totale, the other 7 were older, married, very nice). M on the Bund. i wasn't that impressed. it was my first meal on the bund and while my dish was lovely, cyn wasn't enthralled with hers, and the steaks that a lot of the table ordered weren't sublime, as they should be for that price. it was so nice to see dave, tho. he looks fantastic and he informed me that he's much healthier than the last time i saw him. i brought the camera but completely forgot to take pics.
we went downstairs to glamour bar and bumped into the pastry chef from jean georges. yay! cyn met him already and he re-extended his offer to have us come in anytime and sample the goods (pastry, not him, although i suppose we could ask). NICE! that made my night. then we met alvin and the indonesian mafia so that's always nice.
i was im'ing with william yesterday. that's always fun. even though we mostly just trade insults, it's good (not-so-clean) fun that has both of us rollin'. well, i was definitely rollin', and when i told cyn about it, she was rollin', too, so i guess that's what matters. he's been commenting with his usual smartass remarks on the blog, which is hilarious. keep 'em coming, fartyhead.
i've got a nice pic for you to see (i can't figure out how to rip them off the website so i had to snatch a screen shot):
that's frank with me on the clockwork orange night. he's since left the building (the country, actually) and is taking some time off. we'll miss you, spastic! it was one of those 'awwww' moments bc at the end of the night some girl ran up to us and handed frank the photo, all printed out as a postcard. i'm sure he's lost it by now, but it was cool. good idea (mental note).
shout out to sherry for spying the photos.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
friggin rip-off artists
so occasionally in a bout of procrastination, i'll cruise online for hours, which sometimes includes googling myself and whomever else i think of at the moment. and last night at about 3:30 am, instead of turning up on the usual jean quan list of supporters, guess what i found?
http://www.sinomedia.net/eurobiz/v200704/view0704.html
my little article, submitted to the editor in early january after which i never heard a fucking peep from, just happens to turn up, published. the editor never even responded after i sent him my draft. i was considering sending it to another publication because i thought, obviously, that he didn't like it because he never said a word to me. can you believe this shit?!?! i shot off an immediate email and his response:
uh, no shit. i don't believe that shit for second. if i wasn't so obsessed with google, i'm sure i never would be getting paid for my work. wtf?!?! the magazine is called Eurobiz, but i think it'd be better off being called Chinabiz. i mean, at least then i can be prepared to be ripped off. they sure seemed to have caught on to how things work here.
fucking assholes. that's 1580 rmb they weren't going to pay me.
http://www.sinomedia.net/eurobiz/v200704/view0704.html
my little article, submitted to the editor in early january after which i never heard a fucking peep from, just happens to turn up, published. the editor never even responded after i sent him my draft. i was considering sending it to another publication because i thought, obviously, that he didn't like it because he never said a word to me. can you believe this shit?!?! i shot off an immediate email and his response:
Hi Carolyn,
Yes, we decided to use the article in the April issue. Sorry for not getting back to you earlier – I thought I’d written back, but it appears that I didn’t.
uh, no shit. i don't believe that shit for second. if i wasn't so obsessed with google, i'm sure i never would be getting paid for my work. wtf?!?! the magazine is called Eurobiz, but i think it'd be better off being called Chinabiz. i mean, at least then i can be prepared to be ripped off. they sure seemed to have caught on to how things work here.
fucking assholes. that's 1580 rmb they weren't going to pay me.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
damn near hallucinating
i'm so tired. getting back into yoga after 2 months off will do that. but the file transfer is only halfway done so i guess i'll try to live up to my moniker until it completes.
here's my view right now:
like my skull socks?
it got all cold yesterday and started pouring rain. luckily today was clear, but it got cold. met sherry for lunch at a new restaurant - italian - and then we walked around nan cang lu for a good couple hours, investigating the shops that jer and frank went spastic on last weekend. consensus - the majority of this stuff is coughed up from shen zhen or somewhere else in manufacturingland, china, but we did find the cool t-shirt place where they had their little commerce party (best shop on the street i'd say) but the cool t-shirts were mostly for boys. not that that's ever stopped me, but i was feeling look-y and not buy-y.
then off to yoga. i intentionally waited for bill's class - bill arce. he's my favorite. half stern and half soft - and really knows exactly what to say to get you in the right posture, and motivated. usually after yoga i like to go home and fall flat on my face, but i'd promised to show at sherry's free appetizer event at dlc, and, well, how can you argue with free food? met and re-met some of her peeps, froze my tush on the terrace (it was a bbq), then sherry and i headed down into the warmth to have an energetic and impromptu discussion on upcoming party ideas and creative endeavors.
i was just writing my friend erik about the conversation, actually. it was one of those discussions that makes you all energetic and inspired and positive that there are so many things out there that need to be done, and you - quite possibly - might be the one to do them. it's one of the things that i like about living here - just simple ideas like gathering friends or designing t-shirts seems so much more interesting and accessible here. at home i engage 400% in naysayery. i'm the first one to show up dressed as myself to a costume party. i think themes are dumb. what have you. but being here is almost like being given permission to try someone else on for size - little inclinations that you may have had before can be cultivated into full-blown interests. i can leave my snotty normal persona behind and perhaps either discover something new about myself (i know, cheese ball) or nurture a part of myself that i would have never known existed. it's a subtle change that you won't notice until you leave where you are.
ok, we're about 2/3 complete. i'm SO tired. please hurry.
sad to report that cyn's pics of vietnam died with her hard drive. i've backed up most of my stuff, but not my music. will be needing to do that. i was looking forward to getting her pics since i took a lot of rock-climbing ones on her camera. shucks.
here's an old pic from back in october. alvin and i getting ready for the shark dive:
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can you tell i'm trying to keep myself awake? 3/4 done now.
here's my view right now:
like my skull socks?
it got all cold yesterday and started pouring rain. luckily today was clear, but it got cold. met sherry for lunch at a new restaurant - italian - and then we walked around nan cang lu for a good couple hours, investigating the shops that jer and frank went spastic on last weekend. consensus - the majority of this stuff is coughed up from shen zhen or somewhere else in manufacturingland, china, but we did find the cool t-shirt place where they had their little commerce party (best shop on the street i'd say) but the cool t-shirts were mostly for boys. not that that's ever stopped me, but i was feeling look-y and not buy-y.
then off to yoga. i intentionally waited for bill's class - bill arce. he's my favorite. half stern and half soft - and really knows exactly what to say to get you in the right posture, and motivated. usually after yoga i like to go home and fall flat on my face, but i'd promised to show at sherry's free appetizer event at dlc, and, well, how can you argue with free food? met and re-met some of her peeps, froze my tush on the terrace (it was a bbq), then sherry and i headed down into the warmth to have an energetic and impromptu discussion on upcoming party ideas and creative endeavors.
i was just writing my friend erik about the conversation, actually. it was one of those discussions that makes you all energetic and inspired and positive that there are so many things out there that need to be done, and you - quite possibly - might be the one to do them. it's one of the things that i like about living here - just simple ideas like gathering friends or designing t-shirts seems so much more interesting and accessible here. at home i engage 400% in naysayery. i'm the first one to show up dressed as myself to a costume party. i think themes are dumb. what have you. but being here is almost like being given permission to try someone else on for size - little inclinations that you may have had before can be cultivated into full-blown interests. i can leave my snotty normal persona behind and perhaps either discover something new about myself (i know, cheese ball) or nurture a part of myself that i would have never known existed. it's a subtle change that you won't notice until you leave where you are.
ok, we're about 2/3 complete. i'm SO tired. please hurry.
sad to report that cyn's pics of vietnam died with her hard drive. i've backed up most of my stuff, but not my music. will be needing to do that. i was looking forward to getting her pics since i took a lot of rock-climbing ones on her camera. shucks.
here's an old pic from back in october. alvin and i getting ready for the shark dive:
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can you tell i'm trying to keep myself awake? 3/4 done now.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
pivotal points
i'm starting to understand some aspects of life. i think. after going through a fairly difficult time mentally while in hong kong and southern china, things are starting to look up. when you're in the depths of said hard time, things just look as if they will progress that way indefinitely and that seems to me to be part of the reason the hard time is so hard. no light at the end of the tunnel.
i have a friend who is one of those rare optimist types. any situation, even if it's a good one, gets even better in his eyes. it's amazing. i don't know how i would function if i was born that way. i guess - appropriately and rather obviously - that i wouldn't be me. i am just hard-wired a different (and cynical) way. but sometimes i wonder if in the future when another difficult phase comes loping down the lane, if i'll be able to pull out of my head and think about right now and remind myself that things do get better, eventually. will i believe myself? will it change anything?
the cynic in me says no.
but some new things are starting here - for me, mostly in the work world, it's too new so i won't discuss - and i'm feeling re-energized. i can say that i pretty easily disheartened, quick to pull the plug on anything that i sense is going to cost me any sort of loss, so i try not to get too dramatic about downturns (generally i fail). however, the floundering in hong kong thing was so bizarre; it was a mixture of house guest from hell guilt (me + 6 weeks) and feeling pressure from back home to shoulder some responsibilities (anyone need to rent a 2-bedroom apartment in oakland?!?!?! email me), plus feeling sad about what i thought my realistic job opps were going to be once back in SH. i know one thing about myself - i function much more productively with structure. although i do want to try this freelance thing, it really takes a flexible, reasonable person to have faith in oneself when in a foreign land and relatively un-connected and wanting to freelance. the hk job market is much better if you're on a corporate path, which i have been and am used to. mainland china is really more a frontier scene for the risk-takers, the independently wealthy, the entrepreneurs. i could just feel myself slipping into a debilitating bout of self-doubt about my abilities as a writer, and building a vicious cycle of limiting myself because of my fears. it happened early on in my career, and luckily i landed a sweet job that helped me build my work confidence with the help of a great boss and mentor. so, that said, things are starting to look up but i'll believe it when i see it.
ha.
switching gears, last night went to saleya on a friend's recommendation - met alvin and lisa for dinner. it's a tiny tiny little french bistro that shares an address with a produce stand (the proprietor of which was running laps in front of his small business as i walked by) and an italian restaurant, which i gather is owned by the same partners as saleya. the main reason i decided to go was that saleya is known for both good food and reasonable prices. reasonable, definitely. you can order a 3-course meal for 158 rmb (just over $20) , which for me included a generously-sized nicoise salad, lamb chops (4 of them on top of a pile of ratatouille), and a dessert. they were also very generous with the bread basket and accompanying tapenade, although initially they served us the bread with salad dressing. honestly, it was good either way. lisa ordered the last beef fillet so alvin settled for the mashed potatoes and sausage. all three were good, simple home style cooking. saleya isn't setting new records in culinary innovation, and i'd venture to say that my mom could go head-to-head with them and win, especially with my dish, but my mom is an extraordinary cook and i have no qualms with simple, home style fare. plus my mom doesn't have a restaurant and isn't here. the wine list was great - i'm still on the wagon, but i took a good long look for future reference and about 2/3 of their red wine list was under 300 rmb. the owner recommended the house red for 198 rmb and it was excellent (i did deign to sample it). good deal. and alvin fell in love all over again; he is the biggest sucker for molten chocolate cake that i've ever met. seriously. he ordered it last night and when his face semi-crumples in appreciation of a dish, you know you've just scored yourself a new fan.
i have a friend who is one of those rare optimist types. any situation, even if it's a good one, gets even better in his eyes. it's amazing. i don't know how i would function if i was born that way. i guess - appropriately and rather obviously - that i wouldn't be me. i am just hard-wired a different (and cynical) way. but sometimes i wonder if in the future when another difficult phase comes loping down the lane, if i'll be able to pull out of my head and think about right now and remind myself that things do get better, eventually. will i believe myself? will it change anything?
the cynic in me says no.
but some new things are starting here - for me, mostly in the work world, it's too new so i won't discuss - and i'm feeling re-energized. i can say that i pretty easily disheartened, quick to pull the plug on anything that i sense is going to cost me any sort of loss, so i try not to get too dramatic about downturns (generally i fail). however, the floundering in hong kong thing was so bizarre; it was a mixture of house guest from hell guilt (me + 6 weeks) and feeling pressure from back home to shoulder some responsibilities (anyone need to rent a 2-bedroom apartment in oakland?!?!?! email me), plus feeling sad about what i thought my realistic job opps were going to be once back in SH. i know one thing about myself - i function much more productively with structure. although i do want to try this freelance thing, it really takes a flexible, reasonable person to have faith in oneself when in a foreign land and relatively un-connected and wanting to freelance. the hk job market is much better if you're on a corporate path, which i have been and am used to. mainland china is really more a frontier scene for the risk-takers, the independently wealthy, the entrepreneurs. i could just feel myself slipping into a debilitating bout of self-doubt about my abilities as a writer, and building a vicious cycle of limiting myself because of my fears. it happened early on in my career, and luckily i landed a sweet job that helped me build my work confidence with the help of a great boss and mentor. so, that said, things are starting to look up but i'll believe it when i see it.
ha.
switching gears, last night went to saleya on a friend's recommendation - met alvin and lisa for dinner. it's a tiny tiny little french bistro that shares an address with a produce stand (the proprietor of which was running laps in front of his small business as i walked by) and an italian restaurant, which i gather is owned by the same partners as saleya. the main reason i decided to go was that saleya is known for both good food and reasonable prices. reasonable, definitely. you can order a 3-course meal for 158 rmb (just over $20) , which for me included a generously-sized nicoise salad, lamb chops (4 of them on top of a pile of ratatouille), and a dessert. they were also very generous with the bread basket and accompanying tapenade, although initially they served us the bread with salad dressing. honestly, it was good either way. lisa ordered the last beef fillet so alvin settled for the mashed potatoes and sausage. all three were good, simple home style cooking. saleya isn't setting new records in culinary innovation, and i'd venture to say that my mom could go head-to-head with them and win, especially with my dish, but my mom is an extraordinary cook and i have no qualms with simple, home style fare. plus my mom doesn't have a restaurant and isn't here. the wine list was great - i'm still on the wagon, but i took a good long look for future reference and about 2/3 of their red wine list was under 300 rmb. the owner recommended the house red for 198 rmb and it was excellent (i did deign to sample it). good deal. and alvin fell in love all over again; he is the biggest sucker for molten chocolate cake that i've ever met. seriously. he ordered it last night and when his face semi-crumples in appreciation of a dish, you know you've just scored yourself a new fan.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
thunderstorms
nap time turned into down-for-the-count. cyn tells me this morning that i slept through a thunderstorm last night. i slept through dinner and much more, but it was much-needed rest so that's ok. woke up around 3 am wondering where i was, then was relieved to realize i was at home. i guess that's normal after so much traveling.
monday mornings are always ayi mornings - she comes breezing in and kodi is running around, excited to see her. today she was bearing goodies: she'd made us her own version of a dan bing. yummy. and vegetarian, which is how i like to start off my day.
monday mornings are always ayi mornings - she comes breezing in and kodi is running around, excited to see her. today she was bearing goodies: she'd made us her own version of a dan bing. yummy. and vegetarian, which is how i like to start off my day.
honey lemon tea
de la coast was quiet last night so after waiting for our friend sherry we decided to change venues. met up with the syzygy peeps at the naked cow, where cyn and i polished off the rest of gregor and vince's dinner, even tho we'd had a big meal before we left home. sweet potatoes, mmm. brussel sprouts, mmm. i love brussel sprouts.
we met up with frank and jer at FCC, where there was a 42 below party (vodka brand). from the looks of it, the theme was a clockwork orange; so entry was 100 rmb which got you two drinks. the drink 'tickets' were self-adhesive fake eyelashes. get it? cyn wore hers haphazardly stuck on her face for most of the night. cute. i gave mine to a drunk vince who didn't need them anyway because he was wearing the VIP bowler hat and had unlimited drinks.
last night must've been my lucky night because i heard more lines than i'd gotten in a while. i even got the classic, 'i'm sorry, have i met you before?' it was one for the books. it's just positive reinforcement for being on the wagon. last night was also my first night out since deciding to hold off on the drinking, and i was surprised at how difficult it was. i don't think that i have a 'habit' by any means - there are a lot of parties here in SH, but i just don't have the physical capacity to be a 24-7 party girl so i'm not one by default. but i decided to eliminate it for a while, for personal reasons. it was really interesting not being sloshed by the end of the night at an all-nighter SH night. i mean, i went to sleep after 8 this morning and am limping by on about 2 hours of sleep, but i feel ok. and it was great to go into the bathroom at 4 am and see that my reflection did not include a bloodshot eyes and smeary makeup. no stumbling, no falling.
i know it's not a newsflash, but alcohol really is such a way of life in this town. you start off with a quiet cocktail or three to warm up, then start advancing to bigger, louder parties where there's usually free flow for at least part of the night. on long nights we wind down with a few beers afterwards. i honestly don't know some nights how i went the whole time in 3-ish inch stilettos without breaking my face on pavement. funny how some dynamics just don't appear without liquid courage - kind of staggering to think about. people interact with each other extended on the plank that alcohol facilitates.
naptime.
we met up with frank and jer at FCC, where there was a 42 below party (vodka brand). from the looks of it, the theme was a clockwork orange; so entry was 100 rmb which got you two drinks. the drink 'tickets' were self-adhesive fake eyelashes. get it? cyn wore hers haphazardly stuck on her face for most of the night. cute. i gave mine to a drunk vince who didn't need them anyway because he was wearing the VIP bowler hat and had unlimited drinks.
last night must've been my lucky night because i heard more lines than i'd gotten in a while. i even got the classic, 'i'm sorry, have i met you before?' it was one for the books. it's just positive reinforcement for being on the wagon. last night was also my first night out since deciding to hold off on the drinking, and i was surprised at how difficult it was. i don't think that i have a 'habit' by any means - there are a lot of parties here in SH, but i just don't have the physical capacity to be a 24-7 party girl so i'm not one by default. but i decided to eliminate it for a while, for personal reasons. it was really interesting not being sloshed by the end of the night at an all-nighter SH night. i mean, i went to sleep after 8 this morning and am limping by on about 2 hours of sleep, but i feel ok. and it was great to go into the bathroom at 4 am and see that my reflection did not include a bloodshot eyes and smeary makeup. no stumbling, no falling.
i know it's not a newsflash, but alcohol really is such a way of life in this town. you start off with a quiet cocktail or three to warm up, then start advancing to bigger, louder parties where there's usually free flow for at least part of the night. on long nights we wind down with a few beers afterwards. i honestly don't know some nights how i went the whole time in 3-ish inch stilettos without breaking my face on pavement. funny how some dynamics just don't appear without liquid courage - kind of staggering to think about. people interact with each other extended on the plank that alcohol facilitates.
naptime.
Friday, April 13, 2007
TGIF
i'm home. arrived in shanghai this afternoon.
definitely never going to live in guangzhou. let me put it this way - gz is so dirty that when i was sailing along in a cab on my way home from the airport, i actually stuck my head out of the window and thought (rather, exclaimed) to myself, 'wow! shanghai is so clean!' now that's just fucked up. just relieved to be back in civilization, i think.
went home, hung up a dress, and immediately my clothes-hanger rack snapped and collapsed. yup. i'm definitely home now.
will now be heading to bed where there is no hard tile floor under my back, no dirty china hotel sheets, no button that illuminates the 'do not disturb' button near my door. granted, it's covered in clothes that will soon be on the floor, but i'm not complaining. i'm no longer living out of a suitcase with clothes that i packed with the intention of trucking around southern vietnam in. i arranged the 4,000 grooming items i've purchased in my 8 weeks away - lotions, facial cleansers, scrubs, serums, eye gel - in a nice row in my bathroom, which now looks like an upscale watsons. i washed a lot of laundry. had some thai food with cyn. unpacked some more. it's a nice feeling.
tomorrow i intend to get my ass to yoga and attempt to shake loose the knots and globules that have knit and accumulated, respectively, since i've been gone. then we have a stiletto party at de la coast.
good night.
definitely never going to live in guangzhou. let me put it this way - gz is so dirty that when i was sailing along in a cab on my way home from the airport, i actually stuck my head out of the window and thought (rather, exclaimed) to myself, 'wow! shanghai is so clean!' now that's just fucked up. just relieved to be back in civilization, i think.
went home, hung up a dress, and immediately my clothes-hanger rack snapped and collapsed. yup. i'm definitely home now.
will now be heading to bed where there is no hard tile floor under my back, no dirty china hotel sheets, no button that illuminates the 'do not disturb' button near my door. granted, it's covered in clothes that will soon be on the floor, but i'm not complaining. i'm no longer living out of a suitcase with clothes that i packed with the intention of trucking around southern vietnam in. i arranged the 4,000 grooming items i've purchased in my 8 weeks away - lotions, facial cleansers, scrubs, serums, eye gel - in a nice row in my bathroom, which now looks like an upscale watsons. i washed a lot of laundry. had some thai food with cyn. unpacked some more. it's a nice feeling.
tomorrow i intend to get my ass to yoga and attempt to shake loose the knots and globules that have knit and accumulated, respectively, since i've been gone. then we have a stiletto party at de la coast.
good night.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
kiln
i wasn't kidding.
blogger has gone from chinese to german to french. i prefer french because it's pretty close to spanish and i can therefore understand some of the buttons.
i'm listening to 'every time' by britney spears over and over again. are you concerned now? i can't ignore the syntax errors in the lyrics but the melody and bpm is suiting my dismal mental state right now.
blogger has gone from chinese to german to french. i prefer french because it's pretty close to spanish and i can therefore understand some of the buttons.
i'm listening to 'every time' by britney spears over and over again. are you concerned now? i can't ignore the syntax errors in the lyrics but the melody and bpm is suiting my dismal mental state right now.
another day, another hotel
i'm grateful that there's ethernet here. there doesn't seem to be much else, although if i'm feeling up to it i can purchase the women's or men's underwear or socks or various prophylactics located conveniently on a rack in my bathroom.
back in foshan from guangzhou yesterday.
so i spent the morning yesterday with fibi (sic - it's pronounced phoebe), a girl that magically appeared out of the thin air on my last trip here and i later deduced had been summoned to come and speak with me because her english is fair. my uncle handed her the keys to someone's car, and we went to see a famous kiln that fires the ceramics that foshan is famous for and has been around since the ming dynasty, whenever that was. 500 years ago.
yes, i went to see a large kiln yesterday. i even took pictures because i think that's what you do when someone takes you to see a famous sight in her hometown and seems quite excited by it herself. it would be like me taking someone to see the, uh, paramount theater or the mormon temple, i guess. we also went to see furniture city, which david wanted very badly for me to see for some reason, but the main - aka 'modern' - part of it was shut down because there was no electricity. we didn't stay long in the uncool part and bailed in favor of lunch. my uncle magically appeared at one point during lunch (how does he do that?) and i was whisked off to another destination, this time a street corner by the hospital where my health check was performed, where we loitered for several minutes until david showed up to collect my passport for one reason or another. then my uncle and i hopped into the car (who's car was it anyway?) and lo and behold! picked up another person, david's sister, helen, then went to guangzhou. for some reason, i can't stay awake when i'm in a car, so next thing i know my uncle is barking my name and points out a hotel for me to admire. great. i know better than to think we're staying there because it's fancy. i close my eyes again and we're at helen's apartment. we go in and her parents are feverishly cooking dinner and i meet her niece and park my dazed ass on the sofa while various snacks of the preserved fruit variety are thrust at me and i just blink at them, overwhelmed by the choices and the complete randomness of my life at that point. i keep hearing peeps about me staying the night at the family's spare apartment and how one of the sisters is out buying furniture so i can sleep there. i'm ushered to the table and i consume dinner. helen's mother is talking nonstop and her father is glugging down copious amounts of bai jiu and i believe he's quite hammered. just like my grandparents, actually. her niece, ga ga (no, i'm not kidding) throws various english phrases at me and i smile at her because i don't know what else to do. she has a semi-tamed afro and her hair looks like a mushroom, but she's kinda cute in an earnest way. after dinner helen performs the most involved tea preparation i've ever seen and i drink lots of pu-er tea out of politeness. then my uncle and helen and myself truck across the courtyard to the apartment where i am to spend the night, apparently by myself. when the door is finally shoved open, i immediately start fearing for my well-being. the apartment is cool if you're into filth and lots of dust, which i'm not because dust triggers my asthma. and there is no furniture in the filthy room where i need to sleep, except for a desk. i put my foot down and tell my uncle that it's far too troublesome for the family to purchase furniture and clean the apartment for my sake (ahem) so i would rather stay in a hotel. i think he sees the wild look in my eyes and agrees. he is rather fastidious himself and i think he might have been sympathetic. helen makes a phone call and we jump into a taxi, where we are dropped off on a dark street in front of an empty storefront and a bank that is now closed since it's 10 pm. we finally locate a doorway vaguely resembling a hotel, and my uncle checks me in. it looks like a hotel, but it doesn't. i have enough curiosity to ask if it's a hotel. my uncle says yes, it's a hotel for customs officers (which helen is). my luggage is in a car somewhere that is not with us, so we go upstairs to my room and after about 15 minutes my uncle and helen leave. he tells me he is going to get my luggage which is now downstairs.
two hours later - i was watching the beginning of the fifth element when they left and when he got back i was well into some bug show - my uncle bangs on the door and scares the shit out of me. my luggage has appeared. he leaves me at the hotel and i am very grateful for my belongings. i have no control over my life and that is okay.
i thought i was staying 2 nights at the customs agent hotel, so when my uncle comes to pick me up the next day i'm not packed. he and the confused housekeeping person literally sit in the room and watch me as i frantically throw my belongings into my bags. i was intending to re-pack so most of my shit is everywhere. i get in another vehicle - a champagne minivan this time, equipped with a driver - and we start driving. we venture down a small street and i see a familiar face - one of my uncle's friends. we pick him up and keep driving. we're back in foshan, and go to a huge restaurant where we have yet another private room and a lunch so fancy that the chef comes into the room and cooks two of the dishes in front of us. abalone. oysters. steamed fish. the foie gras of chinese cuisine. the friend continues to chastise me for not speaking chinese in either form. i eat lunch and try not to look mildly irritated because i know he's paying for lunch. we finish, get in the car and drive about 20 yards to our new hotel. with an entire afternoon ahead of me and no apparent internet access, i completely unpack and repack with hope that i'll streamline the volume of my luggage. in my efforts i spy an ethernet cable, which is the happiest moment of my day. i spend the rest of the afternoon emailing my family and friends about where the fuck in the universe i actually am and why. my uncle again scares the shit out of me by banging on the door. we are to leave. he hands me my passport and various immigration documents. we're going to visit a factory and something about my ticket back to shanghai. while walking through the lobby, david appears and we get in his car. we drive around and park near a 'hot sandwich board' sign on an industrial building. we go into an office, and a man shouting on the phone stops shouting and takes us on a tour of a small printing factory. david is making funny faces at me, which is okay because he's kinda goofy-friendly. we get back in the car. we go next to park in an alley somewhere in the bustling area of foshan and my uncle motions for me to stay in the car. he reappears about 10 minutes later with my plane ticket back to civilization: tomorrow at 1 pm. we drive and park somewhere else. outside of an apartment building. my uncle gets out and david starts trying to convince me to go to karaoke with him and fibi. he unabashedly sings me two songs in mandarin, after which i clap. he's really not bad. my uncle gets back in the car and we go to a restaurant, to a private room. we order and eat, and two people i've met before show up. the 'old woman,' as my uncles refers to her, and the smaller, quiet man that follows her around. as usual, she refuses to eat and has brought another sheaf of work papers that she waves around. david practices his english on me while the woman talks. and talks. and talks. she finally consents to picking out all of the gingko nuts out of one of our dishes, and eats dessert. upon leaving my uncle instructs me to follow her and i am driven back to the hotel by another man who appeared during dinner and will be driving me to the airport tomorrow. they insist on all getting out of the car, and the woman escorts me into the lobby and i forcibly prevent her from taking me to my room. she shouts my room number to all the employees in the lobby who nod at her and repeat it loudly. i escape to my room. that woman annoyed me when i first met her and since we haven't spoken directly to each other i can only say it's because she's very bossy and i don't like it.
i am concerned for my mental well-being. eating toblerone should not be considered a form of entertainment.
back in foshan from guangzhou yesterday.
so i spent the morning yesterday with fibi (sic - it's pronounced phoebe), a girl that magically appeared out of the thin air on my last trip here and i later deduced had been summoned to come and speak with me because her english is fair. my uncle handed her the keys to someone's car, and we went to see a famous kiln that fires the ceramics that foshan is famous for and has been around since the ming dynasty, whenever that was. 500 years ago.
yes, i went to see a large kiln yesterday. i even took pictures because i think that's what you do when someone takes you to see a famous sight in her hometown and seems quite excited by it herself. it would be like me taking someone to see the, uh, paramount theater or the mormon temple, i guess. we also went to see furniture city, which david wanted very badly for me to see for some reason, but the main - aka 'modern' - part of it was shut down because there was no electricity. we didn't stay long in the uncool part and bailed in favor of lunch. my uncle magically appeared at one point during lunch (how does he do that?) and i was whisked off to another destination, this time a street corner by the hospital where my health check was performed, where we loitered for several minutes until david showed up to collect my passport for one reason or another. then my uncle and i hopped into the car (who's car was it anyway?) and lo and behold! picked up another person, david's sister, helen, then went to guangzhou. for some reason, i can't stay awake when i'm in a car, so next thing i know my uncle is barking my name and points out a hotel for me to admire. great. i know better than to think we're staying there because it's fancy. i close my eyes again and we're at helen's apartment. we go in and her parents are feverishly cooking dinner and i meet her niece and park my dazed ass on the sofa while various snacks of the preserved fruit variety are thrust at me and i just blink at them, overwhelmed by the choices and the complete randomness of my life at that point. i keep hearing peeps about me staying the night at the family's spare apartment and how one of the sisters is out buying furniture so i can sleep there. i'm ushered to the table and i consume dinner. helen's mother is talking nonstop and her father is glugging down copious amounts of bai jiu and i believe he's quite hammered. just like my grandparents, actually. her niece, ga ga (no, i'm not kidding) throws various english phrases at me and i smile at her because i don't know what else to do. she has a semi-tamed afro and her hair looks like a mushroom, but she's kinda cute in an earnest way. after dinner helen performs the most involved tea preparation i've ever seen and i drink lots of pu-er tea out of politeness. then my uncle and helen and myself truck across the courtyard to the apartment where i am to spend the night, apparently by myself. when the door is finally shoved open, i immediately start fearing for my well-being. the apartment is cool if you're into filth and lots of dust, which i'm not because dust triggers my asthma. and there is no furniture in the filthy room where i need to sleep, except for a desk. i put my foot down and tell my uncle that it's far too troublesome for the family to purchase furniture and clean the apartment for my sake (ahem) so i would rather stay in a hotel. i think he sees the wild look in my eyes and agrees. he is rather fastidious himself and i think he might have been sympathetic. helen makes a phone call and we jump into a taxi, where we are dropped off on a dark street in front of an empty storefront and a bank that is now closed since it's 10 pm. we finally locate a doorway vaguely resembling a hotel, and my uncle checks me in. it looks like a hotel, but it doesn't. i have enough curiosity to ask if it's a hotel. my uncle says yes, it's a hotel for customs officers (which helen is). my luggage is in a car somewhere that is not with us, so we go upstairs to my room and after about 15 minutes my uncle and helen leave. he tells me he is going to get my luggage which is now downstairs.
two hours later - i was watching the beginning of the fifth element when they left and when he got back i was well into some bug show - my uncle bangs on the door and scares the shit out of me. my luggage has appeared. he leaves me at the hotel and i am very grateful for my belongings. i have no control over my life and that is okay.
i thought i was staying 2 nights at the customs agent hotel, so when my uncle comes to pick me up the next day i'm not packed. he and the confused housekeeping person literally sit in the room and watch me as i frantically throw my belongings into my bags. i was intending to re-pack so most of my shit is everywhere. i get in another vehicle - a champagne minivan this time, equipped with a driver - and we start driving. we venture down a small street and i see a familiar face - one of my uncle's friends. we pick him up and keep driving. we're back in foshan, and go to a huge restaurant where we have yet another private room and a lunch so fancy that the chef comes into the room and cooks two of the dishes in front of us. abalone. oysters. steamed fish. the foie gras of chinese cuisine. the friend continues to chastise me for not speaking chinese in either form. i eat lunch and try not to look mildly irritated because i know he's paying for lunch. we finish, get in the car and drive about 20 yards to our new hotel. with an entire afternoon ahead of me and no apparent internet access, i completely unpack and repack with hope that i'll streamline the volume of my luggage. in my efforts i spy an ethernet cable, which is the happiest moment of my day. i spend the rest of the afternoon emailing my family and friends about where the fuck in the universe i actually am and why. my uncle again scares the shit out of me by banging on the door. we are to leave. he hands me my passport and various immigration documents. we're going to visit a factory and something about my ticket back to shanghai. while walking through the lobby, david appears and we get in his car. we drive around and park near a 'hot sandwich board' sign on an industrial building. we go into an office, and a man shouting on the phone stops shouting and takes us on a tour of a small printing factory. david is making funny faces at me, which is okay because he's kinda goofy-friendly. we get back in the car. we go next to park in an alley somewhere in the bustling area of foshan and my uncle motions for me to stay in the car. he reappears about 10 minutes later with my plane ticket back to civilization: tomorrow at 1 pm. we drive and park somewhere else. outside of an apartment building. my uncle gets out and david starts trying to convince me to go to karaoke with him and fibi. he unabashedly sings me two songs in mandarin, after which i clap. he's really not bad. my uncle gets back in the car and we go to a restaurant, to a private room. we order and eat, and two people i've met before show up. the 'old woman,' as my uncles refers to her, and the smaller, quiet man that follows her around. as usual, she refuses to eat and has brought another sheaf of work papers that she waves around. david practices his english on me while the woman talks. and talks. and talks. she finally consents to picking out all of the gingko nuts out of one of our dishes, and eats dessert. upon leaving my uncle instructs me to follow her and i am driven back to the hotel by another man who appeared during dinner and will be driving me to the airport tomorrow. they insist on all getting out of the car, and the woman escorts me into the lobby and i forcibly prevent her from taking me to my room. she shouts my room number to all the employees in the lobby who nod at her and repeat it loudly. i escape to my room. that woman annoyed me when i first met her and since we haven't spoken directly to each other i can only say it's because she's very bossy and i don't like it.
i am concerned for my mental well-being. eating toblerone should not be considered a form of entertainment.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
bored in foshan
i'm so bored i started a myspace page. i know, i know, believe me, i know. my little cousin has a myspace page and she thinks manga is a literary genre. but if you're bored or juvenile enough to do the same thing, go add me as a friend. right now i only have 2 so i'm feeling lame.
back in foSHAN. about 30 km away from guangzhou. still working on getting back to SH. other than that i don't know what to tell you. when the highlight of my day is the DSL in my hotel room, you know you need help. tomorrow my uncle's 'friend' david is taking me to see Furniture City, about which i'm skeptical. i think i told him that i used to buy furniture for a living; either that or foshan really doesn't have much to offer in the way of sightseeing and their one attraction just happens to involve my former livelihood. i think i'll take my camera so i can report back. i am also unsure as to how i communicated this to david if i did, because my chinese is so dismal and i'd venture to say his english is worse. maybe i performed charades.
having your own hotel room is pretty cool. it's like having your own little apartment. i live by my own schedule and can even take a bath in the middle of the night, like i used to do at my apartment. i'm luxuriating in having my own space right now, after being a houseguest in a small apartment for way too long.
it was kind of weird leaving hong kong. i have all of my luggage with me because the word for now is that i'm actually going back to SH this week. (i'll believe it when my plane touches down at PVG.) i think i started getting settled in my odd nomad life in HK. my little room jam-packed with the fruits of my shopping labors, the folding mat i slept on for 6 weeks, having to coordinate a shower schedule with 2 other people, using stuff that wasn't mine all the time. it sounds nightmarish but it was actually oddly comforting to be around family and play the little kid for a while. people serve you at dinner, you feel trapped and hemmed-in, but strangely pampered. cosseted. i realize how much freedom my parents allowed me as a child. privacy, namely. my mom would naturally want to know where i was every day, but i didn't need to regurgitate full reports on every movement like it seems my relatives do. my aunt calls my mother every 3 days and gives her the rundown on what i've been up to. since i only saw my aunt about once a week, i can't imagine there was much to talk about, but then again, i know better. my cousin will tell my aunt what i ate that day, what i liked and what i didn't out of what was ordered, what i was up to at the moment, what i did all day, whether or not i had showered yet, and a random tidbit of something i'd said or a mistake that i'd made or something. i'm sure my mom was briefed in full.
i do have one adventure to report - i tried absinthe (in its weaker, modern form) the other night. i also retched violently for 6 hours afterwards, so i don't recommend it. additionally, it tastes like complete shit, so i don't understand what all the hype is about. i could eat tainted meat for the same effect, and arguably enjoy it more. i took the retching as a sign that my body needs some rest, so i'm abstaining from sinful behaviors for a while. i've been toying with the idea of abstaining permanently from several things. my body reacts violently and unpredictably at times, so occasionally i wonder if there are biological explanations for the inconsistencies. if i'm not born to be a drinker, so be it. but don't be ok with me consuming 10+ drinks one night with little to no effect, and then a mere 4 on another night and become indescribably ill. i'm beginning to suspect that there's a fairly obvious answer out there for me to notice.
listening to the cure now. i should go to bed soon because my entertainment committee has to be summoned tomorrow to drive me around the delights of foshan. another day filled with me picking at my nails and trying to decipher a few words here and there, carefully guarding my facial expressions so that i don't appear bored or grumpy (as i've been told my normal face looks) even tho i kind of am. i appreciate the efforts that david and company are exerting on my behalf, but despite insisting that i am more than happy to stay at my hotel chained to the dsl all day, my uncle and his friends feel deeply compelled to ensure that i am thoroughly amused. maybe being a loner is considered strange in china. i find it exhausting to interact with people i don't know well with all day long for several days in a row. tonight i just gave up and completely disengaged during dinner, and openly started an sms conversation with cynthia while everyone else was talking. no one seemed to notice. my uncle started falling asleep at one point, so i took this to be a good sign.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
shhh... everybody's still sleeping
it's past noon and my fams is still snoring away. that's definitely a liu thing. those of us that have inherited the recessive gene of infinite sleep capacity are fortunate and envied. my aunt once slept the entire way on a flight from hong kong to san francisco. she fell asleep at takeoff and woke up in san francisco. i'm one of those who, if not forced up, can sleep indefinitely. i think that might be what enables my wicked coffee habit.
biann treated me to my first professional brow shaping yesterday. she probably felt bad for me because while i was waiting for hers, i was watching with such fascination that i was practically in her lap. it looks cool. i've only ever done my own brows, with mixed results. i'm too lazy to be super thorough and like, tweeze my goddamned forehead like i swear this girl was doing yesterday. my cousin even noticed when he met us for dinner last night and he's one of those dudes that doesn't buy his own clothes and watches sports incessantly, so i KNOW i must've been looking raggedy. i've kind of given up on personal appearence here for some reason. i don't have my tools and its frustrating, so i just like to say fuck it and walk around all lookin through.
i would take a picture and show you, but i haven't washed up and i'm crusty and sporting my cousin's bathrobe.
for those of you who are interested, it's fun to go and get your brows done. i never knew that my eyebrows were too long, and i mean the actual length, not the eyebrow hair. shouldn't extend past the inner corner of your eye. i've read this a million times in beauty magazines, but who actually takes the pencil or makeup brush and checks? kinda opens up your face a bit if they're the right length. the makeup person also kinda capped on my choice of brow pencil, which is brown but shows up reddish on me. i know the color totally doesn't match my hair, but like i said i've been incredibly unconcerned these days and can't be bothered to seek out matchy-matchy.
i also asked the girl to help with some under-eye concealer, because i've noticed these alarming dark circles under my eyes of late (despite being arguably the most rested person on the continent), but she sucked at that. she applied some pasty shit that was clearly far too light, and then pretended not to notice when it immediately got absorbed into my hella dry skin all in patches, so i looked ashy, patchy, and somewhat pyschotic (you ever notice how crazy women walk around in the streets with some fucked up makeup?).
biann treated me to my first professional brow shaping yesterday. she probably felt bad for me because while i was waiting for hers, i was watching with such fascination that i was practically in her lap. it looks cool. i've only ever done my own brows, with mixed results. i'm too lazy to be super thorough and like, tweeze my goddamned forehead like i swear this girl was doing yesterday. my cousin even noticed when he met us for dinner last night and he's one of those dudes that doesn't buy his own clothes and watches sports incessantly, so i KNOW i must've been looking raggedy. i've kind of given up on personal appearence here for some reason. i don't have my tools and its frustrating, so i just like to say fuck it and walk around all lookin through.
i would take a picture and show you, but i haven't washed up and i'm crusty and sporting my cousin's bathrobe.
for those of you who are interested, it's fun to go and get your brows done. i never knew that my eyebrows were too long, and i mean the actual length, not the eyebrow hair. shouldn't extend past the inner corner of your eye. i've read this a million times in beauty magazines, but who actually takes the pencil or makeup brush and checks? kinda opens up your face a bit if they're the right length. the makeup person also kinda capped on my choice of brow pencil, which is brown but shows up reddish on me. i know the color totally doesn't match my hair, but like i said i've been incredibly unconcerned these days and can't be bothered to seek out matchy-matchy.
i also asked the girl to help with some under-eye concealer, because i've noticed these alarming dark circles under my eyes of late (despite being arguably the most rested person on the continent), but she sucked at that. she applied some pasty shit that was clearly far too light, and then pretended not to notice when it immediately got absorbed into my hella dry skin all in patches, so i looked ashy, patchy, and somewhat pyschotic (you ever notice how crazy women walk around in the streets with some fucked up makeup?).
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
i'm wearing my hood
the funny thing about humidity is that it amplifies whatever weather you're experiencing. it makes hot weather even hotter. and it makes cold weather cling to you. the one solitary lesson that i have learned since moving OUT of the bay area and INTO asia is that bay area weather is ideal.
us kids that grew up there are used to hearing it - blah blah, yeah, we know we're lucky, whatever, can we go eat now? but seriously. in humidity, important things like towels and laundry don't dry. (and dryers, being an american fixation, are uncommon in asia. fucking don't ask me why, because they're the ones with the humidity issue.) and when towels and laundry don't dry in under, let's say, 3 days, they start to emanate this funk. sour washrag funk. my sister associates the smell with hong kong, and logically so, because if your towel at home smells like it does here, you'd throw it immediately into the washer, crank it to hot water and dump in all the detergent you can find. but when your towels smells like someone dragged it in the gutter here, you shake it off and dry yourself off as normal, knowing you just changed towels yesterday.
that is irritating as shit, you know.
so last night i topped off my mcdonald's meal deal #9 consumed at 5:30 pm with two greasy-ass slices of pizza, a bowl of cream of mushroom soup, pasta with ham and peas and ground meat of some variety, and chicken wings. oh yeah, and mashed potato with escargot. 'sets' are big here - you don't just order pizza, you order a fucking banquet. the typical hk breakfast is a set; so you order your macaroni in chicken broth with ham or your instant noodles with jia choi and pork, and you get two pieces of texas toast (crusts sawed off and soaked in margarine) and two fried eggs. i am still wondering why hong kees are so friggin tiny. they eat like paul bunyan. everyone orders a beverage of sorts - either lai cha (hot or cold), or lemon tea, or coffee. biann and i always order coffee with breakfast, and it comes with about 20% coffee and 80% creamer. asians like their drinks creamy as shit (with fake cream, preferably) and their bread soft like pound cake. it's interesting how an entire region can cultivate a specific propensity for textures and tastes.
eating breakfast at home seems to be a rare occurrence. on weekends, we always head downstairs and consume bowls of noodles or some rice plate. i bought some whole-grain bread (aha!) i managed to find in the supermarket downstairs and toasted that for breakfast before my cousin B got up this morning, and he seemed baffled that i made my own breakfast when i could so easily just go downstairs. one night i stayed home by myself and made dinner, and B wondered aloud about it for 3 days. he was completely confused as to why i would buy and cook food when i could so easily not engage in that whole thing and plunk down $25 hkd for a decent meal.
i think it boils down to regionalism. americans have space, so they have large homes and spend lots of time and money making that space very comfortable and nice, and want to spend time in that space. hong kees do not have space - they have tiny shoebox apartments (that smell like sour towels) and spend as little time as possible in them, and the thought of making food at home (if you can afford to eat out frequently) or staying in on friday nights is completely foreign. it's unnecessary, as well, because most corner places in hong kong serve some pretty fucking good food and it's cheap. take one look at the retail breakdowns and you'll see - apparel and accessories make up about 85% of the shops in a mall, the other 15% is food or coffee establishments. you don't have the huge home furnishings market in hong kong, you don't have people interested in making their apartment look like a crate & barrel catalog. there's no nesting compulsion because when your shit is like, 450 square feet, you don't have that many options.
it's like when we were in brazil - i wondered out loud why all the young couples we saw together were always completely making out. saadiq pointed out that all young people live at home with their parents, so the only private time (as it were) that they have with their bfs or gfs is when they're out at clubs or in the park or beach. that perspective was like, seeing google earth for the first time. of course. of course there are explanations for that. of course not the whole world is america. duh.
currently reading: write on, by elizabeth george. she's a mystery novelist and the book is about teaching the craft of writing. i've always been sort of arrogant about my writing, on one hand extremely private, and on the other, sort of presumptuous. WHAT can YOU teach me about writing? i've been writing fiction since i was 7, i know how to fucking write. but i am so foolish sometimes. writing a novel is a marathon, and i have dabbled in the occasional sprint. i wouldn't know how to research a novel, profile a character, or pitch an idea to a publisher if i got slapped in the head with all 3 at once. i highly recommend it if you one day aspire to be published, and if you want your shit to be good. i think i have the sensibility of writer, but i don't have the skills to sustain a long-term project. i have to learn these things.
(p.s. one of my favorite things is getting older. my mom doesn't like it because when she was my age my sister was born and she's got this deep hankering for grandchildren, but i do. every day you learn something new. you learn how dumb you are about something you've always been good at, you learn how to be patient, you learn that your friends and family are so important when you've never previously given it much thought, you get to know yourself and by doing this, make your contributions to the world so much more effective and significant. kumbaya. let's hold hands now.)
us kids that grew up there are used to hearing it - blah blah, yeah, we know we're lucky, whatever, can we go eat now? but seriously. in humidity, important things like towels and laundry don't dry. (and dryers, being an american fixation, are uncommon in asia. fucking don't ask me why, because they're the ones with the humidity issue.) and when towels and laundry don't dry in under, let's say, 3 days, they start to emanate this funk. sour washrag funk. my sister associates the smell with hong kong, and logically so, because if your towel at home smells like it does here, you'd throw it immediately into the washer, crank it to hot water and dump in all the detergent you can find. but when your towels smells like someone dragged it in the gutter here, you shake it off and dry yourself off as normal, knowing you just changed towels yesterday.
that is irritating as shit, you know.
so last night i topped off my mcdonald's meal deal #9 consumed at 5:30 pm with two greasy-ass slices of pizza, a bowl of cream of mushroom soup, pasta with ham and peas and ground meat of some variety, and chicken wings. oh yeah, and mashed potato with escargot. 'sets' are big here - you don't just order pizza, you order a fucking banquet. the typical hk breakfast is a set; so you order your macaroni in chicken broth with ham or your instant noodles with jia choi and pork, and you get two pieces of texas toast (crusts sawed off and soaked in margarine) and two fried eggs. i am still wondering why hong kees are so friggin tiny. they eat like paul bunyan. everyone orders a beverage of sorts - either lai cha (hot or cold), or lemon tea, or coffee. biann and i always order coffee with breakfast, and it comes with about 20% coffee and 80% creamer. asians like their drinks creamy as shit (with fake cream, preferably) and their bread soft like pound cake. it's interesting how an entire region can cultivate a specific propensity for textures and tastes.
eating breakfast at home seems to be a rare occurrence. on weekends, we always head downstairs and consume bowls of noodles or some rice plate. i bought some whole-grain bread (aha!) i managed to find in the supermarket downstairs and toasted that for breakfast before my cousin B got up this morning, and he seemed baffled that i made my own breakfast when i could so easily just go downstairs. one night i stayed home by myself and made dinner, and B wondered aloud about it for 3 days. he was completely confused as to why i would buy and cook food when i could so easily not engage in that whole thing and plunk down $25 hkd for a decent meal.
i think it boils down to regionalism. americans have space, so they have large homes and spend lots of time and money making that space very comfortable and nice, and want to spend time in that space. hong kees do not have space - they have tiny shoebox apartments (that smell like sour towels) and spend as little time as possible in them, and the thought of making food at home (if you can afford to eat out frequently) or staying in on friday nights is completely foreign. it's unnecessary, as well, because most corner places in hong kong serve some pretty fucking good food and it's cheap. take one look at the retail breakdowns and you'll see - apparel and accessories make up about 85% of the shops in a mall, the other 15% is food or coffee establishments. you don't have the huge home furnishings market in hong kong, you don't have people interested in making their apartment look like a crate & barrel catalog. there's no nesting compulsion because when your shit is like, 450 square feet, you don't have that many options.
it's like when we were in brazil - i wondered out loud why all the young couples we saw together were always completely making out. saadiq pointed out that all young people live at home with their parents, so the only private time (as it were) that they have with their bfs or gfs is when they're out at clubs or in the park or beach. that perspective was like, seeing google earth for the first time. of course. of course there are explanations for that. of course not the whole world is america. duh.
currently reading: write on, by elizabeth george. she's a mystery novelist and the book is about teaching the craft of writing. i've always been sort of arrogant about my writing, on one hand extremely private, and on the other, sort of presumptuous. WHAT can YOU teach me about writing? i've been writing fiction since i was 7, i know how to fucking write. but i am so foolish sometimes. writing a novel is a marathon, and i have dabbled in the occasional sprint. i wouldn't know how to research a novel, profile a character, or pitch an idea to a publisher if i got slapped in the head with all 3 at once. i highly recommend it if you one day aspire to be published, and if you want your shit to be good. i think i have the sensibility of writer, but i don't have the skills to sustain a long-term project. i have to learn these things.
(p.s. one of my favorite things is getting older. my mom doesn't like it because when she was my age my sister was born and she's got this deep hankering for grandchildren, but i do. every day you learn something new. you learn how dumb you are about something you've always been good at, you learn how to be patient, you learn that your friends and family are so important when you've never previously given it much thought, you get to know yourself and by doing this, make your contributions to the world so much more effective and significant. kumbaya. let's hold hands now.)
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
pizza hut tonight
i offered to make dinner tonight because biann's been doing a lot of cooking lately, but later we decided it would be pizza night tonight. right now i'm hungry so i'm thinking about food...ate a late breakfast which knocks out the possibility of a lunch. i haven't gone into a pizza hut here in hk, but in china these are fine-dining establishments. and truly, including the few top restaurants i've been to in asia, i swear that the best service i've had has been in pizza hut. go, western imperialism. or rather, western imperialism by proxy (capitalism, of course).
i made pancakes this morning because i've A: been craving pancakes, and B: need to use up some of the baking ingredients i bought for the cookies because i don't want to take them home with me (biann doesn't want them and probably will not use them) but sadly after beating the egg whites by hand and with a fork (chinese kitchens are not equipped with baking implements) and substituting milk with soymilk, they came out kind of dry. B was kind enough to eat 2 of them and commented that they were 'not bad' although he did say they were dry. lmao. canto honesty every time. i stuck some chocolate chips in mine and we found some honey to pour over them so that made them better.
i talked to my sister today for a long time. that was cool - we caught up on the dish and she got the full breakdown on what i did for 3 days in foshan with my uncle (mysterious stops on dark streets, karaoke with xiao jies and whiskey with green tea, me drugged out of my mind because of my food poisoning and the ensuing semi-conscious state thanks to lomotil) and i got the haps on the family unit on the other side of the ocean. for people addicted to heroin or opium or something, lomotil will do the trick. i've never been that stoned in my life. i would be sitting up watching TV and my eyes would keep rolling back in my head. and doctors willingly prescribe this to people, it's insane. i only took 2 of the 8 doses i was given because i couldn't hang, and it still took me 3 days after i stopped to get back to normal and stop acting like a freak.
i also got a cat update: they ran out of that advantage flea stuff so after grumbling, my dad threw down $50 for another pack (note to potential pet owners - advantage is the biggest racket outside of cell phone plans in the US) and they proceeded to dose the little monster. she reportedly scratched the shit out of my dad, who then grabbed her by the tail whilst she hissed and screamed, and my sister says that scarlett was literally swinging like a pendulum, screaming and hissing and trying to get at my dad who was pissed at that point for being scratched. she said she looked exactly like the tasmanian devil.
oops. the meek shall inherit the earth, so my cat ain't inheriting shit. she's a fucking monster and i'm the first person to admit it. my sister tried to cut her nails (you have to roll her in her blanket to do this without needing stitches) but again she acted like such an asshole that she only did one paw. if my cat was on that animal planet show where they rescue animals from neglectful households and then hold them at shelters for evaluation, her ass would've been euthanized long ago. i'm not sure why, but she has this insane streak. she acts like a rabid raccoon. it's embarrassing. and occasionally painful.
fuck, i'm hungry.
i made pancakes this morning because i've A: been craving pancakes, and B: need to use up some of the baking ingredients i bought for the cookies because i don't want to take them home with me (biann doesn't want them and probably will not use them) but sadly after beating the egg whites by hand and with a fork (chinese kitchens are not equipped with baking implements) and substituting milk with soymilk, they came out kind of dry. B was kind enough to eat 2 of them and commented that they were 'not bad' although he did say they were dry. lmao. canto honesty every time. i stuck some chocolate chips in mine and we found some honey to pour over them so that made them better.
i talked to my sister today for a long time. that was cool - we caught up on the dish and she got the full breakdown on what i did for 3 days in foshan with my uncle (mysterious stops on dark streets, karaoke with xiao jies and whiskey with green tea, me drugged out of my mind because of my food poisoning and the ensuing semi-conscious state thanks to lomotil) and i got the haps on the family unit on the other side of the ocean. for people addicted to heroin or opium or something, lomotil will do the trick. i've never been that stoned in my life. i would be sitting up watching TV and my eyes would keep rolling back in my head. and doctors willingly prescribe this to people, it's insane. i only took 2 of the 8 doses i was given because i couldn't hang, and it still took me 3 days after i stopped to get back to normal and stop acting like a freak.
i also got a cat update: they ran out of that advantage flea stuff so after grumbling, my dad threw down $50 for another pack (note to potential pet owners - advantage is the biggest racket outside of cell phone plans in the US) and they proceeded to dose the little monster. she reportedly scratched the shit out of my dad, who then grabbed her by the tail whilst she hissed and screamed, and my sister says that scarlett was literally swinging like a pendulum, screaming and hissing and trying to get at my dad who was pissed at that point for being scratched. she said she looked exactly like the tasmanian devil.
oops. the meek shall inherit the earth, so my cat ain't inheriting shit. she's a fucking monster and i'm the first person to admit it. my sister tried to cut her nails (you have to roll her in her blanket to do this without needing stitches) but again she acted like such an asshole that she only did one paw. if my cat was on that animal planet show where they rescue animals from neglectful households and then hold them at shelters for evaluation, her ass would've been euthanized long ago. i'm not sure why, but she has this insane streak. she acts like a rabid raccoon. it's embarrassing. and occasionally painful.
fuck, i'm hungry.
Friday, March 30, 2007
and i'm not done yet
you thought there would be an end to the bitching?
think again!
zow!
bam!
poof!
i am having doubts about my decisions. and yes, little cricket, there are times when we are not certain that the paths we have taken are leading us to the place where we want to be.
(random question: where do we want to be? in 5 years? in 10? the only thing i can say for certain is that i don't want to be blogging about financial worries in 10 years. if i am, someone find me and put me out of my misery.)
where do you want to be in 5 years? in 10?
isn't that something that financial planners always ask you? what you envision for yourself in the future? no one i know actually goes for the picket fence routine, probably something closer to the duplex-in-noe valley routine with some trendy car and a huge expendable income and some nifty-ass household appliances and throw pillows in clever prints tossed oh-so-lightheartedly around the joint.
am i calling my friends and associates yuppies? shit, my bad.
but don't lie, you always wanted one of those shiny, pretty stainless steel kitchens filled with sub-zeros and kitchen aides (the professional grade) and the automatic nespressos. you might be in it wearing raggy, torn shit (flip flops and socks and... sweatpants) or sporting piercings and ink, but underneath all of the keepin-it-real fantasies, we all want a comfortable life. we want access to good things and the knowledge that our kids (should we choose to accept) are going to be well-informed, straight of teeth, future berkeley bowl shoppers with good leftist politics.
i admit it. but those of you that know me well aren't surprised. first thing i have always been was materialistic. isn't that what got me chained to the retail career in the first place? the lust for the discount?
alright, i tire of this lame tirade. it's getting limp.
i'm going to wager a bet with... myself. i've been here since february 27. and it's now almost april. (wtf?! that's a long fuggin time.) i'm going to bet that i'm going to be here until april 9. making my stay here in the motherland (GOD i hate that word) 41 days, en totale.
rather staggering. i left lil ol' shanghai february 17. it's going to be damn near summer when i get back.
if i get back. (oh, ye of little faith, i will always accuse doth glass of being half empty... or some shit. did i say i studied shakespeare? i lied.)
now i'm just delirious. little cricket is going to cheung leung and maybe read a book.
think again!
zow!
bam!
poof!
i am having doubts about my decisions. and yes, little cricket, there are times when we are not certain that the paths we have taken are leading us to the place where we want to be.
(random question: where do we want to be? in 5 years? in 10? the only thing i can say for certain is that i don't want to be blogging about financial worries in 10 years. if i am, someone find me and put me out of my misery.)
where do you want to be in 5 years? in 10?
isn't that something that financial planners always ask you? what you envision for yourself in the future? no one i know actually goes for the picket fence routine, probably something closer to the duplex-in-noe valley routine with some trendy car and a huge expendable income and some nifty-ass household appliances and throw pillows in clever prints tossed oh-so-lightheartedly around the joint.
am i calling my friends and associates yuppies? shit, my bad.
but don't lie, you always wanted one of those shiny, pretty stainless steel kitchens filled with sub-zeros and kitchen aides (the professional grade) and the automatic nespressos. you might be in it wearing raggy, torn shit (flip flops and socks and... sweatpants) or sporting piercings and ink, but underneath all of the keepin-it-real fantasies, we all want a comfortable life. we want access to good things and the knowledge that our kids (should we choose to accept) are going to be well-informed, straight of teeth, future berkeley bowl shoppers with good leftist politics.
i admit it. but those of you that know me well aren't surprised. first thing i have always been was materialistic. isn't that what got me chained to the retail career in the first place? the lust for the discount?
alright, i tire of this lame tirade. it's getting limp.
i'm going to wager a bet with... myself. i've been here since february 27. and it's now almost april. (wtf?! that's a long fuggin time.) i'm going to bet that i'm going to be here until april 9. making my stay here in the motherland (GOD i hate that word) 41 days, en totale.
rather staggering. i left lil ol' shanghai february 17. it's going to be damn near summer when i get back.
if i get back. (oh, ye of little faith, i will always accuse doth glass of being half empty... or some shit. did i say i studied shakespeare? i lied.)
now i'm just delirious. little cricket is going to cheung leung and maybe read a book.
spizzoken WAAAAY too soon
sampling the new sensodyne 'fresh impact' right now. it reminds me of the old aquafresh from back in the day. or do they still make it? i vaguely remember being so very little and hella jocking aquafresh and wanting my mom to buy it for me because my friend jennifer used it and it had the three-stripe thing going on. it didn't taste particularly compelling. but of course, being my mom, she stuck to reliable old mono-stripe crest. good for her... aquafresh was so peripheral... and that red stripe! red toothpaste always seemed a little wrong to me... yeah yeah, i know there are you weirdos out there who still use close-up in all its strangeness.
glad to see sensodyne is jumping on the bandwagon and repositioning itself in the market. must be the products of that baby-boom and their post-braces tooth sensitivity. not just for old peoples anymore, so you gotta actually get off your ass and sell the shit, come up with whitening and 'fresh impact' formulations because you know us 20 and 30-somethings ain't down with the dog shampoo-flavored original. oh yeah, you read me, i wrote DOG SHAMPOO-FLAVORED ORIGINAL. wanna fight? well you're going to have to fly your ass to hong fucking kong because i'm STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how's that for a surprise intro?
i'm bummed. so what do we do when we're bummed? hell if i know, i'm still figuring that out. well i tried to be one of those girls that bakes and shit when she's upset, so i made some cookies for my cousin + wife (who prolly don't even like cookies) but now the cookies are done (plus some bonus dough in the fridge for a fresh-baked breakfast) and i'm still spinnin' my wheels. i guess i'm not an emotional eater-slash-baker. so now what the fuck?
i folded some laundry. still feel the same.
i read me some perez hilton, and giggled, but still... i feel the same.
oh, wait a minute. i know. i used to go and work out and either run my ass into the ground (didn't take much) or run plus swim or run plus lift weights or do something that would make physical all of my internal anxieties, then melt them all away into a nice little world of fatigue. fuzzy warm nighttime feeling, walking home from the gym by myself in downtown oakland with no mace in hand, listening to loud music on my ipizzle so that i could be easily attacked from behind... all nice 'n clean and having paid physical penance for internal stresses that i may or may not have earned. isn't life just like that?
(and this is for the little version of my mom i have sitting on my left shoulder, ai-ya'ing over things that i say as i say them): for the record, not a single questionable thing ever happened to me on my way home. enlightening, considering downtown oakland's reputation (stay off broadway and use your noodle and you should be cool). no sketchy folk, no homeless men staggering around (like that matters), only the drunk fools with asian flush congregating outside le cheval all hella shouting and shit. what's so exciting about le cheval, anyway? they need some help with the interior of that place. looks like a cross between club six and one of those joints on east 12th.
what did i do today? oh yes, i wasted yet another fucking day in pursuit of this motherfucking work permit that is turning into the bane of my existence, the holy goddamned grail, the whatever other euphamisms i can't think of right now. methinks it would have been easier to actually find a job.
methinks i spent a year studying shakespeare and the only thing i can remember about it is some king running around looking for a sword. it does impress the relatives, though. a YEAR studying that old coot? oh yeah, amongst other old BARDS and their gout-ridden selves. and where has this gotten us? well, to be precise, stuck in hong kong, unemployed, poor, and nothing better to do on a friday night than bang away on a wireless keyboard that skips every other letter so i have to backspace and retype everything.
i don't really mind the last part so much. staying in a on friday night, i mean. better than running around lan kwai fung with various peoples i'm not that comfortable with knowing that being home is going to cost me about $100 HKD because it's going to be 3 AM-ish when the MTR has stopped running...
bottom line? i'm super duper stressed about money. always have been. always will be.
glad to see sensodyne is jumping on the bandwagon and repositioning itself in the market. must be the products of that baby-boom and their post-braces tooth sensitivity. not just for old peoples anymore, so you gotta actually get off your ass and sell the shit, come up with whitening and 'fresh impact' formulations because you know us 20 and 30-somethings ain't down with the dog shampoo-flavored original. oh yeah, you read me, i wrote DOG SHAMPOO-FLAVORED ORIGINAL. wanna fight? well you're going to have to fly your ass to hong fucking kong because i'm STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how's that for a surprise intro?
i'm bummed. so what do we do when we're bummed? hell if i know, i'm still figuring that out. well i tried to be one of those girls that bakes and shit when she's upset, so i made some cookies for my cousin + wife (who prolly don't even like cookies) but now the cookies are done (plus some bonus dough in the fridge for a fresh-baked breakfast) and i'm still spinnin' my wheels. i guess i'm not an emotional eater-slash-baker. so now what the fuck?
i folded some laundry. still feel the same.
i read me some perez hilton, and giggled, but still... i feel the same.
oh, wait a minute. i know. i used to go and work out and either run my ass into the ground (didn't take much) or run plus swim or run plus lift weights or do something that would make physical all of my internal anxieties, then melt them all away into a nice little world of fatigue. fuzzy warm nighttime feeling, walking home from the gym by myself in downtown oakland with no mace in hand, listening to loud music on my ipizzle so that i could be easily attacked from behind... all nice 'n clean and having paid physical penance for internal stresses that i may or may not have earned. isn't life just like that?
(and this is for the little version of my mom i have sitting on my left shoulder, ai-ya'ing over things that i say as i say them): for the record, not a single questionable thing ever happened to me on my way home. enlightening, considering downtown oakland's reputation (stay off broadway and use your noodle and you should be cool). no sketchy folk, no homeless men staggering around (like that matters), only the drunk fools with asian flush congregating outside le cheval all hella shouting and shit. what's so exciting about le cheval, anyway? they need some help with the interior of that place. looks like a cross between club six and one of those joints on east 12th.
what did i do today? oh yes, i wasted yet another fucking day in pursuit of this motherfucking work permit that is turning into the bane of my existence, the holy goddamned grail, the whatever other euphamisms i can't think of right now. methinks it would have been easier to actually find a job.
methinks i spent a year studying shakespeare and the only thing i can remember about it is some king running around looking for a sword. it does impress the relatives, though. a YEAR studying that old coot? oh yeah, amongst other old BARDS and their gout-ridden selves. and where has this gotten us? well, to be precise, stuck in hong kong, unemployed, poor, and nothing better to do on a friday night than bang away on a wireless keyboard that skips every other letter so i have to backspace and retype everything.
i don't really mind the last part so much. staying in a on friday night, i mean. better than running around lan kwai fung with various peoples i'm not that comfortable with knowing that being home is going to cost me about $100 HKD because it's going to be 3 AM-ish when the MTR has stopped running...
bottom line? i'm super duper stressed about money. always have been. always will be.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
wha...
getting down to the wire now.
the good news is that i have been reunited with my beloved laptop and i'm clacking away on it as we speak. after much frustration with the broadband thing. thank you, cyn.
so i should actually be leaving HK soon! how you like them apples?! i'm probably going to go through withdrawal. i just went to mannings and bought out the store on random shit i'm never going to find in china - burt's bees natural insect repellant, shoe inserts, cetaphil. if i were to create a pie chart thing in quicken to categorize my expenses, i think 'random grooming items' would probably represent a good quarter-pie.
mmm, pie. apple pie. peach pie.
went with the fams to yum cha this morning, then dropped another 850 HKD on another visa for china, then did a little walking around TST with biann. good fun. we were both a little hungry so we stopped in a cha sam tim and had what qualifies as a large tea or a small lunch. at any rate, it was a macau restaurant so we got those portugese egg tarts. slammin. highly recommended if you haven't already indulged.
so when i get back to SH i need to get some business cards or name cards made. i'm thinking that as a freelance writer it's kind of suicide to not have them. people have them in SH for the purpose of partying and networking, so why the hell not. i'm trying to think up a nice design and logo.
alrighty. i'm off. hi to everyone. wish me luck in getting home this week.
the good news is that i have been reunited with my beloved laptop and i'm clacking away on it as we speak. after much frustration with the broadband thing. thank you, cyn.
so i should actually be leaving HK soon! how you like them apples?! i'm probably going to go through withdrawal. i just went to mannings and bought out the store on random shit i'm never going to find in china - burt's bees natural insect repellant, shoe inserts, cetaphil. if i were to create a pie chart thing in quicken to categorize my expenses, i think 'random grooming items' would probably represent a good quarter-pie.
mmm, pie. apple pie. peach pie.
went with the fams to yum cha this morning, then dropped another 850 HKD on another visa for china, then did a little walking around TST with biann. good fun. we were both a little hungry so we stopped in a cha sam tim and had what qualifies as a large tea or a small lunch. at any rate, it was a macau restaurant so we got those portugese egg tarts. slammin. highly recommended if you haven't already indulged.
so when i get back to SH i need to get some business cards or name cards made. i'm thinking that as a freelance writer it's kind of suicide to not have them. people have them in SH for the purpose of partying and networking, so why the hell not. i'm trying to think up a nice design and logo.
alrighty. i'm off. hi to everyone. wish me luck in getting home this week.
Friday, March 23, 2007
oh yeah II
i keep forgetting -
currently reading: the god of small things by arundhati roy. hella good. i recommend.
hey! don't complain. my focus was multicultural lit, so shut it. also, my sister gave me these to read and we be likin' the minority writers. we ARE a minority, you know. not, uh, in hong kong, but in oakland. so there.
currently reading: the god of small things by arundhati roy. hella good. i recommend.
hey! don't complain. my focus was multicultural lit, so shut it. also, my sister gave me these to read and we be likin' the minority writers. we ARE a minority, you know. not, uh, in hong kong, but in oakland. so there.
taxes
after (finally) paying my cc bill, i screamed like a girl when i saw my checking account balance. apparently hong kong is *really* living up to its reputation in my case.
but my mom, she is so so clevah.... 'chiu wei-ah. file your taxes, then the money will be in your account in a week.'
so i'm filing.
one of these days i want to check one of those mystifying boxes on turbotax that says i received sick pay from the railroad employee association, or that i received a payment from the ottoman turkish empire settlement (that's not made up).
just. once.
still listening like a crackhead to the one track on www.myspace.com/blaqkaudio... what else is new... cyn's comin' on down this weekend, should be loads 'o fun... i think i have an infection in my right eye... i got my hair cut yesterday at salon esprit ($250 hkd = $33 usd for the mid-day discount, not bad)... i bought two books (they were work-related so leave me alone)... i need to find a job... oh wait, that's old news... saadiq's going to be in korea this weekend but i'm too broke to go and play, so that's sad...
i got a HAIRcut and you ain't GOT one... so i don't look like a ragamuffin... or at least a ragamuffin with bad hair... i can call my man... so? i can get a ragamuffin... who sang that song? don't think i ever knew his name.
alrighty! back to turbotax.
but my mom, she is so so clevah.... 'chiu wei-ah. file your taxes, then the money will be in your account in a week.'
so i'm filing.
one of these days i want to check one of those mystifying boxes on turbotax that says i received sick pay from the railroad employee association, or that i received a payment from the ottoman turkish empire settlement (that's not made up).
just. once.
still listening like a crackhead to the one track on www.myspace.com/blaqkaudio... what else is new... cyn's comin' on down this weekend, should be loads 'o fun... i think i have an infection in my right eye... i got my hair cut yesterday at salon esprit ($250 hkd = $33 usd for the mid-day discount, not bad)... i bought two books (they were work-related so leave me alone)... i need to find a job... oh wait, that's old news... saadiq's going to be in korea this weekend but i'm too broke to go and play, so that's sad...
i got a HAIRcut and you ain't GOT one... so i don't look like a ragamuffin... or at least a ragamuffin with bad hair... i can call my man... so? i can get a ragamuffin... who sang that song? don't think i ever knew his name.
alrighty! back to turbotax.
Friday, March 16, 2007
oh, and
currently reading: the farming of bones, edwidge danticat. i read her first book, breath, eyes, memory while in college and i made everyone else read it, too. go read both.
a couple more
couldn't resist...
dessert time! i'm a big fan of black sesame anything, esp hot sweet black sesame soup (YUM) or sweet dumplings filled with it in a gingery soup
on our way up to see the big buddha
vietnam again. i'm going a little crazy after 7 hours on the bus. and i know, i suck at those self-portrait maneuvers.
dessert time! i'm a big fan of black sesame anything, esp hot sweet black sesame soup (YUM) or sweet dumplings filled with it in a gingery soup
on our way up to see the big buddha
vietnam again. i'm going a little crazy after 7 hours on the bus. and i know, i suck at those self-portrait maneuvers.
!!!!!!!!
i just wrote this whole entry and then stupid explorer exploded and took it with it. god damn piece of shit microsoft application crapola.
*$#)%(!*$#(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
first things first - two members from my favoritist band EVER (www.afireinside.net) is working on an electronica-inspired side project and has just laid some tracks. i'm listerning to one now and i know i'm slightly off-balance groupie person, but i really like it. go take a listen and support your local artists.
http://www.myspace.com/blaqkaudio
still in hong kong. will probably be here for another 2-3 weeks. talk about overstaying my welcome!!!! i know i'm the baby cousin and all, but a housguest for a record 4-5 weeks can't be fun for everyone. my cousin and his wife have been more than awesome. they prolly don't give a shit that i'm still here, but i do... it's kinda like the favor system that puzo writes about in the godfather (if you haven't read it, do so). i do all the taking now - crashing at their pad, getting floated constantly for meals and entertainment - and in some way it will come back to them via my parents in some way.
my sister just left after staying for a bit over a week here in hk with me. she was in india and nepal, and stopped over for a bit of civilization. it was an interesting anthroplogical study to see how we each dealt with the situation - i think i learned a lot about how our roles in life enmeshed and determined a lot of our own development as people. on one hand, she knows the hk family branch much better than i and understand decades more cantonese than i do. eons. lightyears. my vocab consists of random foods and a smattering of baby talk - 'close the door,' 'brush teeth,' 'take off shoes,' 'shower,' and, 'where's your dad?' knowing that, it was still very interesting to see how i reacted when i first arrived (very tentative, polite in an over-compensating sort of way which only functions to make everyone else uncomfortable), and how she dealt with it (authoritative, older-sister style, reassuring to everyone). a nice stroll down the path of internal observation.
the weather has gotten warm again, and humid. it was unexpectedly cool last week, so my sister and i were wearing random assortments of clothing we'd happen to have with us plus my cousin's sweatshirts. true to hk stereotypes, i'm about my cousin's size. he's a boy (oops, i guess a man since he's like in his thirties). his wife is literally the size of what i think i might have been in the fifth grade. i'm not exaggerating. she wears a size 4 shoe. no borrowing anything from her wardrobe! i'm lucky i brought 2 pairs of jeans with me - i'd be hatin life right now if i hadn't. i guess we're typical ABCs - tall with some bigass feet. altho on the subway you do see some tall-ass people so i guess times are a-changin. ever so slowly.
contemplating seeking work in hong kong. it's the civilized version of asia - people actually walk around you or apologize if they bump you, there is a general level of hygiene, and wonderful stores like kiehls and city super (organic bath products in china. can you stand it?) and artsy-fartsy areas exist where you can check out local designers and artists. love love love. i've already bought some clothes made by local designers. mainland china has its perks - you can live so very nicely on very little cash - plus i have some good people there. best friend and on down, actually. and i actually miss my yoga studio, as stupid as that sounds. but there's that wildness to it, that so very blatant unfamiliarity everywhere. you never know if you're getting what you want - a facial, a cosmo, some shoes - or if it's some chemical-ridden fake that's going to burn off your face or fall apart on the street or make you suddenly lose your eyesight or something.
i'll shut up now. managed to download a couple of photos for your enjoyment.
my cousin angel, my other cousin's wife biann, my sister, me. i think we'd just eaten some enormous meal because we're grinning like imbeciles. well, we tend to eat enormous meals with regularity, anyway.
ck and me, obviously the same night. i think we're in mong kok.
this one is actually in vietnam, before i arrived in hk. cyn and me after our rock-climbing day trip. have you ever seen a grown woman engage in multiple full-body pull ups in order to avoid embarrassing herself on some stupid rock? well, i embarrassed myself anyway.
*$#)%(!*$#(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
first things first - two members from my favoritist band EVER (www.afireinside.net) is working on an electronica-inspired side project and has just laid some tracks. i'm listerning to one now and i know i'm slightly off-balance groupie person, but i really like it. go take a listen and support your local artists.
http://www.myspace.com/blaqkaudio
still in hong kong. will probably be here for another 2-3 weeks. talk about overstaying my welcome!!!! i know i'm the baby cousin and all, but a housguest for a record 4-5 weeks can't be fun for everyone. my cousin and his wife have been more than awesome. they prolly don't give a shit that i'm still here, but i do... it's kinda like the favor system that puzo writes about in the godfather (if you haven't read it, do so). i do all the taking now - crashing at their pad, getting floated constantly for meals and entertainment - and in some way it will come back to them via my parents in some way.
my sister just left after staying for a bit over a week here in hk with me. she was in india and nepal, and stopped over for a bit of civilization. it was an interesting anthroplogical study to see how we each dealt with the situation - i think i learned a lot about how our roles in life enmeshed and determined a lot of our own development as people. on one hand, she knows the hk family branch much better than i and understand decades more cantonese than i do. eons. lightyears. my vocab consists of random foods and a smattering of baby talk - 'close the door,' 'brush teeth,' 'take off shoes,' 'shower,' and, 'where's your dad?' knowing that, it was still very interesting to see how i reacted when i first arrived (very tentative, polite in an over-compensating sort of way which only functions to make everyone else uncomfortable), and how she dealt with it (authoritative, older-sister style, reassuring to everyone). a nice stroll down the path of internal observation.
the weather has gotten warm again, and humid. it was unexpectedly cool last week, so my sister and i were wearing random assortments of clothing we'd happen to have with us plus my cousin's sweatshirts. true to hk stereotypes, i'm about my cousin's size. he's a boy (oops, i guess a man since he's like in his thirties). his wife is literally the size of what i think i might have been in the fifth grade. i'm not exaggerating. she wears a size 4 shoe. no borrowing anything from her wardrobe! i'm lucky i brought 2 pairs of jeans with me - i'd be hatin life right now if i hadn't. i guess we're typical ABCs - tall with some bigass feet. altho on the subway you do see some tall-ass people so i guess times are a-changin. ever so slowly.
contemplating seeking work in hong kong. it's the civilized version of asia - people actually walk around you or apologize if they bump you, there is a general level of hygiene, and wonderful stores like kiehls and city super (organic bath products in china. can you stand it?) and artsy-fartsy areas exist where you can check out local designers and artists. love love love. i've already bought some clothes made by local designers. mainland china has its perks - you can live so very nicely on very little cash - plus i have some good people there. best friend and on down, actually. and i actually miss my yoga studio, as stupid as that sounds. but there's that wildness to it, that so very blatant unfamiliarity everywhere. you never know if you're getting what you want - a facial, a cosmo, some shoes - or if it's some chemical-ridden fake that's going to burn off your face or fall apart on the street or make you suddenly lose your eyesight or something.
i'll shut up now. managed to download a couple of photos for your enjoyment.
my cousin angel, my other cousin's wife biann, my sister, me. i think we'd just eaten some enormous meal because we're grinning like imbeciles. well, we tend to eat enormous meals with regularity, anyway.
this one is actually in vietnam, before i arrived in hk. cyn and me after our rock-climbing day trip. have you ever seen a grown woman engage in multiple full-body pull ups in order to avoid embarrassing herself on some stupid rock? well, i embarrassed myself anyway.
Monday, March 05, 2007
visa schmisa
greetings from hong kong to all 2.4 of you that read this!
last time i was here was about 16 years ago, and either hk has changed a lot (possible, even likely) or i've grown up a lot and can more fully appreciate what it has to offer. a little of both i'd venture to say. for the past week (after arriving from vietnam) i've been seeing family, eating all of the culinary delights that hk has to offer, and shopping. people weren't joking when they said hk will break you. oh yeah, and the clubs are kinda off the hinges.
i remember being here when i was 13 and already topping out the clothes sizes, so i was a bit doubtful when the initiated would warn me not to spend too much here. but times, they are a-changin; clothes sizes are being made bigger for us furriners.... plus maybe the average hk woman is getting slightly larger (not sure, my cousins are pretty tiny), PLUS there's so much more than just clothes to buy. bags, accessories, grooming items... i used to giggle at hk fashions but it's matured and i've matured (maybe) and some of this shit is pretty tight. not literally.
my sister arrives tomorrow and she and i will embark on a full-fledged takeover of my cousin + wife's apartment. for hk standards, their place is really spacious, and i appreciate each and every comfort it offers. but my sister and i in the guest room, whoa. she's flying in from 3 weeks in india and nepal, and i would be venturing to guess she's got her fair share of luggage. yo, tambien. i managed to squidge everything i bought into one shopping bag (ok, i haven't actually purchased that much, thankfully) plus there's my luggage and the issue of where we will actually sleep, in square footage.
i would upload some pics but alas, they're all on my camera and my laptop is at home, all snug and cosy in its little vaio zip-up jacket.
waiting on a solution for my visa problem. right now the way it stands with china if you are an american is that you need two successive F visas of 30 days each (having to exit china after each one expires, reapply, then re-enter), then you can apply for the 6-month visa, which is great and all but on this type of visa you have to exit china every 30 days.
hello? wtf. flights to hk (what immigration considers 'out of china') are about $300 USD. that's my only solution?
more and more, things are pointing to - 'carolyn, you need a job. oh, and a job that will apply for a work permit for your ass.' or 'carolyn, you must look elsewhere or go home or something.'
carolyn does not have the ends to fly to hong kong every 30 days, as wonderful as this place is.
i've been able to see most everyone on my list (granted, the list is quite short) and hopefully tonight will be the last of it as the last friend is finally back from japan. still, i have no qualms staying in with my cousin + wife and watching inane, dramatic korean movies (ok, my cousin is usually watching football/soccer matches in the other room) with the exception of feeling like i'm some big, galumphing intruder on their quiet home lives.
today i spent here and not engaging in commerce. i cleaned up my little room, vacuumed, and washed some clothes. dryers (like most of the rest of the world) in hk are rare so laundry time is followed by many assorted clothing items being hung neatly (but still managing to look strewn about) all over the damn place. i've got my underwear doing time at my bedroom window right now.
currently reading: jonathan safran foer's everything is illuminated
last time i was here was about 16 years ago, and either hk has changed a lot (possible, even likely) or i've grown up a lot and can more fully appreciate what it has to offer. a little of both i'd venture to say. for the past week (after arriving from vietnam) i've been seeing family, eating all of the culinary delights that hk has to offer, and shopping. people weren't joking when they said hk will break you. oh yeah, and the clubs are kinda off the hinges.
i remember being here when i was 13 and already topping out the clothes sizes, so i was a bit doubtful when the initiated would warn me not to spend too much here. but times, they are a-changin; clothes sizes are being made bigger for us furriners.... plus maybe the average hk woman is getting slightly larger (not sure, my cousins are pretty tiny), PLUS there's so much more than just clothes to buy. bags, accessories, grooming items... i used to giggle at hk fashions but it's matured and i've matured (maybe) and some of this shit is pretty tight. not literally.
my sister arrives tomorrow and she and i will embark on a full-fledged takeover of my cousin + wife's apartment. for hk standards, their place is really spacious, and i appreciate each and every comfort it offers. but my sister and i in the guest room, whoa. she's flying in from 3 weeks in india and nepal, and i would be venturing to guess she's got her fair share of luggage. yo, tambien. i managed to squidge everything i bought into one shopping bag (ok, i haven't actually purchased that much, thankfully) plus there's my luggage and the issue of where we will actually sleep, in square footage.
i would upload some pics but alas, they're all on my camera and my laptop is at home, all snug and cosy in its little vaio zip-up jacket.
waiting on a solution for my visa problem. right now the way it stands with china if you are an american is that you need two successive F visas of 30 days each (having to exit china after each one expires, reapply, then re-enter), then you can apply for the 6-month visa, which is great and all but on this type of visa you have to exit china every 30 days.
hello? wtf. flights to hk (what immigration considers 'out of china') are about $300 USD. that's my only solution?
more and more, things are pointing to - 'carolyn, you need a job. oh, and a job that will apply for a work permit for your ass.' or 'carolyn, you must look elsewhere or go home or something.'
carolyn does not have the ends to fly to hong kong every 30 days, as wonderful as this place is.
i've been able to see most everyone on my list (granted, the list is quite short) and hopefully tonight will be the last of it as the last friend is finally back from japan. still, i have no qualms staying in with my cousin + wife and watching inane, dramatic korean movies (ok, my cousin is usually watching football/soccer matches in the other room) with the exception of feeling like i'm some big, galumphing intruder on their quiet home lives.
today i spent here and not engaging in commerce. i cleaned up my little room, vacuumed, and washed some clothes. dryers (like most of the rest of the world) in hk are rare so laundry time is followed by many assorted clothing items being hung neatly (but still managing to look strewn about) all over the damn place. i've got my underwear doing time at my bedroom window right now.
currently reading: jonathan safran foer's everything is illuminated
Thursday, February 15, 2007
when i was 13...
i had mariah carey's self-titled first album, and i fuggin LOVED that album. i'd almost forgotten how good down 'n dirty cheeseball that album is, until i was thinking of remodeling my bathroom this past spring and went to this bathroom fixture place in chinatown that played that entire album, accompanied by cheesy vietnamese karaoke videos. i was reminded of it again tonight while watching the 'american idol' auditions. some girl did a horrible rendition of 'without you' (different album). there's nothing like hearing a fucked-up version of a song to make you want to hear the real thing. i'm listening to 'all i want for christmas' right now. buy that for a dollah.
we are BOOKED for vietnam. i even booked the rock-climbing and trekking tours in da lat. i'm so proud of myself. and i am, this moment, backing up all the shit on my hard drive that matters on the new 2 gb usb data key that i bought today for $25 usd... and i got a 1 gig memory card for my camera (i hadn't realized i was using a 256 this whole time). and a ipod converter charger thing. all for less than $56 usd. back at home the usb alone would have been that much unless you were intrepid online relentless bargain hunter. i guess there are some good things about being here... hehe.
so i thought tonight would be the first day since saturday that i haven't been drinking, but me and cyn and ulf just split a bottle of prosecco. i'm trying to get to bed at a decent hour tonight, like before 4 am would be ideal. it's already 2 am, tho, so it's not looking good. i just feel so much more awake at night. my brain works better, more clearly. people who witness me trying to think before caffeine and at any hour before 11 am realize that i'm not fit to make decisions or even have relatively decent recall ability with either of these two factors involved. zzzzz....
so i talked to my parents yesterday. besides announcing they were refusing to celebrate christmas until one of their offspring produces their own procreated little bundle of screaming red-faced joy, my dad gave me a cat update. (for the uninitiated - my family will talk endlessly about two subjects - food and their pets.) my furry ball of allergens (i discovered 6 months after i got my kitty cat cat that i'm allergic and she triggers my asthma) has overcome a lot since she moved in with my folks - she developed a relationship with their rottweiler, she learned to go outside without freaking out and hiding in the compost bin, she worked her way into my mom's affection (as it were) and is allowed to sit on her desk, 'with her butt on my papers,' as my mom would so eloquently state. or huff. scarlett has also put on about 30% more body mass because my mom's solution to the cat rubbing on her ankles - which she views as harassment - is to dump food in her bowl for a moment's reprieve from the cardinal sin of affection. my cat is a pig, but she's not stupid, so she caught on to this rather quickly and i think her body mass ratio is quite alarming. when she runs, her belly swings violently from side to side. when i was home, we resumed our daily ritual of doing the humpty dance for visiting relatives or my grandmother's entertainment, but that didn't seem to suffice for additional cardiovascular activity to the extent that it would lead to weight loss.
the cat update consisted of the news that my grumpy little animal has made herself some 'cat friends,' as my dad says. they apparently sit in the garden, about a foot apart, and stare at each other. i'm told this goes on for hours. and i have to deduce that since scarlett isn't busy trying beat the holy shit out of these other cats (like mama, like kitty) that they are indeed friends and this is how cats socialize. i mean, i guess if you sleep 20 hours a day, going for lunch at the country club and maybe a bit of shopping on the avenue is just far too taxing. sitting amongst my dad's snow pea trellis and herb garden is probably far more appealing. maybe blinking once in a while, you know. wouldn't want to strain oneself.
we are BOOKED for vietnam. i even booked the rock-climbing and trekking tours in da lat. i'm so proud of myself. and i am, this moment, backing up all the shit on my hard drive that matters on the new 2 gb usb data key that i bought today for $25 usd... and i got a 1 gig memory card for my camera (i hadn't realized i was using a 256 this whole time). and a ipod converter charger thing. all for less than $56 usd. back at home the usb alone would have been that much unless you were intrepid online relentless bargain hunter. i guess there are some good things about being here... hehe.
so i thought tonight would be the first day since saturday that i haven't been drinking, but me and cyn and ulf just split a bottle of prosecco. i'm trying to get to bed at a decent hour tonight, like before 4 am would be ideal. it's already 2 am, tho, so it's not looking good. i just feel so much more awake at night. my brain works better, more clearly. people who witness me trying to think before caffeine and at any hour before 11 am realize that i'm not fit to make decisions or even have relatively decent recall ability with either of these two factors involved. zzzzz....
so i talked to my parents yesterday. besides announcing they were refusing to celebrate christmas until one of their offspring produces their own procreated little bundle of screaming red-faced joy, my dad gave me a cat update. (for the uninitiated - my family will talk endlessly about two subjects - food and their pets.) my furry ball of allergens (i discovered 6 months after i got my kitty cat cat that i'm allergic and she triggers my asthma) has overcome a lot since she moved in with my folks - she developed a relationship with their rottweiler, she learned to go outside without freaking out and hiding in the compost bin, she worked her way into my mom's affection (as it were) and is allowed to sit on her desk, 'with her butt on my papers,' as my mom would so eloquently state. or huff. scarlett has also put on about 30% more body mass because my mom's solution to the cat rubbing on her ankles - which she views as harassment - is to dump food in her bowl for a moment's reprieve from the cardinal sin of affection. my cat is a pig, but she's not stupid, so she caught on to this rather quickly and i think her body mass ratio is quite alarming. when she runs, her belly swings violently from side to side. when i was home, we resumed our daily ritual of doing the humpty dance for visiting relatives or my grandmother's entertainment, but that didn't seem to suffice for additional cardiovascular activity to the extent that it would lead to weight loss.
the cat update consisted of the news that my grumpy little animal has made herself some 'cat friends,' as my dad says. they apparently sit in the garden, about a foot apart, and stare at each other. i'm told this goes on for hours. and i have to deduce that since scarlett isn't busy trying beat the holy shit out of these other cats (like mama, like kitty) that they are indeed friends and this is how cats socialize. i mean, i guess if you sleep 20 hours a day, going for lunch at the country club and maybe a bit of shopping on the avenue is just far too taxing. sitting amongst my dad's snow pea trellis and herb garden is probably far more appealing. maybe blinking once in a while, you know. wouldn't want to strain oneself.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
i smell like smoke
as always.
we had sichuan food tonight for linda's going-away. i've decided not to go to hangzhou tomorrow because i have to concentrate on booking hotels for vietnam. i've gotten dinged and cancelled and everything else you can possibly imagine because of tet. sucks.
i love all the different things you try in sichuan food, plus the spiciness. but there's this little, very strongly-flavored spice they use (alvin says it's called mala) that looks like a mini caper but explodes in your mouth and makes your tongue numb. i called it nasty shit berry. i really dislike the flavor, i have an aversion to it. it's like eating a solid ball of bathroom cleaner-flavored listerine. we had some good dishes - duck blood in hot spicy oily soupy sauce, fried chicken pieces buried in chiles (you literally have to dig them out), pork slices with cucumber that you dip in garlicky oily sauce, rabbit with chiles, eggplant stuffed with goose (that was really good), mah po dofu sichuan style (aka dusted with crushed mala), and i tried tac's sea horse with bull penis soup. tasted like chicken soup like mom used to make (no, really). sichuan food is really tasty, but as you may have noticed, most things are drowned in hot spicy oil, so it's definitely not for people on a diet or who can't eat hot stuff. i couldn't even eat the dan dan mian because there was a huge dollop of crushed mala paste on top and i couldn't hang.
tomorrow i have to call vietnam and book hotels, run to xintiandi and buy a usb flash to back up my files, and work more on my short stories. i decided that i would try writing a collection of short stories to get published. after hemming and hawing and waiting for the writing addiction to hit me again, i decided that i should just... start writing. and so i did, and here we go. let you know how that goes.
we had sichuan food tonight for linda's going-away. i've decided not to go to hangzhou tomorrow because i have to concentrate on booking hotels for vietnam. i've gotten dinged and cancelled and everything else you can possibly imagine because of tet. sucks.
i love all the different things you try in sichuan food, plus the spiciness. but there's this little, very strongly-flavored spice they use (alvin says it's called mala) that looks like a mini caper but explodes in your mouth and makes your tongue numb. i called it nasty shit berry. i really dislike the flavor, i have an aversion to it. it's like eating a solid ball of bathroom cleaner-flavored listerine. we had some good dishes - duck blood in hot spicy oily soupy sauce, fried chicken pieces buried in chiles (you literally have to dig them out), pork slices with cucumber that you dip in garlicky oily sauce, rabbit with chiles, eggplant stuffed with goose (that was really good), mah po dofu sichuan style (aka dusted with crushed mala), and i tried tac's sea horse with bull penis soup. tasted like chicken soup like mom used to make (no, really). sichuan food is really tasty, but as you may have noticed, most things are drowned in hot spicy oil, so it's definitely not for people on a diet or who can't eat hot stuff. i couldn't even eat the dan dan mian because there was a huge dollop of crushed mala paste on top and i couldn't hang.
tomorrow i have to call vietnam and book hotels, run to xintiandi and buy a usb flash to back up my files, and work more on my short stories. i decided that i would try writing a collection of short stories to get published. after hemming and hawing and waiting for the writing addiction to hit me again, i decided that i should just... start writing. and so i did, and here we go. let you know how that goes.
Monday, February 12, 2007
one more thing
if ya don't know, now ya know...
i'm addicted like hell to www.perezhilton.com (listed on the right under 'chisme chisme') and if you click on it within the next day or so you'll see the most unnecessary picture of harry potter, aka 'hairy' potter. whoa. that was uncalled for.
i'm addicted like hell to www.perezhilton.com (listed on the right under 'chisme chisme') and if you click on it within the next day or so you'll see the most unnecessary picture of harry potter, aka 'hairy' potter. whoa. that was uncalled for.
as an adult...
you have to consider things like what to do with anger. as a child or an adolescent, there was no question. rage was rage and you reacted, consequences be damned. an an almost-30-year old, i find myself considering absently if what i'm about to do (impulsive aquarian) is going to make life suck for me later.
that's the big difference, of course. i wonder briefly and still do what i do, although even i will admit that i take it down a notch. there's less cursing and more often than not i find myself disappointed in people and not even that angry. reacting more because that's why i've always done.
no big point here, just sort of musing. i had a rather disappointing run-in with that guy tonight, and i still held out some hope that he would handle things maturely, but he didn't, so oh well. it's kinda sad and his behavior was really unbecoming of an adult - fuck it, a human being. linda actually heard him asking one of our female friends, 'when will i see you again?' lmao, poor girl. i had to call him out, and i did, which is probably one thing i excel at and usually get some sort of gratification from, but this time it was just lame.
i'm heading to vietnam on saturday. i can't believe it's almost here! from now on, i'm just going to say, 'pho-kit' to anything that bothers me....
that's the big difference, of course. i wonder briefly and still do what i do, although even i will admit that i take it down a notch. there's less cursing and more often than not i find myself disappointed in people and not even that angry. reacting more because that's why i've always done.
no big point here, just sort of musing. i had a rather disappointing run-in with that guy tonight, and i still held out some hope that he would handle things maturely, but he didn't, so oh well. it's kinda sad and his behavior was really unbecoming of an adult - fuck it, a human being. linda actually heard him asking one of our female friends, 'when will i see you again?' lmao, poor girl. i had to call him out, and i did, which is probably one thing i excel at and usually get some sort of gratification from, but this time it was just lame.
i'm heading to vietnam on saturday. i can't believe it's almost here! from now on, i'm just going to say, 'pho-kit' to anything that bothers me....
Saturday, February 10, 2007
work hard, play hard?
a while ago i got a rare email from will which consisted of more than 2 - 3 lines and only 1 or 2 smartass comments. to be fair, he's in his second (uh, i think) year of residency and combined with a terminal condition called procrastination it's a heady combo. anyhoo, i digress. in it he made the observation that i - like him - seem to either be running around like crazy, partying hard, or laying around hella tired. it's funny when your close friends make observations about you that you don't expect. it's an interesting surprise to see how your people view your life.
i think about this comment on days like these, where i've spent the majority of the day on the couch recovering from the indulgences of the night before. i don't know what it is, but drinking in SH is a lot different from being at home. i'm sure it has a lot to do with the fake liquor or whatever gets served here - drinks can still taste strong but you just don't get as truly black-out, smash-through-the-plateglass-window fucked up that you get at home. at most the night seems to be vaguely fuzzy and one a rare night i'll not remember portions of what happened. but last night i knocked back quite a few (more than 10, less than 15) beverages and felt relatively ok, just really full. however, today has been a vicious exercise in futility to recover. it's the hangover that just won't end! i've eaten every carbohydrate in the house and then some, and i even took the dog to the park thinking that the cold air will do something magical and restorative. i still feel like a pancake.
mmm... pancakes....
saw frank last night at velvet. he's the kind of person that fuggin cracks you up just by existing, much like chris rock. i was wearing my white down jacket and a hoodie, and i kid you not he spent about 4.2 minutes smushing my coat and calling me fluffy carolyn. i don't know why but things like that really make me laugh.
ok, next subject.
so you - like i - may be a total romance cynic. i think that valentine's day and anniversaries are the biggest wastes of time and money, plus i worked in retail for 6 years so i know for a fact that they're just marketing ploys. being in the states really pile-drives the notion of ROMANCE and COMMERCE home, like you would not believe. one thing i like about SH is that the bottled-american sentiment aspect of society is blissfully absent. stupid stuff like some medical study getting published about the positive affects of green tea and suddenly green tea is the second coming, fueling product sales from the tea itself to fuggin moisturizer containing green tea essence or whatever the hell. anyway, valentine's day here is suddenly seeming like a big deal to people, probably because every club and restaurant (and there are far too many) is pushing valentine's day set menus and parties and crap like that. i've got my female friends here - with the exception of cyn bc she's like me - asking what my plans are and that we should have some single girls' celebration.
if there's one thing i don't understand, it's holding a separate celebration in defiance of a holiday, tradition, or mindset. it smacks of mimicry and false sentiment and i feel like you're just giving more strength to an idea that you are rebelling against. anyhoo, i gave weak 'um, maybe' responses to any propositions to a single girl valentine celebration. i'm not ashamed of being single or and i don't feel that it's some condition i'm fighting or needing to hide. i actually fought to be single, so there.
i learned on friday that in korea on valentine's day, the women give the men chocolate or candy. then, on white day - march 14 - the men give the women chocolate. then, on april 14 for black day, those people who didn't get chocolate get together and eat 'black noodles' (which i think is soba) and try to meet someone so they don't have to participate in it again the next year. for some reason i liked the idea of getting together to eat soba for a particular reason.
i think about this comment on days like these, where i've spent the majority of the day on the couch recovering from the indulgences of the night before. i don't know what it is, but drinking in SH is a lot different from being at home. i'm sure it has a lot to do with the fake liquor or whatever gets served here - drinks can still taste strong but you just don't get as truly black-out, smash-through-the-plateglass-window fucked up that you get at home. at most the night seems to be vaguely fuzzy and one a rare night i'll not remember portions of what happened. but last night i knocked back quite a few (more than 10, less than 15) beverages and felt relatively ok, just really full. however, today has been a vicious exercise in futility to recover. it's the hangover that just won't end! i've eaten every carbohydrate in the house and then some, and i even took the dog to the park thinking that the cold air will do something magical and restorative. i still feel like a pancake.
mmm... pancakes....
saw frank last night at velvet. he's the kind of person that fuggin cracks you up just by existing, much like chris rock. i was wearing my white down jacket and a hoodie, and i kid you not he spent about 4.2 minutes smushing my coat and calling me fluffy carolyn. i don't know why but things like that really make me laugh.
ok, next subject.
so you - like i - may be a total romance cynic. i think that valentine's day and anniversaries are the biggest wastes of time and money, plus i worked in retail for 6 years so i know for a fact that they're just marketing ploys. being in the states really pile-drives the notion of ROMANCE and COMMERCE home, like you would not believe. one thing i like about SH is that the bottled-american sentiment aspect of society is blissfully absent. stupid stuff like some medical study getting published about the positive affects of green tea and suddenly green tea is the second coming, fueling product sales from the tea itself to fuggin moisturizer containing green tea essence or whatever the hell. anyway, valentine's day here is suddenly seeming like a big deal to people, probably because every club and restaurant (and there are far too many) is pushing valentine's day set menus and parties and crap like that. i've got my female friends here - with the exception of cyn bc she's like me - asking what my plans are and that we should have some single girls' celebration.
if there's one thing i don't understand, it's holding a separate celebration in defiance of a holiday, tradition, or mindset. it smacks of mimicry and false sentiment and i feel like you're just giving more strength to an idea that you are rebelling against. anyhoo, i gave weak 'um, maybe' responses to any propositions to a single girl valentine celebration. i'm not ashamed of being single or and i don't feel that it's some condition i'm fighting or needing to hide. i actually fought to be single, so there.
i learned on friday that in korea on valentine's day, the women give the men chocolate or candy. then, on white day - march 14 - the men give the women chocolate. then, on april 14 for black day, those people who didn't get chocolate get together and eat 'black noodles' (which i think is soba) and try to meet someone so they don't have to participate in it again the next year. for some reason i liked the idea of getting together to eat soba for a particular reason.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
is this a joke?
my blogger sign-in appears either in german or chinese.
can a girl catch a break? i mean, damn.
here's a fun (and ill-lit) picture of alvin's feet. we were playing with settings on my camera.
can a girl catch a break? i mean, damn.
here's a fun (and ill-lit) picture of alvin's feet. we were playing with settings on my camera.
Monday, February 05, 2007
harbin....
the rumors are substantiated... harbin is verrrrry cold. the inlet where harbin sits is nicely situated between mongolia and the former soviet union. helLO freezing coldness. there's a main street where a lot of architecture still exists from the days where it was a huge russian enclave in the early 1900s. we tried a russian restaurant our first night there - a bit odd but the borscht and cabbage rolls were good.
so the ice and snow festival is split into a couple different locations. the snow-carving festival is north of downtown (where we were staying) across the songhua river (sight of the huge benzene chemical spill in november 2005), about a 25 yuan cab ride in a park. the ice carving part was walking distance from our hotel, and is best right after sunset because all the sculptures are lighted and it's pretty neat.
snow carving park
dog sledding at the snow park
sofia church, one of the famous examples of russian architecture
ice sculpture park
ice sculpture park
so the ice and snow festival is split into a couple different locations. the snow-carving festival is north of downtown (where we were staying) across the songhua river (sight of the huge benzene chemical spill in november 2005), about a 25 yuan cab ride in a park. the ice carving part was walking distance from our hotel, and is best right after sunset because all the sculptures are lighted and it's pretty neat.
snow carving park
dog sledding at the snow park
sofia church, one of the famous examples of russian architecture
ice sculpture park
ice sculpture park
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